It's Raining Because You're In Florida and It's Hurricane Season for Crying Out Loud

Remember this moment from early on in Gilmore Girls?

I'm sure everyone's gotten far past season one by now (even I'm on season three by now . . . I'd totally be done by now if netflix had put it up in September when I was only working two days a week, but now that I'm back up to four . . . ), but can I just say I loved this scene the first time I saw it.  Michel is my hero.

I had quite the Michel day yesterday.  To the point where there were too may stories for one facebook status, but they're all too good not to share.  So much so that I'm putting off the treatise I've been writing in my head about the different flavors of touron for another day.  But once it is written, I will have a blog post full of examples for it - this one.

I was at the upgrade booth yesterday, which makes for a slightly greater variety of questions because you get the people coming off the train who haven't quite figured out that they're in a different park yet.  And the ones who know they're in a different park . . . but might not be quite sure about which park they're in now.

So there I am, minding my own business, doing my best to be friendly even though I'm super tired because it's the first time I've opened in, like, six weeks and it's way too early.  But I have my sunglasses on and I've relearned how to fake being all chipper, so it's all good.

Until a group gets off the train . . . and one of them asks me "hey, where's the gringo?"

Yeah, you read that right.

It took me approximately 7.5 seconds to realize they were asking how to find the Harry Potter and the Escape from Gringotts ride, but 12 seconds to find my voice again because let me tell you, that was one I hadn't heard before.  And since I was literally incapable of replying in those twelve seconds they asked a follow up question.  "You know, that green goat ride?"

Which, naturally, rendered me speechless for another 15 seconds, so I couldn't only point and stutter "left" a couple of times.

Luckily most tourons aren't exactly looking for eloquence in their theme park peons, so a two-fingered point is more than sufficient and 95% of the time they don't even notice the confused look on your face.

That would have been memorable enough (seriously, still trying to figure out how you get "green goat" out of "Gringotts") but an hour and a half later (almost exactly - yes, I looked) here comes another guy off the train - completely different guy - who yells at me, without even stopping "how do we get to the green goat?"

At this point my only regret was that the only pub I could send them to was The Leaky Cauldron . . . and it's in the same direction as Gringotts. But at least I knew what they were looking for as soon as they asked this time, you know?

(side note: I'm not quite sure what to make of all the people coming just to ride this one new ride because it's a new roller coaster - I can't help but think those people are getting off the ride very disappointed.  As a Harry Potter ride is really cool, but as a roller coaster . . . it's really not.  Cool, I mean.)

Anyway.  Story two.  A couple of hours later.  A couple of little old-ish ladies (as in older than my mother but probably not as old as my grandmother) come strolling slowly off the train - meaning they were just at Islands of Adventure, and I know they were at Islands of Adventure, but . . .

So they come strolling over to me, and are all sweet and smiley and kind and friendly.  And then they ask me, "so when we're done here, dear, will the train take us back to Disney too?"

Somehow they never realized they had asked an odd question - even though my jaw actually dropped and I (mostly) involuntarily cocked my head and it probably took me a full twenty seconds to be able to say "the train . . . doesn't . . . doesn't go to . . . Disney . . . "

Little old-ish ladies: Oh, so where does the train go to then?

Me: Islands . . . of Adventure?

Little old-ish ladies: So how did we get here then?

Me: I honestly don't know.

That last bit?  Absolutely true.  (suffice it to say, the little old-ish ladies fall into they type 2 category of touron, as shall be explained . . . sometime soon . . . ish . . . )

So after that the day went on for a little while with only the typically repetitive questions (where's the restroom?) and the typically stupid questions (why is it raining?  can you make it stop?) and it seemed like the day's weirdness had passed.  And then one more group got off the train around lunchtime.

Let me take a moment to make things clear.  I was at King's Cross Station yesterday.  King's Cross Station is at Universal Studios, which has Diagon Alley.  The other end of the train goes to Islands of Adventure, which is where Hogsmeade is.  And Hogwarts Castle.  That one thing you must remember, or nothing that follows will seem wondrous.(my apologies for skipping over Thanksgiving, but ten points if you gt the reference)

So they get off the train and this time the conversation goes like this:

Touron: Where is Hogsmeade?

Me: *slight pause* You just came from Hogsmeade, ma'am.

Touron: Oh, so Hogsmeade is just a train station?

Me: No, there's also a village. (side note: depending on which way they came from, they may have come upon the train station first and not noticed the village beyond that.  unobservant, but completely possible)

Touron: So where is the castle?

Me: The castle is back in Hogsmeade.

Touron: Okay, I get it now.  So Diagon Alley is over there (points in direction of Diagon Alley)?

Me: Yes.

Touron.  Okay.  So what's over there (points in direction of Diagon Alley)?

Me: *long pause* Diagon . . . Alley . . . I think . . . ?

Because clearly she was looking for a different answer to the same exact area, but I honestly couldn't begin to guess what.  My answer seemed to be satisfactory though.

But the day ended on a high note.  Toward the end of my shift I was chatting with a couple of people who came off the train raving about how awesome it was, which happens every now and again. (side note: LOVE the people who remember we're people too and not just theme park peons) It started with them saying how much they loved the train, and then went into how Universal has been really improving lately and how WWoHP is really on a level where it's almost better than Disney (another rather common sentiment we hear about from time to time)  so of course I asked which direction they preferred for the train, because the ride is different both ways, but it turns out they didn't know that.  So I explain that they can go right back on the other way to check it out, and that this way they'll get to walk through Platform 9 3/4, which they got really excited for, and then I made sure they knew that by the time they got back over to IoA they might have to walk back to USF for HHN because the train stopped running in that direction as soon as the park closed to day guests.  And they're completely okay with that because honestly it's not that far a walk and nobody should be complaining about having to walk because before this year that was their only option, and yet (not so) oddly enough being okay with it is not the reaction we have all gotten used to bracing ourselves for.  which, you know, does not say much for today's society in general.  But these guys were super friendly and super nice and we had a great little conversation (and did I mention it's so nice when people acknowledge that we exist instead of ignoring us unless it's yelling at us for not giving them whatever stupid self-centered thing they want?) so I gave them a few extra tips to make sure they didn't miss anything and in the end I got added to the list of super helpful and friendly team members they were keeping and when they get home they're going to send a letter with the list to Universal so, yay!  Turns out the day full of both regular craziness and extra special craziness paid off in the very end.

But I'm still very happy to have a three day weekend.


P. ost  S. cript
Like there would be anything else here today.

Ode to Thirty

Also known as my second twenty-ninth birthday.  Because

Yeah, that sounds about right.  Anyway.

Starin' out into the wild blue yonder
So many thoughts to sit and ponder
'Bout life and love and wonderment of
And this craziness in my heart

Too old to be wild and free still
Too young to be over the hill
Should I try to grow up
But who knows where to start

So I just sit right here and have myself another snowcone
Do my best to waste another day
Sit right here and have another homemade snowcone
Let the packed boxes melt any blues away

Sun comes up and sun sinks down
And I seen 'em both in this two-horse town
Up for days wishin' for a raise

 Or just a job that is full time

From the answers and the reasons why
I'm at these crossroads in my life
And I think I mostly know

 Which way to fly

So I just sit right here and take another trip to the library
Do my best to waste another day
Sit right here and stack the books two feet high
Let the crappy novels (these days) melt any blues away

Maybe I'll settle down, have babies
Or stay kid-less and stay free
Which road I travel
Is still (slightly) a mystery to me

So I just sit right here and cross another square off the calendar
Do my best not to waste another day
Sit right here and grasp at straws for one more line
Let the passage of time melt any blues away

P. ost.  S. cript

 Apparently Kenny Chesney employs time traveling songwriters that steal from blogs.  Because that's a much more interesting explanation than saying I heard the song a couple weeks ago for the first time in ages and totally identified with it.

 

Lights, Tunnels

This will probably be a little cryptic to the handful of people still keeping up with the likes of us, but if everything keeps going the direction it is now . . . yeah.  Details will happen.

And I know you're not supposed to talk about money and stuff, but that's totally happening here so if you have a problem with that . . . well, you'll not be the first person to hit that unfollow button.

Anyway.  I got the call I'd been waiting for last night.  A week later than I expected it, and a week later than Sue had planned to make it.  Apparently to reach a cell phone number based in Cedar City when calling from a school in Logan dialing that 1 before the rest of the number is pretty essential.  But I have my job back, which is the important thing.  And it's as part-time as ever, which is the frustrating thing.  Because, hey, why hire ten good aides and have them work decent hours and want to stick around continuing to be good aides because it's a job they can get by with when you can hire twenty aides most of whom just need something to do?  Right Katie? (we've ranted on this together many a time)

The best news regarding my job is the possibility of an additional hour.  Apparently all the schools in Utah are giving all the kids free breakfast now or something?  Luke remembers seeing a story about it a little while back, but I missed it so I'm a little unclear on things.  All I know is that means there will be lots of kids on the playground early in the morning and they will need supervision and if I'm lucky that will be me . . . even though it will involve getting up and going and out of the house earlier than I've had to do in YEARS.  Oy.  Not gonna be pretty.  But that additional one hour will go a long way toward nearly doubling my paycheck - which mostly goes to show how few the hours that the power-that-be-even-though-they-don't-have-a-clue see fit to grant are.  If those who can't do teach (which I totally don't agree with, btw) then those who can't teach work in district offices.  Or in governmental positions that oversee education.

In other news, Luke's paycheck may be more than doubling in the semi-near future, which is pretty freaking awesome.  It's a slightly complicated, slightly convoluted story that's still playing out and that's where the details being unfolded later come in.  But for now if you have any voodoo charms, prayers, good vibes, etc. to spare we would not turn down a few to help ensure that this works out.  'Cause it's looking like the second half of this year is going to prove that some decisions/changes/achievements we made during the first half were totally the right ways to go.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have precisely eleven more days of sleeping in to do.  The morning of the 26th is going to be ugly.


P. ost  S. cript
So I can hear all the ones I'm "supposed" to . . . and it's like my ears can remember being able to hear the others.  I swear I can feel them trying to hear the rest!

But the Living Ain't Easy

In other words, Summertime: What It's Like Trying to Get a Job in Logan


And it's about like this.

Four years.  Four gazillion applications.  Four interviews.  Half a job.  Half a job I love . . . but only half a job.

I am really coming to hate this town.



P. ost  S. cript
I didn't particularly care for this song back in high school when we played it in symphony.  But it's grown on me in the decade (!) since then.

Once Upon Haituses (Hiati?) Suck (Or: Her Mother's Chin and Her Father's Tact)

Anyone still out there?  It was a long, less than Charming break.  But now the Charmings are back, and here's hoping for some awesome Charming reactions and Henry finally calling his elders what a kid his age should.  :-)

Everybody remember the rules?  Then grab your drink (I'm thinking we're going to need strong ones) and let's go back to Storybrooke!  (Is it spelled with an E at the end?  I can never remember, and we don't see it written down quite enough for it to stick with me.)


~ They are really going for the Hook-Jack Sparrow parallels, aren't they?

~ Is that the dwarf that tried leaving town?  I'm thinking yes.

~ Well so much for "Snow White and the SEVEN Dwarfs" . . .

~ The opening credits thing is Pongo?  Calling it - Jiminy's going to play a big part this week.

~ Ummmm . . . hello steamy scene.  These are soooooooooooo not Uncle Walt's fairy tales.

~ Well this scene has become fifty shades of awkward.  I'm calling it a rule #2!  As soon as I can drink without choking on laughter anyway.

~ FTL Regina has the best outfits.  Loving her version of armor!

~ Although Charming is giving her a run for her money with that sweet cloak . . .

~ I love Granny.

~ In fact, new rule.  When Granny is awesome, we toast!  (I wonder how many rules we'll have by the time this show ends . . . )

~ Rule #1!  Drink!

~ Famous last words, Charming.  Famous.  Last.  Words.

~ Fun fact: Grumpy is played by the guy who plays Pintel in Pirates. (the bald pirate who hangs with the one with the wooden eye)  How awesome is that?  And how did I miss it for a season and a half?  It's so obvious now that I know!

~ Nice comeback with the red pepper flakes crack, Regina.  I love that Emma is trying to include her.  I really think Cora's going to end up being the arch-villain here and a big chunk of the story is going to be Regina's redemption.  And I like that.

~ See?  See?  With the getting mad thing and then immediately regretting it thing and the apologizing thing?  Regina's not evil, she's just a little twisted.  Cora though . . . she is all sorts of messed-up-crazy-evil.

~ As evidenced by that line right there.

~ For the record, Regina is totally justified in being mad at Cricket Man.

~ PhD awarded by a curse . . . that's kind of a brilliant line, not gonna lie.

~ Dude, Charming's FTL outfit this episode just reeks of fairy tale manliness.  :-)

~ Where is this in the timeline exactly?  Post-wedding, pre-pregnant with Emma?  Or pre-wedding?  I wish they were clearer about things like that.

~ Calling it.  That's Cora, not Regina.

~ What did I tell you?  I love it when I'm right, lol.

~ If Jiminy is dead, it will completely ruin the Pinocchio family reunion that has to be coming because I said so.  The one that has to happen EVEN THOUGH WE STILL HAVEN'T SEEN AUGUST YET AND HAVE NO IDEA WHERE HE IS!!! GAH!!!!!!

~ CALL HIM GRANDPA, HENRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ No, No, NO!  I refuse to believe in the death of the Cricket!!!!  TEAM ARCHIE LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ Ooooh, some father/daughter good cop/bad cop.  Nice!

~ FTL Regina looks so young without her hair all fancified.  You know, in the original (the super old one) the stepmother isn't that much older than Snow White.  It's logical to think that it's the same case here.

~ So is Rumplilocks going to save Regina or is she going to disapperate herself?

~ Didn't see that coming . . . interesting call, Snow.

~ I'm intrigued.  Snow saved Regina because she remembered her being good . . . but Mary Margaret condemns her because she remembers her being evil.  Fascinating.  I love this show!

~ Yay, we get some Belle!!

~ And some Rumplilocks wit.  This episode is officially as awesome as usual.

~ Or they could, you know, have Ruby talk to Pongo.  Then they wouldn't have to use magic.  Why are they overlooking the obvious?

~ The dream catcher effect is nice though.

~ I suppose it would have been a little too convenient if Pongo could see through dark magic disguises, wouldn't it?

~ Wait, where did they find more fairy dust?

~ Wait, if the king is dead and Regina has been more or less deposed, shouldn't Snow and Charming be King and Queen, not Prince and Princess?

~ Okay, so we're still pre-wedding.  But the question stands as far as Snow's concerned.

~ Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad idea, Snow!

~ Told ya so.

~ That was interesting.

~ Wait, if they've got the protection spell against Regina, shouldn't that have blocked the curse from even happening?

~ See, see?  She called it her kingdom?  Why isn't she Queen?

~ Other than, you know, the whole cultural connotation of Princess = good, Queen = bad and the whole stupid Madonna/Whore dichotomy . . . but that's a rant we shan't be getting into today.

~ Ummmmm . . . at least they tried?

~ So . . . I'm guessing that now's just about the right time for Cora to make her appearance.  Right after the commercial, I mean.

~ Awwwwww, Charming is so sweet!!  (and hot, but I suppose that's unrelated at the moment)

~ Okay, now is the perfect moment for Cora to show up.

~ I want Regina's FTL wardrobe.  That is all.

~ Rumplilocks, I see your loophole, but isn't the curse technically harming Snow and Charming?

~ I don't get your umbrella, Cora, but I like it.

~ Is Milha on the ship?  Or Bae?

~ OR AUGUST?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

~ Okay, clearly I never would have guessed it was Jiminy.  But I told you he wasn't dead, didn't I?

~ So . . . good question, Hook.  Who is dead?

~ ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

These people really know where to end an episode, don't they?  Gah!  Counting down the minutes until next week . . .


P. ost  S. cript
Can we just take a moment to remember how awesome this movie is?  Because seriously, it's pretty fun.  It's tragic, really, the way you don't see much of it anymore.  (anyone who mentions the live action crap will face a fate the likes of which Cora would come up with, lol.)

Shoppocrites

So who's been shopping in the last twelve hours?  Yeah, not me.

I've gone Black Friday shopping exactly once, and while it's not something I would do again, I did not have a terrible time.  I did find myself getting up at 5:00 in the morning when I didn't get home from work until after midnight . . . what can I say, people do crazy things when they're in crush.  (I myspace blogged all about it . . . I may have to post it sometime, it's one of the more amusing ones.)

Anyway.  My little excursion was back when Black Friday was just insane. not indecent.  Yeah, have you heard about that?  About the part where Black Friday starts Thursday morning now?  In a nutshell, I agree with everything everyone has been saying.  Greedy, thoughtless, inappropriate and really not fair to the minimum wage peons who have no choice but to skip Thanksgiving and show up in order to make sure there's still something to eat on Saturday.

But on the other hand . . . I don't really have a lot of patience for the people saying it's not right.  If the whole "biting my tongue" thing were literal I'm pretty sure I would have bitten it off by now because I've watched at least half a dozen conversations happen on facebook where friends posted a status about wanting to have a low key Thanksgiving and what should they do - and the answers poured in.  Go out to eat.  Go to a movie.  Go out and eat pizza or at Taco Bell or whatever and at the end, yay for you, no cooking and no big clean up job!

I'm sorry, where is the outrage for the people at the restaurant who don't get to spend Thanksgiving with their family because you're too lazy to cook?  What about the anger for the employees of the movie theater who have to leave their turkey early so you can go to your movie?  Why am I apprently the only one who thinks that's just as wrong?

It's just so amazing how good humanity is at dehumanizing people when we don't want to be considerate of others.  I mean, how's this for an actual thing to overhear - "I would never go out to eat on Thanksgiving.  Those poor people deserve to have the day off and be with their families too."

Said whilst the speaker was at Walt Disney World.  On Thanksgiving.  Where I was working.  On Thanksgiving.  Apparently her level of consideration went beyond retail workers to include waitresses and cooks . . . but I was still just a robot.  Because apparently any job that involves something you aren't doing on a holiday is a travesty, but if it involves the way you want to celebrate then forget your right to celebrate a holiday you minimum wage peon, get over here and get me my churro!

Not to mention it goes without saying that the fact that all these restaurants and theaters and stores are open is the whole reason why Luke has had to work almost every holiday for the last four years.  Where's the indignation about the fact that with all these places open the tech support places have to be open because heaven forbid something happens to those places internet or cable.

Obviously a line in the sand has been drawn, but I can't say that it's the right place in the sand, or even an effective place.  If people working at Walmart want to strike, all power to them.  But as long as there's a double standard where it's okay for some people not to get to spend Thanksgiving or Christmas or whatever at home the way they want to but not for others, I don't see anything changing.  Give it a few more years and stores will be open for normal hours all day on Thanksgiving.  And the only people who will have holidays off will be the people with the cushy corner office jobs, or the paper pushing cubicle drones who work at places that don't sell anything so it doesn't make a difference whether there open on any one particular day.

Because seriously, how hypocritical is that people will protest stores being open on Thanksgiving, but there's nothing wrong with people who work at hotels having to go to work?  Why is it okay that pilots and flight attendants spend the day taking others to be with their families, but not getting to be with their own?  I mean, obviously emergency personnel need to be on call just in case . . . but why do news anchors have to show up?  Either the holiday is for everyone or it's not.  And I'm thinking anymore they're just . . . not.



P. ost  S. cript
So apparently this is what English sounds like to people who don't speak it.  It's nothing but gibberish, but your brain keeps trying to make sense of it - I keep hearing actual words . . . pizza, cold, ice, my eyes . . . it's kinda crazy awesome.

Not Ashamed

Nano update: so far so good, as of yesterday I was even a little ahead of where I needed to be.  But today there's a bit of writer's block going, and I'm pretty sure it's partially rant induced, so I'm getting it out.  (you know my motto - blogging is cheaper than therapy.  plus I'm not sure this quite qualifies as needing therapy.)  At the moment I haven't even decided if this post will ever even see the light of day . . .

Anyway.


I didn't vote yesterday.  I didn't vote early.  I didn't vote at all.

It's not because I don't care.  It's not that I didn't know who to vote for.  It's not even because I didn't want to.  (okay, it kind of is that last one.  a little.)

It's because there is absolutely nothing in the world more pointless than voting in Utah.

Nothing.

I know I'm far from the first person to rant about the electoral college and it's uselessness and the way it nullifies more than half the votes cast . . . but it really drives me nuts to think that such an archaic, deliberately biased system is still in place.

I mean, think about it.  In a rational world, a world where American politicians elected to offices higher than, oh, mayor-ish were capable of thinking of anything other than themselves it would work like this (metaphorically speaking): everyone would get a card.  Red or blue.  Or green or orange or pink because in this world those other cards would actually be relevant.  You pick the color you want and you send it to Washington DC and it's put in a stack with all the other cards of that color.  And in the end whoever has the tallest stack of cards wins.  152 red cards?  Awesome.  153 blue cards?  You lose, red.  Every vote counts, every single solitary card makes a difference because it contributes to the whole stack.

But instead we have this -

Every state gets a bucket of water.  Every person gets to put one drop of food coloring in the water, red or blue.  In the end, some buckets are deep crimson or sapphire.  Some buckets are decidedly fuchsia or plum shaded.  But there are only two trucks to load the buckets in, so a fuchsia bucket get put in the same truck as a crimson one, and a plum buckets goes with the sapphires.  49 blue drops and 51 red drops?  Is the exact equivalent as 100 red drops.

Seriously, how does anyone actually believe their individual vote matters?

I mean, sure, in some states you are going to have a very purple shade, and in that case your one drop might just make the difference between fuchsia and plum . . . but then there's Utah, and all the other states like it.  The states that get 99 red (or blue) drops.  And I'm supposed to believe that my one red drop will make the bucket any more crimson?  Or that my one blue drop will give it even the slightest hint of purple-ish-ness?  No.  It doesn't.  Even a toddler could see that.  So what's the point?

(this is the point where people with jump in with "but the local races!!!!!!!!" which in some places might strike me as a valid argument.  but here . . . I don't see my vote making any difference in those races either)

It's twenty-freaking-twelve.  How is this possible?  Four years ago I was blown away by all the presidential commercials I was seeing on tv.  I'd never seen one before.  I was twenty-four years old and I honestly hadn't even known they existed before that year.  I don't remember what I thought, you hear all the talk about having to give candidates equal airtime and regulations and whatever, and I guess I just figured commercials weren't allowed for presidential candidates because they got all the air time on the news and such.

And then this year.  Not in Florida anymore, something seemed off for the longest time and I couldn't place it until a couple of months ago.  The commercials were gone.  Not a single presidential commercial to be seen.  Anywhere.  Meanwhile, today is the first day in who knows how many months that people in Ohio have seen a commercial that wasn't political.  And I'm supposed to think this is okay?  I don't think so. 

And then there was watching the results come in last night.  Which I'd never done before, but Luke wanted to so we made pizza-and-a-movie night into pizza-and-the-news night.  Going in I did have a bit of a clue what was going on, in fact I'd heard on the radio yesterday morning that Ohio, Virginia, and Florida were the keys and if Romney didn't get at least one of them he didn't have a prayer.  So we're watching, and none of those three have come in and then all the sudden Ohio comes in and somehow it's all over and done with and I'm like "wait a second, he could still get one of the others" but no, apparently they didn't actually matter either.  I mean, they hadn't even finished counting . . . even in those states that just twelve hours ago had been so critical.  The votes in those states could literally not have been counted and it wouldn't have changed a thing - and they're supposed to be the ones who count the most!  (and let's just ignore the hypocrisy in the fact that a statement like that could even exist in a country that supposedly believes "all men are created equal.")

Of course, there's also the part where the polls weren't even closed in Alaska and Hawaii when the whole thing was declared officially over.  So, you know, go on home guys.  It's not like we need you or anything, you know?  We're not waiting until it's 5:00 in the morning in New York to find out who wins!

Someday, heaven willing, we want to live in a state where it's a matter of a fuchsia bucket versus a plum bucket, rather than crimson versus sapphire.  Then?  I will vote, and gladly.  Until then . . . I see no point.


P. ost  S. cript
I decided to go ahead and hit that orange button . . . so here's a palate cleanser before you all tell me what a terrible person I am.  (fun fact: I have actually met a slightly disturbing number of people with these very names!)

So Here It Is

Soooooooooooooooooo . . . it's practically November.  And I did not forget my New Year's Resolution.  Which means it's, like, time to start.  Thursday.

Oh boy.

Now that it's here I am SO anxious.  I have a story line that I'm pretty sure is decent enough.  My main characters are about as fleshed out as they can get without actually writing anything about them.  Heck, I've even got my multiple word count widgets over there >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> so everybody can keep track of how it's going.  Because you're all totally going to be waiting with baited breath to see the word count every day.  Lol.

On the other hand . . . talk about rotten timing with the whole adding-a-potentially-lengthy-presidency-meeting-every-week thing.  Blargh.

Also: I've only done 50,000 words once.  Granted, I have done it, so do at least have an idea of what I'm in for.  But only once, it was seven years ago, and it took an entire semester.  I suppose a semester isn't all that much more than a month . . . but it feels like a lot more.

And then there's the part where I have to type it all in the first place (because counting each and every hand-written word just isn't going to happen).  Not sure how that's going to go.  My hands are itching to grab a luxuriously thick-inked, brightly colored gel pen and get going - but my pile of notebooks shall remain empty this time.  Sad day.

Anyway.  Starting this weekend I'll be going into hiding (well, even more, I guess I should say).  Feel free to start taking bets on whether I'll even survive. :-)

See you on the other side.



P. ost  S. cript
Here's hoping I retain this much sanity come December 1.

Once Upon a YAY!

Of course, one could argue that it wasn't her stepmother because Abigail obviously didn't marry James, and Catherine and David only thought they were married . . . but I suppose that might be splitting hairs a little, no?


So in case you missed the memo - or the zillions of commercials - ONCE UPON A TIME IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In case you missed the other memo - which would pretty easy since it wasn't exactly widely published - I got really confused last season trying to have multiple conversations with different people every week.  So we're all having them here.  Kayla, Miranda, Sarah, Shayla (maybe) . . . dang, I feel like quite the odd one out.  Someone out there with an -ee ending name better be watching this too! :-)  Anyway, introductions and pleasantries are done with, on with the fun.

As I have a little while yet before the show starts, here's where things stand:

>> Charming/David is hot.

>> Huntsman/Graham is hot, has a to-die-for accent, and better actually be dead.  Unless they have some sort of really amazing work-around to explain him showing up in non-flashbacks he absolutely cannot come back in the present, curse-broken story line.  The idea that there are no consequences in FairyTaleLand when something happens here totally ruins the whole thing.

>> FairyTaleLand shall be known as FTL because that's a lot faster to type.

>> TEAM EMMOCHIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>> Geppetto shall be referred to as Bra'tac around here.  Because I can.  (Bray-tack)

>> The second Emma's car starts acting like it's alive is the second I turn off the tv.

>> Red/Ruby is as awesome as they get.

>> Mr. Gold shall be known as Rumplilocks.  Because it amuses me.


And now - FINALLY! - the main event!


~ That is one very close-up shot of a horse.

~ Well we're just getting right into new mysteries, aren't we?

~ Monument Valley much?

~ Ooooooooooh, another hot accent!

~ I wish aurora's actress had died her hair.  She's supposed to look like me!  (well . . . kinda . . . ish . . . )

~ Trippiest. Reuinion. Ever.

~ The dwarves certainly found each other fast.

~ How weird would be it to suddenly realize not only did you have a kid that you didn't know about, but that she was your age you also had a grandkid?  And he's ten?

~ "Grandpa?"  AWKWARD!!!  Me?  Actually lol'ing.

~ Trust Grumpy to get straight to the point. :-)

~ "Great, let's watch."  I heart Grumpy.

~ I really want "The Mob Song" from Beauty and the Beast to play in the background right now.

~ From the things you see coming a mile away file: that soldier dude's totally going to turn out to be a chick.  Which means it's probably Mulan.

~ Betcha that amulet is the new book, if you know what I mean.

~ (commercial: Natalie Portman for Dior perfume.  Have you seen the pictures of her with her hair dyed blonde?  Trippy.)

~ (commercial: Campbell's soup.  Who the heck hangs a deer head in a dance studio?  Other than maybe my dad?)

~ Well, there go the theories that Dr. Whale would be on Regina's side.  I thought they were dumb anyway.

~ *insert sad trombone noise here*  Poor powerless queen, ha!

~ Wait, so she totally destroyed FTL?  That sucks if it's true.

~ I love scenes between Rumplilocks and Regina.

~ Called it on Mulan.

~ So . . . it's called a wraith like in Lord of the Rings . . . but it acts like a dementor from Harry Potter?  May those Herbie the Love Bug theories weren't that off the mark.  (but they better be)

~ That is one shiny dagger that bodes no good.

~ So that's what happened to the Smoke Monster . . . (only five points.  That's the most obvious reference on the planet.)

~ (commercial: some car or other.  Kick the car and the back door opens?  Kinda genius)

~ (commercial: Cinderella on blu-ray.  What is up with the weird wrong-voice overdubs?  Disney fail!)

~ (commercial: is it just me or has this election been going on since I graduated from high school?  So. Sick. Of. It. All.)

~ Wait, where's Ruby going?  I didn't like the sound of that . . .

~ "One night stands?!"  "We were cursed!"  Most awkward parental conversation ever!  I'm rather cracking up.  The look on Charming's face . . . HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

~ This hole situation has got to be seriously messed up for Emma psychologically speaking.

~ So Emma argues that if they hadn't sent her away she would have been cursed with them but they would have been together.  Am I the only one who's first thought was "ummmmmm, no?"

~ Can't decide if I like Phillip or not.  He's got a Graham-ish look to him, but . . . I just don't know.

~ Punch him, Emma!  Do it!!

~ That seriously looks like Oceanic 815 is coming down on Storybrooke.  (dude, it's the same people.  y'all better just get use to the Lost references.)

~ I'm getting some very Twilight-ish vibes from Rumplilock's and Belle's relationship future, and I don't like it.  At least she walked out this time.

~ Speaking of bad vibes, I don't recall any announcements about casting someone for Shang.  Here's hoping that's not how things roll.

~ Very clever putting Aurora in a purple-ish dress, but I'm with Merryweather.  Make it blue.

~ That thing did not look unlike the banshee from Darby O'Gill and the Little People.  Just a little.

~ He calls her Snow, she calls him David.  Weird.

~ Something I forgot to mention with the little things at the beginning: Jefferson is hot too.

~ Torch from a broom . . . I love you, Prince Charming.

~ It's got to be so much fun playing the FTL version of the character in our world.  Especially as memories are coming back and such.  (see also, "One night stands?!?!"  Still laughing at that one.  Here's hoping the internet makes a gif of that reaction!)

~ (commercial: Disneyland for Halloween.  I find it an interesting choice to pair with this show.  Obviously it's a good demographic, but juxtaposing the animated characters with their OUaT counterparts . . . a little weird.)

~ Again with the best chance thing.  It's totally this show's version of "with great power comes great responsibility."

~ You know Regina, maybe it's not working because IT'S NOT YOUR HAT.  Duh.

~ Well that was unpleasant.  Bye Phillip.

~ Ladies and gentlemen, the most disappointing (and probably painful) face plant of all time.

~ Who wants to bet Snow and Charming get separated somehow every season and we get dozens of "I will always find you" scenes every season.

~ If they wrote Henry out of the show I'm gonna be ticked.  Especially if they took Ruby with him to do it.

~ Because having the amulet will make her feel so better about watching Phillip get dementored.

~ Oh good, there's Henry.

~ I like me some rage filled Prince James.

~ Walk in on adoptive mother about kill grandfather . . . and she still tries to convince him she's not evil.  I'm beginning to think Regina's less evil than just nuts.

~ And now we're Twilight-ing again.  I swear, if I have to start calling her Bella instead of Belle . . .

~ Yeah, that "you must leave" line was right out of the Edward Cullen playbook.  Dude, if they screw these two up, I swear . . .

~ I want Henry to call Charming "grandpa," like, all the time and watch Charming get all awkward.  He's cute when he's awkward.

~ "I will always find them."  Toldja so.  We're starting a drinking game, choose your drink of choice and every time Snow or Charming pulls that out we all take a collective swig.

~ I was wondering why we weren't seeing Aurora & Co in our world.  I wonder how their little corner only got frozen.  And if those were concurrent scenes instead of flashbacks, why was aurora asleep?  Back in the pilot episode Maleficent and Regina were talking and they totally made it sound like Aurora's story had already played out.  They traded the dark curse for the sleeping curse and it didn't work.

~ HOLY CRAP YOU CAN'T END THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  NOT!  FREAKING! OKAY!

Okay kids, what did we all think?  Me, I'm soooooooooo glad to see this show back!  Here's hoping for more one night stand moments and less constant finding each other.


P. ost  S. cript
 This just seems appropriate.  Fun fact:  Alice here has a friend who's also friends with Wendy (if you know what I mean)  and apparently she and the guy who's friends with Peter are kind of internet famous and they totally got married this summer.  How cute is that?!

Another Excursion into Anglophilia (And Alliteration!)

In which we visit once more why Lacey thinks other countries (specifically England) are pretty freaking cool and she needs to use that passport more.  Why?  Because OLYMPICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that's why.  (no time stamps on this one.  it's not the same when it starts at 6:30 in the evening your time.)

~ I love "Danny Boy."

~ Hey, it's "Guide Me O Thou Great Jehovah" again . . . except not only is it different words than the "MoTab" version, I'm pretty sure they're also different than the ones they sang at the royal wedding.  Color me confused.

~ Hello Kenneth Branagh.  You're my hero . . . even after sitting through a three-days long Hamlet. (it's really good . . . it just doesn't end!)

~ Soooooooooooooo . . . one of the Weird Sisters from Macbeth just called forth the Industrial Revolution.  Or something.

~ Yeah, those dudes in Dickens-y fancy pants garb doing totally modern dance moves was weirdly awesome.

~ Whoa . . . they're, like, dismantling the stage . . . crazy!!!

~ The fancy pants dancers are cracking me up.  Their facial expressions are spot on snooty-like but the moves just scream "word to your mother, yo."  At least in comparison.

~ Votes for women!!  Or, to quote Mrs. Banks from Mary Poppins, "though we adore men individually, we agree that as a group they're rather stupid."  The Sherman brothers?  Genius.

~ I still maintain that Americans should start wearing poppies in November again.  Who's with me?

~ Les Mis type costumes and STOMP type percussion (kinda).  Oddly . . . it works.

~ Well that's a lot of Beatles.

~ I want a floofy British admiral hat.

 ~ Apparently they're pumping the smell of sulphur into the stadium.  That totally makes me think of burning Rome.

~ Olympic rings on fire?  Do we have a Hunger Games reference going on here?

~ HOLY CRAP THE FIRE RINGS ARE RAINING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  AND IT IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ I feel the need to clarify: the fire not raining fire.  Just normal raining.

~ Just had to close the window.  What moron mows the lawn during the Olympics Opening Ceremony? (see also: when it's still a gazillion degrees outside?)

~ Hello James Bond.  I've been looking forward to this part for ages.

~ Corgis are cute.  If we got a dog, it would be a corgi.

~ Hello Your Majesty.

~ This part must have been so fun to film.

~ Goodbye cute corgis.

~ Living Churchill statue . . . little weird, not gonna lie.

~ Cool, the Queen arrives by helicopter.

~ HOLY CRAP THE QUEEN JUST JUMPED OUT OF A HELICOPTER.

~ LIKE, FOR REALS Y'ALL, QUEEN ELIZABETH II IS PARACHUTING INTO THE STADIUM TO THE JAMES BOND THEME.

~ I feel like I should have used a "bloody" in there somewhere.

~ It's so encouraging how I can still catch about half of what they're saying in French.  So glad the French is first.

~ Why, hello Cambridges. :-)

~ Dude, go back to the signing/singing kids stupid camera people!

~ There's more than one verse to "God Save the Queen"?  Who knew?

~ You show the wedding without commercials, but you can't show the opening ceremony without commercials?  File under: you suck, tv executives.

~ Second to the right?  As in star?  I like where this is going . . .

~ Dancing nurses . . . that is not where I thought this was going . . .

~ Team Jayla just texted me that they want glowing bed sheets now.  Gotta say, I'm kinda with them on that.

~ OMG, IT'S JO ROWLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I LOVE YOU JO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ That is one creeeeeeeeeeeepy Captain Hook . . .

~HOLY HE-WHO-SHALL-NOT-BE-NAMED

~ 100 foot tall Voldemort.  Great.  Merciful.  Crap.

~ That's a lot of Mary Poppins . . . 's.

~So Voldemort just pulled a Wicked Witch of the West.  Way to salute American lit there, lol.

~ And now . . . we all a jig on our glowing beds?  Count me in!

~ Giant kid on giant glowing bed . . . *blink blink* . . . creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy.

~ Commercials comparing football to the Olympics?  The commentators are doing a bunch better job this time around, but I do believe the battle cry this time around shall be: You suck, Tv execs.

~ That is an appropriately wild hairdo for a symphony conductor.  I approve.

~ Is that a Mr. Bean I see? :-)

~ Maybe this will make up for the lack of tree-climbing-and-kitty-saving Luke was hoping for last year.

~ Can't . . . breath . . . laughing . . . at . . . phone . . . thing . . .

~ Man, I miss being in a symphony!

~ Lol, I'd have gotten a car too.

~ Saw that ending coming. :-)

~ Meredith Viera just said, "I'm not sure what kind of musician he is, but he has pretty nice legs, I must say," about Rowan Atkinson.  Not sure how I feel about that . . .

~ Dear Pizza Hut: you sound really good right about now.  Especially your breadsticks, a.k.a. the most nostalgic tasting food known to man.  Or at least to me.

~ I'm a big fan of the internet and all (obviously) but this tribute to the internet thing . . . not as much fun as some of the other stuff.

~ On the other hand, I'm always a fan of anything that glows. (care to guess what decade I was born in, lol?)

~ Did girls really wear splash down capsules as dresses in the 60s?  You people were higher than I thought . . .

~ Random only sort of related thing: we all went in together and got mom and dad Rock Band and Beatles Rock Band for Christmas a couple of years ago.  The only time it's played is when we're all home.  Guess who doesn't play.

~ BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY FOR THE WIN!!!!! (too bad the Muppets are American)

~ Psychedelic glowing neon smiley faces.  Yay 80s!!

~ This would be the part where I register my anger and resentment about the lack of Spice Girls.  But they're performing at the closing ceremony, so it's all good.

~ Okay, those were not all British kisses. (see: Lady and the Tramp and Wall-E)  Cheaters.  Points for Will and Kate though.

~ There are people wearing checkered body suits.  Clearly, they got the short end of the costume stick.

~ Fireworks off the Tower Bridge?  Sweet!  Also - I love the rings they've had hanging from the bridge.  Awesome.

~ Hello David Beckham.  You're hot.

~ Jokes about Bob What's-his-butt jumping off the back of the boat to join them in imitation of Her Majesty Queen Helicopter Jumper?  You made it quite a ways but . . . shut up, commentators.

~ Side note since it's commercials: I used to think Bob What's-his-butt's only job was commentating the Olympics because that was the only time I ever saw him on tv.  It was kind of weird to fins out he actually, like, did stuff in between too.  We?  Are not a sports family.

~ Parade of nations!  Yay!!  And yes, I'm totally sticking around for this.

~ Interviews?  With Ryan Seacrest?  Instead of opening ceremony stuff?!  You suck, tv execs.

~ Yeah, yeah, Michael Phelps is more fish than human and needs to swim faster, blah, blah, blah.  Get back to the good stuff already.  We've heard this all before.

~ Oh, you did not just come back from commercial only for a Phelps interview and then go back to commercial.  You SUCK, tv execs!

~ Now we're talking.  I like to see how many flags I can recognize without help. :-)

~ Yeah, totally only know Afghanistan because they're alphabetically first.

~ Those are some really funky country name signs/headresses they're using.

~ Hello shirtless Samoans. :-)

~ I would totally be one of those athletes carrying my camera and recording the whole thing.  And I would sooooooooooooooooo love to see some of that video on youtube.

~ Just got a close up of the outfits the country-name-headdress-bearers are wearing.  I get the idea behind them . . . but holy crap, those poor unfortunate souls are by far the ones who lost the costume Olympics.  By far.

~ Yay Australia!  Send me a kangaroo steak! (those are seriously tasty)

~ It's really sad that a bunch of them can't march in the parade because they have early events the next day.  They should do something about that . . . make the ceremony a day before events start instead of the night before or something.  I would not want to have to skip that.

~ Really like the Belgian girls' outfits.

~ Belize.  I giggled.  Thanks Katie. ;-)

~ Bhutan!  I am totally falling in love with that country - so pretty and fascinating.  And did you see pictures from the other royal wedding last year (well, one of them)?  GORGEOUS! Bride, and national dress.

~ I certainly recognize Brazil's flag.  And I'm pretty sure I've seen much larger groups of Brazilians.  I'm twitching just thinking about it.

~ Brewn-eye.  So that's how you say it.

~ We're cheering aboot Canada, eh?  Or is it aboat Canada . . . eh? :-)

~ Love their jackets.

~ It's Cape "Verd"?  Not "Vair-day"?

~ Czech Republic team wearing bright blue wellies.  I love it!

~ Kim Jong-Il jokes?  Seriously?  Shut up Bob What's-your-butt.

~ Can I just go on record as saying Djibouti is just plain fun to say?

~ "Staying Alive" for background music?  I love England!  And clearly the Finns do too - but I'm guessing that's just because they get some of the most awesome walk-in music ever.

~ VIVE LA FRANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ I wonder how many people get confused when Georgia marches in . . .

~ Holy nursery colors, Germany!  Is this the day care Olympics?

~ I have a friend who knows the flag bearer from Grenada.  That's, like, two degrees of Kevin Bacon from me to the Olympics.

~ Okay, the visa or whatever commercial where they act like the London games took place, like a year ago or something has been playing for, like, six months.  And driving me nuts from day one.  Seriously, referring to an event that takes place in the future using the past tense?  Epic.  Fail.

~ Are those Panama hats team Hong Kong is wearing?  Shouldn't they be wearing Hong Kong hats?

~ Independent Olympic Athletes?  Is this a new thing? They're totally having the best time though - that is the way to march in this parade!

~ India!  I want a sari . . . so pretty . . . and also the hair of an Indian girl.

~ Am I allowed to say hijabs can also be really pretty?  Because some of these ones totally are.

~ Jamaica + Olympics = Lacey thinks Cool Runnings.

~ Kiribati is pronounced Kiribas?  Never would have gotten that.

~ Did you really have to mention the movies when Madagascar came in?  Seriously?  Shut up, commentators.

~ Fun fact in case you missed it: one of the Malaysian shooters is, like, 34 weeks pregnant or somewhere like that and even if she doesn't win she'll set the record for most pregnant Olympian ever.

~ And Mexico has one of the most epic wins in the team uniform department . . .

~ Nauru?  There's one I haven't heard of . . .

~ What are those flowers team Netherlands is wearing?

~ Kia Ora, New Zealand!  And . . . that's all the Maori I know.  And now I want some kiwi.  Fruit, not bird.  Or people.  But kiwi birds are really cute.

~ Team Oman looks like Christmas carolers.

~ The Philippines flag is getting all twisted around the pole.  Now the color guard girl in me is twitching.

~ In Soviet Russia, camera shows you . . . not the politicians, stupid cameraman.  No one cares, go back to the people we want to see.

~ It's Nee-vis?  Not Neh-vis?  The things you learn when you finally hear things said out loud.

~ Dear Samoa: you should have followed the example of American Samoa and had the guys go shirtless.

~ Dear Senegal: that is a very bright shade of yellow.  I love it.

~ Seriously, African and Caribbean countries have the best national costumes.  LOVE the bright colors!

~ Hello again, Cambridges.You are obviously not from Seychelles . . . but that's okay. :-)

~ One of the Solomon Islands dude is rocking the most fabulous blue and yellow goatee I've ever seen.  Also the only blue and yellow goatee I've ever seen.

~ Spain looks a little like a walking McDonald's commercial . . . but I love the girls' flowered headbands.

~ Sri Lanka makes beige look good . . .

~ It totally won't happen, but I want "Dancing Queen" to play when Sweden marches in a second.

~ At this point it occurs to me that Team USA is probably really glad that U comes at the end of the alphabet so they don't have to stand there the whole times everyone else is marching in.  Poor Greece.

~ Dear Tonga: too many white guys, not enough shirtless guys.  Points for the lava lavas though.

~ Holy crap Turkey's flag bearer is GORGEOUS!

~ Wide shot of all the countries who've already come in.  I wonder if they're as squished together as they look.

~ USA! USA! USA!

~ 529 people . . . compared to one for some countries.  Crazy.

~ Not a fan of those hats . . .

~ Okay, let's move on now.  There have been, like, three more countries coming in.  How self-centered can you get? (oh the things one could answer to that . . . )

~ Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Zambia.  MAde it through the alphabet kids. :-)

~ TEAM GB! TEAM GB! TEAM GB!

~ You know, I didn't notice it before but I think the crowd in the stadium was getting bored.  I noticed because they just woke up, lol.

~ Holy Glitter Girl flashbacks, Ashli!

~ All those flags on the hill?  Awesome.

~ So apparently that was a record short time for the parade of nations.  I wouldn't say it felt shorter, but the music was so upbeat it's only natural that people walked faster.  Take note, Sochi and Rio!

~ Wait, wait, wait!  Grimm comes back as soon as the Olympics are over, but Once Upon a Time doesn't come back until the end of September?!?!  YOU SUCK TV EXECS!

~ Glow in the dark butterflies . . . I approve.

~ "Dove of peace on a bicycle rising into the air" . . . yeah, I just see ET.

~ And now we're to the speechifying.  Yawn.

~ Hello Your Majesty.  Would you do us the favor of jumping out of a freaking helicopter again?

~ One supposes fireworks will do.

~ Dude, that hill of flags is seriously AMAZING.

~ Hello again David Beckhot.

~ How awkward would it be if one of these torches went out for some reason?

~ I feel guilty for not knowing The Tempest since there's been all these references to it tonight.

~ That's a lot of torches.  I like where they're going with this.  I loved how Vancouver did it.  Too bad about the malfunction.

~ Now that is lovely . . . it's like - holy floating lights!  This is so cool!

~ Yeah, I totally just forgot what I was about to say.

~ City full of fireworks.  That's my kind of thing.

~ I love the audience as LED screen thing.  It's even better than the wave.  And the wave is pretty sweet to begin with.

~ What do want to bet that a buncha people would have quit watching hours ago except they put Paul McCartney at the end?

~ World's biggest sing along.  Is there anyone who doesn't know the words to "Hey Jude"?

~ Also, I'm pretty sure the only song in the world that is more endless is the song that doesn't end.  I mean, you can just keep going with the na-na-nas pretty much as long as you want, you know?  For. Ev. Er.

~ It's over!

Well.  That was awesome.  Beijing was stunning, and I think we all know that it will never be topped.  But this was just plain fun.  And shall always be remembered as the Olympics where the Queen of England jumped out of a helicopter.  So.  Cool.

So . . . yeah.  Basically our TV will not be turning off for the next couple of weeks.  Like, at all.  I shall get my fill and then not watch another sporting event for two years.  As they shall be saying, see you in Sochi. 



P. ost  S. cript
Just a daughter's daughter adoring the awesome.

That By Which We Call A Rose (Serves to Further Demonstrate What a Nerd I Am)

Allow me to put forth a theory/opinion: it is harder to name characters than it is actual babies.

Allow to me clarify: (beginning, of course, with some apparently random and unrelated tangent-like back story) in college I took a play writing class.  My professor was pretty awesome, and among other things she gave us a character bio outline handout full of facts/traits/questions/whatever that one should figure out/make up/discover/whatever for each important character early on.  Among the things on the list is the character's age and birthday including the year.  Something that seems really rather obvious, but that I'd never done so specifically before. (actually random unrelated tangent: I sometimes make up characters I'm 97% sure I will never use anywhere just because I think it's fun to fill out these character bios.)

Anyway.  Even before that class I always tried to make my names fit the character's age.  For example - a great-grandmother named Britney Ladashla?  Yeah.  Right.  But Dora Elizabeth?  Well, that was one of my actual great-grandmother's name.  And it just sounds right, doesn't it?  It's a grandma name - it just is.  So I went by the old lady-or-newborn sounding test.  And I suppose it more or less worked.  But you can never underestimate the ability of someone as nerdy as myself to take something like that to the next level. 

So then the internet happened.  Or rather, the no-longer-living-at-home-with-the-archaicly-dinosaur-iffic-tortoise-dial-up-internet-connection-until-two-thousand-freaking-six thing happened.  And the discovery-of-gajillions-of-baby-name-websites thing happened.  And the some-of-them-have-baby-name-popularity-rankings-for-the-last-over-a-hundred-years thing happened.  So naturally the Lacey-entertains-herself-by-looking-up-random-names-and-their-ranking-charts thing happened.  And, obviously, the using-those-sites-and-charts-to-name-characters thing wasn't very far behind . . . and now my method is to figure out the character's birthday, look up the popular names for that year, and pick something from the bottom two thirds or so of the top 100.  It works pretty perfectly, I find a name that feels and sounds spot on but still isn't a girl named Emma who was born in 2001 - if you know what I mean.

Okay, so here's the part where I start coming back around to my point or whatever.  As I've been playing around on various name sites and such I've been noticing how very . . . I don't know, "locked" some names are.

Case in point: Jessica.  A name said to be created by Shakespeare himself for (I think) The Merchant Of Venice, now it is the most quintessential of all the quintessential 80s names.  Even though it stayed in the top 5 from 1977 to 1997 it practically reeks 1987, smack dead center.  Think about it: when was the last time you heard about someone naming their newborn Jessica?  I'm willing to bet it's been at least ten years.  And on the end of the spectrum, Jessica is soooooooooooooo not an old lady name.  Unless, I suppose, you're an old lady who spends every day solving the latest murder in Cabot Cove, Maine.  (ten points if you get the reference . . . and minus a trillion for any comments on the fact that I could name the town off the top of my head.)

But people within five-ish years either way of my age with the name Jessica?  They're all over the place.  In elementary school there were exactly two names that ever had duplicates in my class: Sarah and Jessica.  I don't know what it is, but somehow it seems like the name got stuck in a time capsule, especially compared to other 80s names.  Sarah had timelessness going for it in the first place; Jennifers have used reinventions like Jen and Jenna to stay current sounding; Elizabeth had surpassed timelessness into obviousness . . . and then there's a handful of names that blipped big and died and will always be at least somewhat associated with big hair and neon and Madonna's cone bra phase - Jessica . . . Tiffany . . . Ashley.  (I feel like I should do the whole full disclosure thing here: I personally love the name Jessica.  And I have a cousin named Jessica.  And a sister named Ashli.  I like to wonder what my extended family name map would look like if there were as many girl cousins as there are boys.)

And here's where the harder-to-name-a-character-than-an-actual-baby thing comes in.  A person's name isn't just a reflection of who they are . . . it's also a major statement about the personality of the person/people who named them (by which I mean the character's mother . . . not me.  confused yet?).  A fictional person's name choice is likely to define that person very differently than a real life counterpart.  I have a daughter and name her Jessica?  I picked a pretty name I like that's become uncommon so she won't have to share it with classmates.  My character's mother names her daughter (born in 2006) Jessica?  She's an 80s baby who doesn't actually remember much of the 80s and tries to compensate by making everything in her life as 80s-tastic as possible . . . she considered naming her daughter Leia Buttercup - or maybe Sloan Claire (ten points for each reference, lol . . . well, five points for the first two).  My mother and aunt name their daughters Ashli and Jessica?  They picked cute, girly names they liked that just happened to be liked by the vast majority of the baby-having population at the time.  My character's mother names her daughter (born in 1989) Jessica?  She's a hopeless trend-follower desperate for any sort of popularity . . . her name is probably Lisa or Karen or Patricia (all top ten names in the 60s . . . no comment on certain other top names in that list).

In this particular case it's not that big a deal, the story I'm formulating has both mother and daughter as main characters, so I'm doing a thorough background bio on the mom anyway.  Of course, her name requires a bit of a dip into her mother's psyche . . . and before you know it I'm wondering where Eve came up with "Seth."

And therein lies why characters are harder: I didn't have to name myself.


P. ost  S. cript
So this is totally shopped out the wazoo . . . but it's still pretty awesome.

Looking for Something to Say

Ever have that feeling that you want to talk to someone but you just can't think of anything to say?  That pretty much explains my blog absence for the last little while, which a few people have mentioned/questioned.  Sorry, it's just been one great big "I've have nothing to add to that" moment around here.  I still love the kids at school (except for the days when I can't stand them), there's nothing monumental going on in our lives (unless you count Luke's schedule changing so he gets off at 10 instead of midnight, which we see as kind of a big deal), and I haven't had any particularly philosophical moments to ramble on about (a side effect of end-of-the-year burnout, I'm thinking).

So I suppose this post is mostly just to assure everyone that we're still alive . . . and also (just a little) to celebrate the wonderful feeling you get when you discover that lots of people agree with you on something when you thought you were the only one who felt that way.  Shockingly, I'm not in the mood to rant (I must be really burned out!) but maybe I will be by the time comments start rolling in, lol.

Anyway.  I shall just make my two little points and leave you all to duke it out.  Or unfollow me, as the case may be. (although I hope that doesn't happen!)

I totally agree with this, it's kind of really horrible and probably is going to do more harm than good in the long run.  And some people really need to get this kind of grip on reality and stop judging people they don't even know.

And this?  Unnecessary, disrespectful to the artist, and more than a little hypocritical.

Well . . . it'll be nice to see who still talks to me this time next week, lol.


P. ost  S. cript
Title says it all.  The mind, she is boggled.

Royally Random

For the record, I still think it rocks.


~ So the book I'm currently reading is an inter-library loan.  From the Library of Congress.  I'm a little mind boggled.  I'll admit I don't know much about the LoC (and I'm too lazy at the moment to google its wikipedia page) but as I understood it, it was a library of important historical documents and stuff.  Things full of clues for cheesy Nicholas Cage characters.  Things used for research . . . not pleasure reading.  Now I'm picturing people wandering around like I do at the local library and picking out a stack of books and finally heading up to the desk to check them out and pulling out their LoC library card.  And I kind of want to do it.

~ I also kind of want to edit their wikipedia page to say that there is a secret family of green cats living in the walls. *wink*Katie*wink*

~ From the Securing-my-Place-in-the-Deepest-Circle-of-Hades File: something about the sacrament hymn we sang today reminds me of Bach's Toccata & Fugue.  Every time I hear it.  I don't think they're in the same key, but maybe close ones?  Anyway, when there's time for the instrumental playings because the priesthood passer dudes aren't ready yet (which usually happens, it's a shorter song) I totally feel like the scene is being set for some creepy happenings at an old abandoned castle in Eastern Europe.  I shan't name the hymn so as not to spoil it for anyone else but . . . yeah.  There it is.

~ Have you ever wondered what the world would be like today if Hitler had been accepted to that art school in Austria or wherever?

I get kind of bored sometimes when Luke's at work.

~ If (SPOILER ALERT) Pinocchio/August and Emma don't end up together by the end of the series, this show will totally be ruined for me.  As of about 30 minutes ago.

Also - if you aren't watching Once Upon a Time, how are we friends? :-)

~ So I relearned how to calculate the are of a triangle this week.  I had to relearn it because I sort of remembered, but I haven't used it since, like, 9th grade.  Sometimes it's kind of hard to resist telling the kids that they've learned everything they need to know about math as of third grade (as evidenced by the fact that I didn't have to relearn anything for third grade math, but I have for fourth and fifth).  Because seriously, when was the last time you used the quadratic equation?  The pythagorean theorem?  Who even remembers those formulas?  Or what they're used for? Believe I don't, I just remember their names.  Because they seriously made my life a living hell in high school and college.

Don't get me wrong, I see a little bit of a point to a basic instruction in algebra.  The idea of manipulating numbers according to what information you have in order to find what you need - that is useful.  As evidenced by the fact that on their homework nearly all of them missed 8 = y / 4 . . . but as soon as I switched it around to y / 4 = 8 they totally got it.  So the idea of taking a number out of anywhere and knowing about how to fill it in - good.  Memorizing a bunch of complicated formulas that can only be used for one specific thing that you're NEVER going to actually need to find in real life - the dumbest thing I've ever heard of.  Seriously, how often do you need to find the circumference of a right trapezoid?  Or the hypotenuse of a cubic sphere?

And yes, I know those are all totally screwy.  I'm just throwing out every piece of math vocab I remember.  I'm willing to bet it's as meaningless to most of you as it is to me. (Dad, you totally don't count.)  Anyway . . . coming off the soapbox . . .

~ From the Should-Have-Seen-it-Coming File: telling a couple of kids Luke's name when they asked and they immediately ask "is his last name Skywalker?"  And then mentioning that's how he got the name Luke.  And no more work was gotten out of those two that day.  (and yes, Katie, it was Eric and Mr. "Awk-werd!")

~ Our chain smoking downstairs neighbors are moving.  We'll be celebrating by opening out front windows for the first time ever pretty much the second the leave.  I am so excited.  Hopefully it'll be a little cooler this summer.

~ Birthday month starting Tuesday!!!  And I have an awesome husband who rolls his eyes and rolls with it.  Not that I, like, try to insist on a Mediterranean cruise or a trip to India or anything.  But we are soooooooooooooo going to Arctic Circle sometime this month.

I dream big. :-)


P. ost  S. cript
I might have posted this before.  But it's pretty much the musical equivalent of tilt shift, so that's okay.

Little Celebrations

Seriously. How does this happen?


So I'm sitting here marveling at the fact that this year is already a quarter of the way done already - and dude, when did that happen? - and thinking of how nice it will be to put this month behind me. Because it has not been particularly pleasant. No major catastrophes or anything, but lots of little things that have just piled up and piled up to make it a stressful month. Can I just say that whoever came up with the idea of kicking off April with spring break was a freaking genius? I know everyone is burned out and ready for this break.

But anyway. I'm taking today to celebrate one of the few little moments of win from this month. And to channel my inner dork . . . or perhaps just my inner Katie, as those of you who know her will see the parallel. :-)

Anyway.

So a couple of weeks ago we made our lovely little bi-annual trip to Layton to keep the warranty on the most expensive thing we own up to date. And since these trips are some of the few times we get a change of scene we like to make a bit of a day of it, always eating out somewhere that isn't an option around here like Jason's Deli or In'N'Out. And I always, ALWAYS get a large lemonade from Hot Dog on a Stick for the road. Because their lemonade is seriously the nectar of the gods. Even better than Chik-fil-a's lemonade, and we all know how awesome that stuff is, don't we? :-)

I have no idea exactly how big their large lemonades are . . . other than to say that one can use the restroom at the Layton Hills Mall right before purchasing one and if one drinks the entire thing ("if" . . . ha!) during the drive back home by the time one reaches one's destination, one is likely to be hurrying into the house. (tmi? sorry . . . )

Perhaps one should let Luke take more than a couple of sips . . . nah. :-)

Anyway.

So Luke's getting a Blizzard for the road (because Dairy Queen? another thing we can't get around here - LAME!) and I'm getting my lemonade when I happen to spy the one-way ticket to my personal nirvana:



TA DA!!

Large lemonades? Cost $3. This baby? To quote a certain Brandy, it's bigger than my head (and a large), costs $4 and refills are $2 for the lifetime of the cup. Which means it will totally pay for itself come September. And you better believe I'll be making the most of the whole "lifetime of the cup" thing. In fact, we may have to make a trip to Salt Lake sometime soon just to get a refill. (and, you know, to check out the whole City Creek thing and stuff . . . but mostly for the lemonade.) And you better believe that the last thing I do on my deathbed will be to send someone out to refill it one last time. The only question will be, do I go with regular lemonade, cherry lemonade, or lime lemonade?

It's the tough questions like that that make you appreciate having time to plan your demise. :-)

Also - today my grandest dream is to get a Hot Dog on a Stick in this town so I can go get a refill everyday. (see what I mean about channeling my inner Katie, lol?)

Anyway. Here's to a brighter, cheerier, sunnier April. And lots of lemonade.


P. ost S. cript
Muppets!

Something Tangible

Ummmmmmm . . . yes please. Delivered to me by its captain, please. (and in the flesh, not in gingerbread!!)



So this whole post is all about me being a cliche wrapped in a . . . I don't know, something else cliched. But while I totally have no shame about not making New Year's resolutions, I do sometimes feel a little left out when people talk about theirs. Not so much in a "hey, can't I play?" sort of way as much as a "hey, maybe I am missing out on something good" sort of way. And so, even though I do have a goal - sort of - for the new year, it's another forever ongoing one kind of like last years, so it kind of feels like another cop-out . . . sort of. So I'm adding something else. Something that has to be done within the calender year of 2012. Something that can be measured, success-wise. And this post - all of you - are going to be what makes sure I don't back out at the last minute . . . assuming, I suppose that there are still people reading a year from now.

Have you heard of NaNoWriMo? It's kind of a big deal, in a comparatively small circle. Anyway, here's the "tl;dr" version - National Novel Writing Month. Every November. The idea is that you write word one on November 1, and by the end of the month the goal is to have written 50,000 words. That works out to about 175 pages, which is a good first draft of a novella or a good beginning to a longer novel. Of course, it is just a first draft, and likely to need lots of editing and other work - far from publication ready, or even submission ready! I sometimes get the feeling that a lot of people forget that, and that's where Lacey's worst books ever written come from.

Aaaaaaaaaaaanyway.

I've been wanting to do NaNoWriMo for a few years now, but there's a lot more involved than just picking up a pen on November first. You have to at least have, you know, an idea for a story. Some thoughts about where it's going. It takes some prep work. And every year around this time I tell myself I'm going to do it next year . . . and every year I forget about it until November 1, at which point it's pretty much too late because I have no ground work laid to work from. But let's be honest - I will never have the free time to spend churning out 1600 words a day for 30 straight days like I do now (and currently anticipate having this time next year . . . just so that's established). So that's where all the cliches come in - "now is the time" and "if a goal isn't written down it's only a dream" and all that trite, cheesy goodness.

Here it is. I'm writing it down. I'm doing it. I'll spend the next ten months outlining and character creating and all that jazz and come November I'll be ready to go. Maybe I'll register officially, maybe I'll just do it on my own. But I'm doing it, and I'm hoping you'll all help me keep on track and not forget about it.

For starters . . . anyone have a story idea? :-)



P. ost S. cript
For those of you still frantically searching for a Christmas present from me, lol . . . this.

(the sound quality isn't the best . . . if you can't tell, it's that "BWONG!!!!" sound from Inception . . . which would also make me an awesome present.)

I'm Kind of Brilliant

Haters gonna hate, but dangit, I had fun today! And now, my genius idea - dun-da-da-DAH!!


Presenting CATherine, Duchess of Cambridge. :-) Like I said, I'm kind of a genius.

My best kitty cat pose. And a really crooked tiara. And about-to-fall-off cat ears. It's been a long day. :-)

Anyway, this was totally not my original plan. I really have been trying to top last year ALL YEAR. I finally decided to go with Elizabeth Bennett and just throw my wedding tiara on top and tell the kids I'm a princess. And it would be totally easy because I have the perfect Regency Era-type dress. In fact, I actually wore it as a Halloween costume a few years ago. Sadly, somehow during an entire night of partying up with peoples I only ended up with one semi-good picture showing it off. Blargh.


But still, I looked pretty awesome, eh?

Interestingly enough, I had two costumes that year (long story) and the other one - how's this for crazy? Hannah Montana.


This was a few months before I bought the wig, and I'm really not sure what takes more time - straightening my hair or pinning it up to be hidden under the wig.

So anyway. I'm planning on going with this fabulously already assembled costume, and just after school starts it occurs to me - I've gained a pound or three since 2007, and I probably should make sure the dress still fits. So I go and try it on and all the areas I'm thinking might be a problem are fine . . . but my shoulders have apparently doubled in size or something because the last, like, two inches of the zipper? Just aren't happening. So at this point I have two thoughts:
1) are you FREAKING kidding me?!?!
2) good thing I tried the dress on now, because dude, how much awkward panic would there have been this morning otherwise?!?!

So I'm frantically trying to come up with something new and all thoughts of costume toppage are pretty much out the window with a flurry of grrrrrrrrrr's, and that leads me to spending an afternoon driving from store to every store in town trying to find/make up something that's cheap but still at least a little bit clever. This would be the point where I discover that Shopko had shoved all their Halloween costume stuff into a corner and put it on clearance. Six weeks before Halloween. I still can't not think what the crap? about that.

Anyway, I finally end up at Hobby Lobby, more or less in desperation, but it all worked out because that's where I found the cat ears and tail, and for only, like, ten bucks or something like that. Score! Than I get up to the register and it turns out it's on clearance too or something because it rings up at half the price. Woot!

So then a couple of days later I decide to try the ears on to make sure the headband isn't some super tight headache inducing thing, because that would make for all sorts of torture. Turns out it fits purrrrrfectly (rim shot!) . . . so I just randomly kept the ears on. Because I could. So I'm sitting there stitching furiously and watching . . . something or other on tv . . . and then I remember - I have this!



These teeny tiny tiaras are for sale all over the place at WDW for, like, five bucks or something. I got lucky and found this perfectly intact one at the Cast Member Broken Reject Merchandise Store (that might not be its actual name, lol) for something like fifty cents.

Actually, I got two.


Because I'm awesome like that. :-)

So I run to my jewelry box and quickly discover, as you saw, that the tiara totally works, so I'm totally going with it and feeling all clever and original and now I'm stitching on the couch in cat ears and a tiara because again, I'm awesome like that. And I'm not just going to be a cat, I'm going to be a cat princess! Fun!!

This is the part that's probably obvious . . . but gradually the voice in my head switches things up from "cat princess" to "princess cat" and from there it was just a matter of word association. I mean, duh - princess cat = Princess Cat = Princess CATherine = CATherine, Duchess of Cambridge. Maybe I got there a bit faster than other people would have, but I imagine most people would have gotten there eventually.

Okay, maybe just to Princess CATherine. But that's close enough.

(Now, let's all take a moment and appreciate the fact that this was not my costume. Believe me, I appreciate it!)

So it all works out nicely, since I was planning on buying the earrings and ring anyway, and the only other thing I needed - a pair of black pants - I got at DI. And I lucked into finding a pretty great pair that I might even wear again . . . and that was certainly not in the plan! Woo. Hoo.

So by this point it's, like, the beginning of the month and I'm thinking I'm all set, and then Aunt Sharon emails asking if I have a tiara Sage can borrow, and again - two thoughts.
1) well, yeah, but I'm wearing it . . .
2) wait a second, I have THREE!

So I run to the jewelry box again to make sure my wedding tiara will work with the cat ears. And, obviously, they work together. So I take a moment to kick myself again for letting my mom talk me out of the tiara I really wanted -


Because this baby? Holy awesome. Also, the model? Totally being a really good sport. This picture was taken less than an hour after I made him pose for this one -


He must really love me, eh? :-)

Anyway, I kick myself and then I email back that Sage can have her pick and I'll wear the other one. Because Cinderella always gets top choice. :-)

So there is the long story of how I assembled my costume. As for showing it off today - yeah, no one's thought process went beyond cat princess. But hey, it even took me a few days, so I was not exactly expecting everyone to get it and spend the day telling me how immensely clever I am. It was all good.

They were short on volunteers first thing in the morning, so I started out hiding behind a bench in the spook alley jumping out and screaming and scaring the 5th graders, which was pretty awesome, but after just that grade - about half a dozen groups - my voice was already on its way out. (Let me just say right now I really don't know how certain people spent the entire day wailing last year!) So I switched out as more people showed up and went back to chief hand holder and laugher-at-tough-boys-near-hysterics . . . because oh yes, there were a few. It was great.

So now my feet are ridiculously tired again - good thing the boots I wore have half the heel of last year's boots! - and I'm all curled up because I hardly sat down all day. But it was a fabulous day, and I'm still in costume and hoping we have enough candy for all the little goblins who come by tonight. Since I'd rather not give out money. We don't keep much cash and we're even low on checks, lol. (ten points if you get the reference!)


P. ost S. cript
From the "SO going to get stuck in your head" file. Also from the "recruiting people to help wring Ashli's scrawny little neck for getting it in my head" file.