Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Can We Just Leap To Spring Already?

Stir crazy.

I. Am. There.

I know really have no right or reason to complain (and that it must seem like I'm always talking about the weather and you're all really bored with it) since it's not like I've been housebound for any reason lately. And lets be honest, everyone gets the winter blues to some degree and mine certainly haven't come anywhere Certifiable Mental Disorder level.

But.

There's always a but, isn't there? Anyway, in my case I have spent this entire month in a rather depressed-ish funk that is semi-normal for this time of year for me, but more pronounced. And I just can't seem to shake it. Low-brow TV (*nudge*Katie*nudge*) and mint oreos and the like can perk me up for a while, but every afternoon when Luke goes to work I find myself staring at hours and hours of nothing more productive to do than find new recipes on pinterest and nothing sounds appealing and I just can't help but think "this cannot be how I'm going to spend the rest of my life!!!"

(and seriously, the first person to mention kids as the antidote to that thought gets minus a gazillion points because frankly nothing sounds less desirable to me at the moment . . . even though there are a few newborns I'm dying to see!)

I know this is pretty normal for me in February - just more pronounced than usual. And I know it'll go away in a few more weeks . . . assuming spring comes this year. The way this winter has gone, who knows? Seriously, the mere fact that it's snowing right now is depressing even though I know it'll probably gone by morning. (for those of you not around here who think I'm kidding - the snow from yesterday morning was all gone by the time it dusted up again last night. and that was gone by the time I got off work today. and now it's snowing again. this winter? has. been. nuts.)

That's part of the problem I think - I didn't get to enjoy winter when I like it and now that I'm done I'm getting taunted. Right now I could seriously kill to be able to walk to the zoo, wander around for a while, and walk home all comfortably without a jacket.

On a cheery note, I'm working on planning our first real vacation since going to Australia in 2008. It's not until July, but frankly I'm counting down the seconds.

If it snows in July, heads will roll. Seriously.


P. ost S. cript
Things that always cheer me up:
~ Cellos
~ Electric cellos (but now I'm aching to play "Lord of the Dance"!)
~ Israel Kamakawiwo╩╗ole's "Over the Rainbow"


Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Today's Lesson Is . . .

Never Underestimate the Ability of Americans to Make EVERYTHING Revolve Around Food.

But first.



Huge props to Lora for suggesting such an utterly Lacey-proof solution to the amazing disintegrating zipper. Make note kids, 'cause when you find a fix-it that even I can't screw up . . . you want to hold on that.

But again, all thanks go to Lora for enabling me to go to school yesterday looking absolutely fabulous.

*insert a couple gratuitous pictures of my fabulous self here*


Seriously, how did I not totally make the character auditions? (don't answer that)

A few things:

~ Finally wearing this dress going on twelve years after it was purchased. How CRAZY is that?!?!
~ The kids' reactions upon seeing me = totally better than any high school boy's would have been.
~ Pulled out my curling iron for the first time in at least 2 years (probably more) and learned a couple of thing. 1- the curling iron still works . . . good to know. 2- relearned that my hair really doesn't hold curl well or long without a bit of hairspray. Too bad my mom spent my entire childhood using the stuff like the 80s would never end, otherwise I might be able to stand the it.
~ This shall be my go-to Valentine's dress. Which means it shall also be my motivation to keep in really good shape . . . because I don't think I could gain more than a pound or two and still fit in to this thing.


Moving on to our lesson. I'm sure this has been noted by many people before, but have you noticed how EVERY single holiday in this country revolves around food, no matter what its original purpose was? I mean, think about it -

Halloween - originally a day to honor the spirits of the dead/saints. Now? A day to dress oddly and gather/hoard copious amounts of candy

Thanksgiving - originally a day to thank God for a bountiful year or whatever other blessings one may be so inclined to be thankful for. Now? The day revolves so much around food that some people don't even call it Thanksgiving anymore. In fact, I had a manager at Disney that I sometimes wondered if she even knew that that's what the day was actually called. One time someone said the word "Thanksgiving" in her hearing and she responded with "What? You mean Turkey Day?" Oy.

Christmas - second only to the commercialism is the extravagance of the Christmas feast. And let's not forget the stockings filled with candy.

Easter - while still much more religious than it rapidly secularizing cousin, there's still the big deal made over the Easter Ham or Easter Lamb. And, of course, jelly beans and cadbury eggs. (mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!)

July 4th? Memorial Day? Forgetting the founding of a nation and honoring fallen soldiers - these days are all about the picnics and barbecues. Oh, and furniture sales where the big draw is the "free hot dogs and soft drinks."


And Valentine's Day? Originally a feast to celebrate a Catholic saint, theoretically a day to celebrate all forms of love, these days it is essentially Halloween 2.0. For proof, may I present exhibit A:

Behold the massive haul of deliciously junkie junk I came home with yesterday! On the one hand, I'm not complaining. On the other . . . I just have to say - what the crap?!?!?!?!?! When did it become required to include candy in your valentines? When did the cutesy picture and corny pun move into the realm of "not good enough to be a meaningless token of acknowledgment to classmates, most of whom you either tolerate or actively dislike," you know? Seriously.

I mean, come one. When I was in elementary school, the pile of valentines with candy looked a lot more like my pile from yesterday that was without candy. Behold:

(also note the confusion on how to address me, lol) And can I just note that although none of these came with candy, one, as you can see, is a coupon for a free Krispy Kreme donut, and the other two have tattoos inside.

And again, it appears "just" a valentine is not enough. Is it even possible to buy a box of valentines that doesn't automatically come with either candy or a tattoo? What is up with that?


I'm amazed and a little mind boggled, I must admit . . . but I'm not exactly complaining. Because some of these kids who give their classmates king size candy bars really know how to treat their teachers right. And they (rightly, lol) include people like me in their list of teachers. So I also came home with this:

Oh, baby! And can I just say that if their parents have the money to buy a candy factory for each of their 20-some classmates AND a good half a dozen boxes of Toblerone for the teachers . . . I kind of want to see if they can adopt me and start buying me other things, lol.

Anyway. Come along with me on my entertaining (IMO) series of discoveries from after work yesterday.

I. Got. Beibered. (and I'm still not even sure how to spell his name!) And from an adorably sweet little boy at that! Is there some sub-text to this I'm missing? :-)


Clearly, Luke thinks there is. :-D


Am I supposed to use the box as a Christmas decoration or something when I'm done eating?


HSM is still cool? Who would have thought? Fun fact: the people with whom High School Musical is not popular - high schoolers. College kids/20-somethings? It's a hit . . . don't get me started on the stories I could tell from Disney! Younger kids? Apparently it's still one of the coolest things around. Also - note the wildcat tattoo.


What is that even supposed to mean?



Okay, who's messed up idea was it that bugs are cutesy-lovey-dovey-good for valentines? Seriously! And a ginormous tarantula tattoo?!?!? I. DON'T. THINK. SO. Luke got the bag of goldfish crackers attached to this one. Mostly because I threw the whole thing at him upon seeing the FREAKING GINORMOUS TARANTULA TATTOO.

Again with the bugs! And who would want an earwig tattoo?!?!??!?! I can kind of see a spider - that's all edgy and whatever . . . but an EARWIG?!?!?!?!?! WHY?!?!?!?!?! EEEWWWW!!!!!!!!


Now this is something I can get behind. Cuddly kitties, all snugly and can-haz-cheezburger-y. Tattoo is vaguely creepy looking, but what can you do?


Wait. Wait. WAIT. The Rugrats grew up? The Rugrats can't grow up! By very definition they thereby cease to be rugrats! This is seriously the most illogical thing I've seen in . . . well, a few days at least.


So, in conclusion - food is good. But it's ceasing to be surprising that so many people in this country are wider than they are tall. What do you expect with a collective unconscious that is literally turning every single day of the year into an excuse to gorge on something "special" or whatever? Coming this fall: special edition Talk Like a Pirate Day chocolate oranges. Specially formulated to prevent scurvy!


On that note . . .


Anyone want this one? we won't be anywhere near Orem in the next month.


P. ost S. cript
Seriously, is there anything lamer than a kisskam? I've always wondered what happens if(when) they get people who aren't together. I mean, you don't know. Maybe they're cousins. Maybe they've just met and are just chatting and getting to know each other. This little girl seriously gets it right.


Monday, February 13, 2012

Pattern for Forever

Talk about targeted advertising.


So. Jump into the flashback machine with me.

*wavy lines and harp glissandos here*

The time is 2007, the place is Florida. Luke and Lacey are about to go on their first date. In a conversation taking place before that date, Luke asks Lacey what her favorite flowers are. Lacey says roses and marigolds.

First date. Luke brings Lacey flowers. "See, they're mums, you said they were your favorite!"

Awwwwwwww, he tried to remember. And he kind of got close!

As things progress Lacey reminds Luke of this story and explains that it's actually marigolds, not mums that are her favorite. Giggles all around.

Okay, flashback over.

*more wavy lines and pastel colors and dream-sequence music*

So. Saturday. We're talking about Valentine's Day and Luke asks what I want to do. I say he knows what I like. He says that chocolate and roses are just so cliche. Which is true, but doesn't change the fact that I like them. I mean, cliches become so for a reason, right? In this case, I will gladly embody the cliche . . . mostly because it's a delicious one.

Anyway. Luke goes on some more about how he feels like such an unoriginal slacker going the chocolate/roses route and he wants to be original when - "what's your other favorite flower again? Mums, right?"

Maybe it's only funny to me, but I cracked up. We have this EXACT conversation at least three times a year - in February, April, and May. And sometimes at other random times. Meaning we've had this very same conversation at least twenty times. The part that really gets me is that it's not just that he doesn't remember marigolds, but every single time he remembers mums specifically. It's not daisies or violets or petunias or some other random flower - it's not some other flower that starts with M (and I can't think of any off the top of my head, so it's actually not that surprising that Luke doesn't come up with any). No, it's that every time he remembers the same wrong flower and every time he's so certain he's finally gotten it right this time.

Until I start laughing. And then he immediately realizes he got it wrong again. And we laugh together at it might be even better than actually getting the marigolds in the first place. :-)

In fact, one time there was even a declaration of "no, I remember now! I get it wrong every time, but now I've got it! It's not marigolds, it's MUMS!" He was so sure of himself it was rather sweet. And funnier than usual.

Do you think by the time we're both 100 he'll have gotten it straight? :-D

Also: I'm totally craving some powdered sugar donuts now.


P. ost S. cript
Just cool.


Monday, February 6, 2012

Seeking Biased Answers


So. Last week. Fourth grade. There's a little bit of down time while the class is elsewhere, so I'm chatting with the volunteer mom who comes in and checks in homework in the mornings. Among other things, it comes up that she works at Convergys, so naturally I mention that "my husband" works there too. She asks who he is and it turns out they know each other and there's all the crazy "small world, isn't it?" stuff and whatever . . . and then she mentions that she didn't realize I was married. And that she never would have guessed that I was.

That was not the first time I've had that conversation in recent memory.

I'm confused.

It's not like I'm trying to hide my marital status . . . on the other hand, I am also not flaunting the ring on my left hand in everyone's faces either. Mostly because I didn't even do that when we got engaged. And I'm used to the surprise from the kids when they find out I'm married. It's always so interesting to see which ones are interested and how many other questions they ask. And a certain young Eric, whom I'm pretty sure has had a crush on me for 3 years now, has reacted with pure shock and disbelief (and probably a little disappointment, lol) 3 times now upon hearing the news. I think it has something to do with the fact that I'm at least ten years younger than all the other aides. And . . . the fact that I go by "Miss Lacey" might have something to do with it. Maybe.

But seriously - the adult thing. I just do. Not. Get it. I can see the not realizing it thing, like I said I don't exactly flaunt it. But the would never have guessed it thing? The never occurred to them it was possible thing? I'm baffled. And I realize that while no one reading this is even remotely able to give an unbiased answer because, well, you people know me, I have to ask - do I send out some sort of single vibe? Do I exude some single-ready-to-mingle party girl aura? Where is this coming from? I. Am. Confused.

Maybe I should start drinking. Apparently I could score plenty of free drinks - even with the rock on my finger. And mostly I can't think of anything else that being single can get you for free at the moment. :-)


P. ost S. cript
From the "glad we didn't have a videographer file" . . . :-)