Saturday, August 27, 2011

Time Really Does Fly

So Luke and I have been caught up int some serious end-of-August doldrums the last couple of weeks. The sort of no energy, just sit on the couch and eat popsicles and snow cones sort of mood that's pretty much inevitable at that point where you're sick of summer and pretty sure it's never going to end. Good times.

In fact, I've been so caught up in the "blah" mood that somehow I completely missed that Sunday marked five years since I arrived in Florida. Which is kind of sad because that one decision, which seemed fairly insignificant at the time completely changed my life - and in more than just the obvious ways. :-) You people are always telling me I'm funny (gotta admit, I can't always see it) so it seems like I should tell more crazy Disney stories. I was REALLY burnt out when we left, but with a little time and distance the sweet memories are crowding out the bitter . . . and great merciful crap I have some cuh-razy stories!

With Team Jayla riding out their first hurricane out in North Carolina I've been remembering my hurricanes. And Shay and I have been trading war stories, as it were, lol.

Anyway. I got initiated into the whole hurricane thing pretty quickly - Hurricane Almosto . . . I mean Ernesto hit before I'd been there a month. It actually down to just a tropical storm by the time it got to Orlando, but you'd never have known that from my mom's reaction. She called every couple of hours almost like clockwork, which got really awkward while I was at work because if I didn't answer she'd call or text non-stop until I did, so I'd get my break and have a gazillion increasingly frantic messages. Which, you know is totally understandable at first for a west coast family with zero hurricane experience. But like I said, it wasn't even a hurricane by the time it got to me . . . but when I told her I'd been more scared of storms at both grandparents' houses (hurricanes are heavy on wind and rain, but short on thunder and lightning) it seemed to freak her out more. Kinda made no sense. Especially when she was telling me to conserve my phone battery in case the power went out, which totally makes sense, but it's a little oxymoronic to have someone call you to tell you that, no? :-) I spent a couple of vaguely unpleasant days at work listening to people ask why it's raining, to which even then I could only think: seriously? I was too much of a newbie and too intimidated at the time, but by the time I left I would have totally given them a lesson in meteorology. And enjoyed watching how long I could string it out before they either got fed up or caught to what a touron they were. And then I had a couple of days off and spent them in the parks marveling at the fact that apparently the one thing that can make Peter Pan drop below a two hour wait is a hurricane. (of course, it was still a half hour wait while Space Mountain was a walk on . . . I will NEVER understand how that works.)

Then there was Hurricane Fay two years later. That one was just miserable - and I still resent that got named after me. I don't think it was actually a hurricane for more than a few hours at a time. It parked itself right on top of Orlando and stayed there for, like, three years. Okay, it was actually about three weeks, but three weeks of absolute non-stop rain feels like three decades. Or maybe three centuries. Seriously, it was awful. I worked at 3 different attractions, and all of them depended on the weather for whether they actually ran or not. So basically the entire end of the park was shut down for almost a month. Oh, you better believe people were damning us to hell left and right for daring to call up a hurricane during their vacation . . . never mind the fact that they scheduled said vacation smack in the dead center of hurricane season. And I had to stand there with utterly soggy feet (they basically didn't dry out once until about a week after the storm finally moved on) and smile and say "I'm so sorry about your utterly ruined vacation in which you've been prevented from seeing one whole show and riding one whole ride, but if you'll just head up to the front of the park that's where the people who are paid to listen to you complain and pretend to care and pretend to fix it are stationed."

You know, if I could have phrased it that way I'd have much happier memories of that entire month. :-)

The kicker was this chick who I have yet to figure out how she functions on a daily basis. All wide-eyed and looking heartbroken and going on about how she just couldn't understand what was going on, there are all these people here and it's been raining so much and it's just been so awful and why are things going like this?!?! So I roll my eyes and pseudo-calmly explain that she chose to take her family on vacation during the summer, which means they are here both during the rainy season, which means it rains at least a little bit everyday, and also during the time of the year when everyone else and their dogs choose to visit so it's going to be crowded. And then she wanders off saying again that she just doesn't understand how we could let it be so crowded and rainy when her family is here and - seriously? The ego-centrism of some people will never cease to amaze me. Forget the fact that most tourons are convinced that CMs are audio-animatronic and there's an invisible dome over the whole place and we completely control the weather . . . do these people actually expect us to clear out the park of everyone else just for them? Do they expect restaurants to be empty when they go out to eat? Is everyone else supposed to just go home if they want to go shopping? Or do they just have to go to a different store in the mall?

I know it sounds a little crazy, but at the moment I would actually kind of welcome a hurricane. Not a big one - just another one of those little ones I got a taste of a few years ago. Rain . . . temperatures lower than a million degrees . . . nice, high speed breezes . . . yeah, I could go for one of those right now. Where's that teleportation device when you need it? :-)

P. ost S. cript
Like tourons, the supply of stupid reporters seems to be pretty bottomless.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Wake Me Up When August Ends

So starting Monday I'll be spending this year as an aide again, which is great. My hours have been cut, which is not great.

And while I know that I should just shut up and be grateful to have any job at all, I can't help but feel the rejection. After all, the whole hours cut thing comes after two and a half years of applying all over the place with absolutely no results. And if you count all the summers in college when I tried to get a job in this town I'm on an almost ten year streak, which I suppose is a pretty impressive record. I stand by everything I said earlier this month, but considering how much emphasis is placed on a person's job these days it would be nice if people would give me a second glance. Of course, this is the girl who's never gotten a job without familial intervention unless the only requirement for that job was a pulse. And I'm pretty sure Western Wats would hire zombies.

Anyway, I've pretty much spent the last ten-ish days just reading and pinning scrumptious looking treats. And wanting to eat them all. But apparently the fat gods have decided that ten pounds was just not good enough, because first I tried to make some frozen nutella hot chocolate a little while ago, only to discover that some part or other of the spinning mechanism of our blender has rusted or something and . . . well, we no longer have a blender. Then Monday I tried to make some molasses cookies and - well, I don't even know what happened. I was mixing up the wet ingredients and suddenly the mixer got all wobbly or something and . . . I don't know. The spin-y things - the spines of the beater - do those things even have their own name?! Whatever - the things that actually do the mixing . . . one of them fell off the stick you stick into the motor. Seriously, what the crap is that about?!? That makes absolutely NO SENSE. This has got to be the stupidest appliance malfunction . . . so stupid I'm pretty sure I'm the only person it's ever happened to, because how much more ridiculous can it get?

And yes, I know, holy first world problems Batman. But I've seriously been in need of a sweet, preferably chocolaty, because let's be honest: chocolate never says you're not good enough. So there is currently a large bag of pretzel M&Ms in the cupboard. And its sojourn there shall be brief.

And hopefully these cursed dog days of summer will end soon and I will stop dripping with sweat from the moment I get out of bed, which will lead to the motivation to do more than lay on the floor directly under the swamp cooler all day. Seriously, why do spring and autumn have to be so short? They're just long enough to taunt you, and then the weather is back in to unbearability!

P. ost S. cript
This? Is too cool. I'd love to learn to play, but it's got to be ridiculously difficult.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Back in the Day

So for the last week I've been waiting for a phone call that I'm beginning to think is not going to come. It's frustrating and I shall rant and rave about it someday, but today . . . is not that day. Today is a bit of an auld lang syne day.

You see, I've been a bit paranoid about missing this phone call, so my phone has not been farther than about a foot away from me for several days now. Yes, I do mean ever, and no, I shall not make you cringe by illustrating that I do mean EVER. I've also randomly called and texted people to make sure it was still working becase as ridiculous as it sounds I would rather be able to pretend to believe the thing wasn't making any sound because there was something wrong with it than because no one is trying to get in touch with me.

All this has gotten me into one of my philosophical moods (among others less pleasant) and I've been wondering - what the heck did people do before cell phones? Believe me, I know how ridiculous this sounds . . . in fact, I didn't even get a cell until I was junior in college, and even then it was only because it would cost the same as a land line since it was clear I wouldn't be splitting the land line bill with roommates. I clearly remember what it was like when cell phones weren't so ubiquitous . . . not only that, my parents still have one! I'm pretty sure it hasn't actually been picked up in years . . . but I could call it right now if I wanted to, as I've mentioned it's about the only number I still know.

But I have a rather specific scenario in mind (perhaps overly specific, but Luke kept coming up with solutions and i kind of didn't want one). I'm thinking 60s/70s . . . ish. Someone who lives alone. Pre-answering machines. Waiting for an uber-important phone call. Out food, out of clean clothes, whatever. For some reason they need to leave the house somewhat urgently. But they absolutely can't miss that phone call. What do they do?

I have absolutely no answer. I mean, think about it. Desperately needing to leave for whatever reason . . . but what if they did? What if that call came while they were gone? What if it was a call for some big job or promotion or massive lottery winning or whatever but it was a one shot deal so if you missed the call they just went to the next person on the list but you didn't know if they would be calling tomorrow or a week from tomorrow? And there's no food in the house except a piece of stale bread and a carton of sour milk and you've been wearing the same outfit for two weeks because you don't have a washer? But if you decide to take your chances and go out and they call while you're out - YOU'D NEVER EVEN KNOW!!!!!! You'd get back and have no way to tell if the phone had rung while you were out. None. And so you'd go on waiting and waiting and waiting for the call and all the while you'd know in the back of your mind that there was slightest chance you'd already missed the call but there's no way to find out. So how long do you keep waiting? On the one hand, they probably didn't call, after all the phone had been silent for so long . . . but what if they did? What if you missed it? But really, what are the odds? You were only gone for half and hour! No way would they happen to call in that tiny little window of time . . . but what if? What if? WHAT IF?!?!?!?!?!?!

(side note: is it possible to make yourself bipolar? because that would explain a lot . . . and not just about me, lol)

Okay, so I'm probably totally exaggerating an already unlikely situation, but that's kind of what happens when you have nothing to do but sit and watch your phone all day and- HOLY CRAP HAS IT BEEN ON SILENT ALL THIS TIME?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!

No . . . that's just the sound of the phone not ringing. (believe me, I've checked. About ten times. Today.)

But really. What did people do back in the day? And don't even get me started on before phones when you had to wait for letters or people to show up at your door or whatever. All the million and five ways that could go awry? No thank you. We'll just add that to the list of reason I'm glad I wasn't born even a decade earlier than I was. Just below air conditioning and above disposable diapers. (because I would have NEVER gotten a repeat babysitting job if any of those rug rats had been wearing cloth . . . it was all I could do not to puke on some of them as it was!)

Anyway . . . I'll go back to just driving myself nuts now.

P. ost S. cript
As if I didn't adore this song already . . . here's one (and probably the only) way to get me to willingly go into eighth position!! Hey Ashli - wanna do a duet?

(side note: I think channel PBS-BUT-NOT-KBYU has been in pledge drive mode . . . well, since March. Weird, but I'm not complaining since they're finally showing stuff I like consistently!!)

Monday, August 8, 2011

Now Wait Just a Minute

Seriously. And the root beer ones are the whole reason you bought the popsicles in the first place!!!

Anyway. So blogger added that Stats tab . . . what, like, a year ago now? It's been a while. And it's a pretty cool little feature, you know? So fun to see what people are reading and where they're from and stuff. Although I have to admit that right after I post something I tend to drive myself a little bit nuts by constantly checking and rechecking the stats. What do you mean no one's read my new post yet?! It's been, like, 20 whole minutes!!!!

Yeah, I'm a little pathetic.

In more ways than one. Because if you go to the audience sub-tab and check the all time option, mine shows that there has been one view on a Wii. Every time (which, in my defense, is not often) I look at that particular pie chart I see that and think, who the crap is reading my blog on a Wii?

Then I think, oh yeah that was me goofing off on the internet channel on our Wii that one time.

Okay, so I do have my blonde moments. But this is not a story of Lacey being a spaz . . . because let's face it, there are a lot of those.

This is a story of Lacey wondering what is up with you people.

Like I said, I have fun seeing where people are coming from (I seem to be moderately popular in Europe) and what everyone is reading. It's kind of weird, but for being SO not a math person, I'm really kind of a stats person. Anyway . . .

I have this one post - which I am absolutely not going to identify - that has literally THREE TIMES AS MANY views as my second most popular post. And for the last year or whatever since I've discovered this it has completely boggled my mind as to why. I'm sure part of it has to do with the fact that for a while I had a most popular posts list on my side bar, and since it was always the most popular it was always there for random discoverers to click on . . . but at least in my mind that just does not explain why it has so many more views than the other posts in the list. Or why it had been getting more views every week - even more than the new posts from that week. I mean really, what is that about?

So you may have noticed (but probably not . . . I can be realistic sometimes) my little experiment. I took off the most popular posts widget and added the "you may also like" widget at the bottom of each post. And whilst I was asking my awesome Elise friend how to get said widget I told her about my lovely little experiment and she said she had the same thing going on on her blog - one ridiculously popular post and no obvious reason as to why.

So we decided that I should do a poll (and I totally think she should too). Is this mystifying phenomenon just happening to us, or does everyone else have that one post that the internet seems to love for no apparent reason? And is it three times as popular? (I kid you not - this post has 126 views, and the next most viewed post has 42. That is EXACTLY three times more.)

Also: so far my experiment seems to be failing. For, like, two days after switching things up it looked like things might be changing. And then - the very day of my last post, and after I posted it . . . EIGHTEEN people in France read the uber popular post.

Wait. A. Minute. What . . . ? How . . . ? Why . . . ? I am so freaking confused. How did they even find it? Why did they zero in on that one and not read anything else? What is going on here?

I'm beginning to think that maybe blogger is just trying to mess with my mind. To which I say, play nice blogger, what little is there is already messed up enough!

Seriously though, help me and Elise out. Does blogger have something against us? Trying to drive us around another bend? Or is it an equal opportunity messer-wither?

Anyway. That's all. I'll just go back to rocking in a corner and talking to myself. :-)

P. ost S. cript
Okay, so technically this is totally month-old news, but I've been meaning to post a couple of these since I saw them ages ago and I keep forgetting. But they're just too fun not to share!!!

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Nymphomaniacal Orgiastic Abandon

Now that I have your attention, some random thoughts from yours truly.

Note: I don't actually want snow right now . . . but it would be so nice if spring and autumn lasted as long as summer and winter did!

~ Don't get the title? You CLEARLY haven't been to my facebook page recently. Shame on you. Go now.

~ I know I'm trying to pay attention and understand politics more and stuff - but I am utterly sick of and bored with the whole presidential election thing and have been for a few months now. Doesn't really bode well, does it? Is this whole "start campaigning the day after the last election" thing normal? Right now I can't think of one good reason to keep paying attention.

~ I am feeling really blogged out right now. After that whole 30-day marathon I feel like I have nothing left to say. So . . . anything you want to know? Crazy stories you think I should share with everybody? Help me out here.

~ We really need to invest in some jumper cables. I went out to go grocery shopping this morning and . . . well, I'm really hoping the battery is just drained like it sounds like it is. As soon as our neighbor gets back with their cables we're going to give it a try. I've been thinking about it and I'm guessing that after somewhat frantically run errands yesterday I didn't close the door all the way . . . so the interior light was on all day but nobody could tell, blah, blah, blah - you all know how this story goes. I'd be really mad if it wasn't (probably) totally my fault. And I guess if it isn't I'll have something to blog about! (wow . . . when that's your silver lining . . . that's gotta be a bad sign . . . )

~ I knew monkeys moved fast. I did not know they could move that fast, if you catch my drift. (and if you don't . . . facebook! *cough*Deb*cough*)

~ I've lost about ten pounds this summer. Probably not going to make the goal I had for the end of this month, but I'm doing better than I did last summer. In fact I might even try to keep up the working out thing during the school year this time around. Because I'm feeling just that awesome. :-)

~ The wallaby at the zoo? GONE!!!!! And replaced by a bunch of birds - LAME!!!! Luke and I both consider this slightly epically tragic, especially since the zoo shirt Luke got back in May has a wallaby on it. We're thinking he must have gotten deported over all the mushrooms he was growing, lol.

~ I sometimes find myself wondering what housewives did in the 50s if they didn't have kids. The ones who had washers and dryers and fridges so they didn't have to spend all day cooking and cleaning. I have the internet, tv, a wii, a library card, and a cross-stitching hobby and I still find myself getting bored. How on earth did they entertain themselves home alone all day?!?!

~ Speaking of, I still get a little giddy at having a washer and dryer now. It's so awesome not having to worry about having enough quarters or if someone will come behind you and toss your clothes out if you don't get back to them fast enough. (actually happened to me once, ages ago.)

~ It's time once again to read Tuck Everlasting. It's so amazing how such a short book (a novella, really, not a novel) can say so much and make me love it even more every time I read it. I may be a bookworm, and I may love a lot of books, but there aren't many like that. At all.

~ I really need to hop on to myspace sometime and move all my bog posts from there to somewhere more convenient.

Update: Long story short, looks like we're getting a new alternator. Bad news: about $130. Good news: my dad's doing it and he takes cookies as payment for labor. (well, that's not the payment he asked for, but I told him that if he and mom don't stop asking for that they'll never get it.)

P. ost S. cript
Marching band + the bed intruder song = awesome sauce. I just wish they'd had a color guard because that is a song with a lot of potential for a fun routine. (also: the longer version I saw originally was better than the performance version. wonder why they changed it.)

Monday, August 1, 2011

More than the Job

It's so frustrating when your job status is up in the air. I've had a lovely (if sometimes dull) summer, and now it's time to start wondering/worrying about whether I'll be back at school in a few weeks, and in what capacity. It'll be so great to be able to go back, both because then I'll have something to keep me much more occupied, and because I feel a little useless at times while we're living off just Luke's paycheck. Like I'm not contributing anything to our little family. Luke keeps telling me that I do and pointing out all the . . . well, for lack of a better term, housewife-ly . . . things I do. Things that need done that he either can't do (like cook) or it would be a pain in the butt for him to add to his chore list just considering demands on time. (like laundry . . . on the major plus side, Luke cleans the bathroom. I'll willingly do everything else just for that!)

So on the one hand I know there's nothing wrong with the way we've got things set up because it works for us. On the other hand, so much of a person's worth in the eyes of other people is tied to that person's job. It made it really hard for me when it was taking me so long to find one - and since that wasn't so long ago the idea of having to start hunting again for any reason really freaks me out. Especially since there is a person out there who called me lazy, and said I needed to "just grow up already, and go get a job."

I still don't know quite what to think of that. For, what, 3 years now all anyone can talk about is how everyone in the freaking country is having trouble getting a job and my problem is that I'm lazy? How is a person even supposed to respond to that? I don't know if the comment was just evidence of a callous personality, thoughtlessness, or their inability to deal with personally knowing someone stuck in crappy job search mode. All I know is that I literally cried myself to sleep that night.

So I keep reminding myself that I - and everyone else - am more than just my job. More than just what I do on a daily basis, both during the school year and during the summer. Everyone has layers to them. Everyone has different things to offer. Everyone out there is more than just their job. I am more than just my job.

It's been months said that person said that. Honestly, I don't really think about it much anymore. But occasionally I do, especially at points in time like now. And I'm realizing that the sting of the statement is probably never going to go away. It's not that surprising; it was a cruel thing to say, and it came at one of the times I was feeling the most useless. But when it comes to mind, I just remind myself that they didn't know what they were talking about. That Luke and I are both okay with our situation (although we wouldn't say no to substantial raises, lol). And that's all that really matters.

And if, heaven forbid, I don't get a phone call in the next couple of weeks . . . well, I guess I'll find something new. Even if it takes another year.

(but keep those prayers and voodoo rituals and stuff coming, k?)

P. ost S. cript
So I was watching this extreme thrills thing on the Travel Channel this morning and they included zorbing. Totally made me want to go back to Rotorua. However, seeing as the only US location, Pigeon Forge, is about a day's drive from where Team Jayla is currently residing . . . well, Tennessee it is! We'll just have to get out there for a visit. Because this? Is awesome. (but zigzagging is better.)