Wednesday, February 27, 2013

In Which I Am a Despicable Person

Remember the part where there are, like, a thousand kids in my fourth grade class this year?  One of them is moving at the end of this week . . . maybe.  We're all a little unclear about what exactly is going on.

Anyway.  I'm having a bit of a hard time getting upset over it.  And by getting upset I mean not jumping for joy over it.

I know, I know.  I'm horrible.  But this particular kid has been nothing but frustration all year.  He's never even pretended to care about what's going on in class . . . and to say that he's actually brought his homework half a dozen times all year might be overestimating the case.  I just don't get how a nine-year-old could already be to the point where he couldn't care less about school.

The part that really confuses me though is the fact that his parents apparently don't care either.  I mean, if it was high school I could totally understand, heaven knows I didn't learn anything there that has turned out to be useful since (at least, not in the classroom, but that's a subject for another day).  But fourth grade?  It may be (and is) on the tail end of the things you'll actually use in real life - but it's still got some pretty important stuff in there.  For three years now I've been trying to wrap my head around parents like that.  Do they really not care if their kids can't read?  Have they really convinced themselves that technology is moving in a direction that makes knowing how to add single digit numbers unnecessary?

Because when I ask a kid what six plus nine is and all I get is this:

That's kind of a problem.  (granted, I could watch Sean Connery all day, but when I get this look from fourth graders I kind of find myself wanting to carve my eyes out with a plastic spork)

But anyway.  Seriously.  How does that work?  The not caring part?  I mean, clearly it starts at the top and works its way down to where the kid doesn't care either, and doesn't try to hide it like the kids who's parents do care but the kids don't . . . they try to hide it.  How they don't care, I mean.  But this one (and a couple of the others over the past couple of years) . . . there's just such an air of "whatever" about them.  And I just don't get it.

I feel bad for the kid - I can't imagine things are going to be pretty in about ten years.  But there's not exactly much you can do when they choose to doodle instead follow directions when you're trying to help them.  It just gives me one more instance where I feel like I'm not doing any good.

On the plus side . . . the class is down to 33.  That's, like, a record low.  For this year.

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So I'm guessing everyone has seen this one already since it was making the rounds on facebook back around Christmas or so, but it's kind of awesome.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Once Upon an Obvious

Previously we ended the episode with a preview of trepidation and judging by the half-spoilers from Shayla and Kayla . . . man, they better do a heck of a job explaining why Neal is Bae.

 ~ So it looks like Rumplilocks and Milha were happy at some point.

~ Wait, Rumplilocks was excited to go to war?  What?

~ Good grief, not more parental issues.  *sigh* What was wrong with DaddyRumplilocks?

~ Just how does Rumplilocks know where Bae is down to the building?

~ Even with Cora sitting right there I'm not sure I believe that's actually Regina. 

~ Or Hook, for that matter.

~ Did Regina get a haircut?

~ Cora seems to have bee to the salon too . . . what, were they finally having a mother/daughter date?

~ Aaaaaaaaaaaand, we all called it.  Yay.  Isn't that lovely.

~ I really hope this show doesn't go the way of Lost.

~ You tell him Emma.

~ I suppose Henry ought to start calling Rumplilocks Grandpa now too.  Not nearly as amusing.

~ Yeah, speaking of August, WHERE THE CRAP IS HE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

~ Wait, how did August know who Neal really was?

~ Also, way lame reveal.  Why couldn't August just say that?  A real reason, not a "because we weren't supposed to know yet" reason.

~ Along with the not seeing him again can he make it so the whole conversation/confrontation never happened?  Because I would totally go for that if I were Emma.

~ That seer thing is more than a little creepy.

~ "Will leave him fatherless."  Clever phrasing, that.  You always have to wonder how much hearing these type of prophecies affects what happens.

~ Does that count as a Rule #3?  I'm calling it close enough.  DRINK!

~ How are they letting Regina just wander around the hospital?

~ And is that Regina or Cora?!?!

~ Oh good, a library scene.  So this episode won't be a total loss.

~ That is some lucious princess hair Cora is sporting.  Seriously, what were they up to the last couple of weeks?

~ Yum, Charming!

~ Charming who doesn't get the concept of having more than one set of grandparents.  What's up with that?

~ Major points for the show finally acknowledging the twisted up family tree!  YAY!

~ Which means, of course, rule #2 - DRINK! :-)

~ Cue Rumplilocks faking an injury.  This whole episode has been obnoxiously predictable.

~ Personally, I think I'd have an easier time going into battle than breaking my own ankle.

~ Like, if going into battle were my last option, breaking my own ankle would be in the negative on the option list.

~ Awkward three generation family reunion . . . check.

~ Clearly Rumplilocks was gone for a while.  When he left he didn't even know Milha was pregnant. (and presumably Milha didn't either, or I imagine she would have said something)

~ How did word travel so fast?  How does the whole kingdom know? (and seriously, why do they care? a poor weaver dude got himself out of the war . . . so?  do. not. get it.)

~ That took Rumplilocks longer to figure that out than I expected.

~ And the awkward is complete.

~ Dude, Henry's had a rough couple of years.

~ Why does car crash dude look so familiar?  Who is that actor?

~ Am I supposed to feel sorry for Hook?  Because I don't.

~ Is it just me, or does this scene with Emma and Henry scream "blue screen"?

~ Is Henry going to stay in New York?  Because that will definitely complicate things for Regina.

~ Why are there always so many more questions than answers?

~ Don't answer that.

~ Yeah, Bae grew up.  Speaking of which, why is he still alive?  In the time line he left FTL ages before most of the rest of the FTL stuff happened.  How is he still only, like, thirty something?

~ Well, here's an unexpected fast foward.

~ Here's hoping creepy hand-eyes girl doesn't show up again.

~ Finally, some answers!  Not very many, but at least we got a few.

~ "The boy will be your undoing" huh?  Sounds like we know what's going to be going n next season.

So . . . that was not a cliff hanger-y ending.  And I think I could like the whole family legacy of fatherly abandonment story line they've got going.  If they handle it right.  I suppose I could come to be okay with Neal being Bae . . . which just goes to show how good this show is.  An hour ago I was totally ready to quit watching.  Now I'm not entirely sure what I think.

Except for the part where Cora is evil and Hook has no redeeming qualities as of yet.  See ya in two weeks, kids.

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Let's counter with something that is definitely awesome, shall we?

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Little Holiday Things

No half pound of toblerone this year . . . which is seriously depressing, lol.  But I'll gladly take being told I should be a model when I was all dressed up yesterday in exchange. (today was a half day so most of the Vamlumtimes serious times took place yesterday)

Side note:  I just added Vamlumtimes to the spell check.  I feel like I should be ashamed of that or something . . . but no.

Anyway.  Here's the awesome.

I just could not get my camera to take a picture where you could see the words better, but this one says "you make my heart bounce."  And it was accompanied by a couple of pink bouncy balls.  And I"m still giggling.  I'm kind of surprised this kid didn't come up with it by himself, because he's one who could, but he said his mom helped him.  Luke's thinking pinterest, but his mom has come in to help out a few times and it wouldn't surprised me if she came up with it herself.  Either way, it is exactly my style of humor.

(random side note again: our carpet looks a lot greener in these pictures than it does in reality.  it's much more of a green blue . . . and I'm sure you were all dying to know that!)

Speaking of precisely my type of humor . . .

Can you tell that the second grader on the right and the fourth grader on the left are brothers?  :-)

The fourth grader, explaining why I got the flutter-puppy
 valentine: "I know girls usually like butterflies and men just really don't usually, so I gave all the girls the butterflies and the men got skeletons."  Again, still laughing.

Probably a good thing that this kid didn't identify themselves.  They have absolutely become my favorite and now I don't have to worry about accidentally showing it.  It's just too bad the Perry the Platypus is missing.  :-)

 Get it?!?!?!  It says "you're tops!" and it's a TRICERATOPS!!!  More perfect Lacey humor!!!

And it's holographic!  I love it!

I also love capturing it halfway . . . ummmmmmmm . . . holograph . . . 'd?

So I got some of these yesterday and some today.  This one came today, and the giver made sure I knew yesterday that I was only waiting because she "wanted to make all the teachers' valentines extra special."  And I've got to say, she got it pretty spot on.  First, I totally melted when I read it (in case you can't read it: "your 1 of the best teachers"  it took me a moment to decipher!).  Second, brilliant move in writing over the wretched redesigned monstrosity of a princess.

Yeah, seriously, don't get me started on the new redesigns.  It's bad enough the poor girls all look like survivors of a glitter factory explosion, poor Cinderella here has gone from looking like she was modeled after Grace Kelly (which she was) to looking like one of the cheap knock-off characters designed for the movies that knock off her own movie.  Epic fail.

But like I said, don't get me started.


Pretty sure this one forgot about me, and then saw the bag the teacher had out for me and grabbed the nearest pink paper he could find.  On the other hand, I kind of think my name must have been on the list because . . .

I'm really impressed with the ability of almost all the second graders to get my name right.

While the fourth graders?  Were all over the place.  As per usual.  (yes, that says L-A-S-Y)

And finally

Delivered last night by some darling little Primary kiddies.  Maybe I'm not doing a terrible job.  :-)

On the other hand, while I recognized them as soon as I opened the door, I couldn't have named them if my life depended on it until I read the names.  Of course, I know their names quite well . . . but don't ask me to point them out to you on Sunday because I couldn't do that either.  Stupid Disney and their name tags really killed my ability to remember names and faces together.  And the "remember these four people's names for ten minutes and then remember four completely new people's names for ten minutes and then never think about any of them again for the rest of your life" thing at tank probably didn't help either.

In other news: parent-teacher conferences + President's Day = FOUR DAY WEEKEND!!!!  YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  (condolences, Katie . . . at least you get three days, lol)

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So I was looking for some cutesy silly Valentine's Day thing to put here . . . but then I got distracted by the best thing ever.  You're welcome.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Once Upon a Midget

Previously we admired how hot Lancelot was a then were sad when he turned out to be dead.  And Ruby relearned how to be a wolf. And Rumplilocks kinda went crazy.  And Hurley was large . . . er than normal.  And that brings us to today.

~ Daddy Charming is in quite the snarky mood.

~ Awwww, and a sweet one.  Cute.

~ Rumplilocks reverting to his cursed self begs the question of just how cursed he was to begin with.

~ But with that I suppose we'll probably never really know.

~ Cool intro.

~ Snow, let's be honest.  Everything looks good on your husband.  (Or not on, as the case may be, lol)

~ And we have our first entry for Charming line of the episode.

~ Dude, Regina is so faking all this.

~ I'm thinking this episode is going to be all about how much I love Charming.

~ For example, Charming is dying to kill Hook for those cracks about his daughter.  You can totally see it in his eyes.

~ Giant Hurley . . . is not so giant . . . #confused

~ A world in which Hurley is Tiny is a large world indeed.

~ Quite the rational argument he's making.  I wonder what happened to change his mind.

~ Dang, first Chip and now the harp . . . minor characters are falling all over the place these days!

~ Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand look at Tiny grow!

~ Travel size.  Heh.

~ I'm not a hat person, but I want Snow's beret.

~ Looks like part of Hurley's change of heart had something to do with Charming's twin.

~ Really intrigued by Belle's Storybrook identity.  What was she thinking all that time she was locked up?

~ And Charming makes the connection.  Ten points to him. :-)

~ But I called it first.

~ Dang, Not-Charming was a playboy.  Bet Josh Dallas had a blast filming this scene(s).

~ Why would one toast so heartily as to leave half the drink on the floor?  I've never understood that.

~ See, Not-Charming's girl-toy is oozing with the cleavage in this outfit almost exactly like Belle's from before.  Still gratuitous, but not as obnoxious because it fits the little we know of her character thus far.

~ Jabberwock?!?!  Girl-toy is Alice?!?!?!?!?!?!  Holy crap, she better not be.  Alice is to smart to be Not-Charming's girl-toy.

~ Okay, now Jack is a girl?  That I can get behind. (also, the oozing boobs fit the character of a girl Jack than an Alice)

~ Clever segue.  I wonder how much the Ewan MacGregor the Hottie Jack the Giant Slayer movie payed to get that smooth move.

~ So cool to see Rumplilocks bewildered.  I hope they really play up the Rumplilocks culture shock the whole time he's out in the world.

~ And Rumplilocks says what we're all thinking about the shoe thing.

~ So it's contact with the shawl that's keeping him Rumplilocks?

~ That had to be traumatizing.

~ And Henry?  Is me.  I would be after the (not)Cinnabon too.

~ What do you want to bet that's Cora playing Regina?

~ Dude, I have never seen that much traffic in Storybrook.  Where's everyone going all the sudden now that Hurley's about?

~ And it all goes wrong in 3 . . . 2 . . .

~ I really like the twist they're giving to Jack and the Beanstalk.

~ It's going to be really interesting wondering whether it's Cora or Regina every time we see Regina.

~ More Alice food.  This strikes me as the appropriate time to mention I've always wanted to go to Wonderland just to spend the entire time there eating everything to see what happened.

~ Airport bathroom.  So many questionable jokes.

~ And that was the last thing I ever would have guessed.

~ Uh oh.  Was that from leaving Storybrook or taking off the shawl?

~ All of these Valentine's commercials would have me going out to buy a bunch of chocolate if I didn't know I was going to have fifty pounds of it handed to me for free in a few days.

~ I was going to say that Hurley's a crappy liar, but then he didn't even try to lie.

~ Okay, the gray bearded giant just called Hurley his brother, but I was totally thinking that was his dad.  Now I'm confused.

~ Speaking of . . . where are all the girl giants?  Where do giant babies come from?

~ Yeah, I'm not sure I'd believe Charming's story.

~ "Kind of out of town."  That's kind of an awesome line.  Charming has a run for his money for best line.

~ Charming's name really is David!!!!! I CALLED IT!!!!!!!  I CALLED IT PRACTICALLY A YEAR AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  A HUNDRED POINTS TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ Also - the bit where Grumpy was trying to figure out Charming/James/David's name?  Grumpy wins.  Line(s) of the night.

~ (Also: totally backs up my theory that Regina was never as thoroughly evil as Cora or Rumplilocks.  A thoroughly evil person would not have given David his name back, notwithstanding the part where no one would have known about the good deed of it.)

~ So the beans can take you to realms other than the giant realms?  How exactly does that work?

~ I like your style Snow.  Giant's about to die, but you take a moment to make out with your hot prince husband.

~ Depressing . . . and then profound.  All awards to the screenwriters!

~ Speaking of awards, a great big one to whoever made the decision to put that lovely shot of Charming's butt in! :-D

~ And it would appear that the Jack fairytale is going to be a one-off.

~ Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand TA DA!!  We have a way back to FTL!

~ Love how Charming's all excited and Snow's all conflicted.  Things are going to get really interesting if/when they get to the point of actually going back.

~ Maybe they can go back and forth?  There's going to be a bunch of people on both sides of the coin, but they're also going to want to stay and touch.

~ Speaking of staying in touch, let me take this moment to register MY OFFICIAL CAPS LOCK RANT ABOUT THE DISTINCT LACK OF AUGUST, ASHLEY, AND KATHERINE IN THIS EPISODE.  WHERE THE CRAP ARE THEY, DANGIT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

~ And that all caps rant has just reminded me that they will certainly be no Henry calling Charming and Snow by their appropriate appellations as long as he's out of town.  Sad day.

~ Let us drink to the swift return of the possibility of Rule #2's!

~ I love Grumpy.

~ Awww, cute, they gave him a dwarf ax.

~ Wait . . . where did they get a dwarf ax?

~ Okay, humming High Ho is definitely worth a drink.  Think we just found rule #6.

~ Real world guy and Belle?  File this under things that can't end well.

~ Cut to Emma and Henry crashing on Flight 815 . . . lol . . .

~ Spot on with the more frosting thing, kid.  And props on getting the cool mom who'll buy you a whole box of airport priced cinnamon rolls.  :-P

~ That . . . was perhaps the least scream inducing ending of an episode that I've ever seen.  Dang.

~ Okay, going on the previews I'ma go on record now: I don't want Bae and Neal to be the same person.  I wouldn't be surprised if it happened . . . in fact, I'm kind of expecting it, but I'm hoping not.

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Fun (barely slightly) related story: for some reason the choir at my high school had a thing for this song.  Like, they sang it every few years.  Anyway, a year or two after I graduated the Madrigals sang it, and as a joke they all got on the edge of the stage and knelt on their shoes like they were really short.  Now it just so happens that one of the girls in the group at the time was(/is) legally considered a midget . . . meaning she's, like, 4'10'' or something right around there.  So as soon as they all got down on their knees everyone started yelling for her to stand up, which it quickly became clear was the plan all along because she was put between the two tallest guys and when she did stand up . . . yeah, she was still shorter than them.  (side note: saw a picture of her a couple of years ago on facebook holding her daughter who was in a blessing [i.e. Mormon christening] dress.  The dress was longer than she [the choir girl/mom, not the baby] was tall.)

In other short news, when we went to Hobbiton five years ago the tour guide told us what the height requirement for hobbits was when they were filming.  I don't remember what it was, but Shayla was exactly the maximum height.  Not only could she have been a hobbit, she would have been a tall hobbit! :-)

Anyway.  It's funny 'cause, like, Hurley's a short giant, you know. Haha, I'm so clever, I bet no one in the whole wide world ever thought of that one before!!!

Sorry.  Sometimes I just have to go for the obvious (and bad) joke.