Once Upon Haituses (Hiati?) Suck (Or: Her Mother's Chin and Her Father's Tact)

Anyone still out there?  It was a long, less than Charming break.  But now the Charmings are back, and here's hoping for some awesome Charming reactions and Henry finally calling his elders what a kid his age should.  :-)

Everybody remember the rules?  Then grab your drink (I'm thinking we're going to need strong ones) and let's go back to Storybrooke!  (Is it spelled with an E at the end?  I can never remember, and we don't see it written down quite enough for it to stick with me.)


~ They are really going for the Hook-Jack Sparrow parallels, aren't they?

~ Is that the dwarf that tried leaving town?  I'm thinking yes.

~ Well so much for "Snow White and the SEVEN Dwarfs" . . .

~ The opening credits thing is Pongo?  Calling it - Jiminy's going to play a big part this week.

~ Ummmm . . . hello steamy scene.  These are soooooooooooo not Uncle Walt's fairy tales.

~ Well this scene has become fifty shades of awkward.  I'm calling it a rule #2!  As soon as I can drink without choking on laughter anyway.

~ FTL Regina has the best outfits.  Loving her version of armor!

~ Although Charming is giving her a run for her money with that sweet cloak . . .

~ I love Granny.

~ In fact, new rule.  When Granny is awesome, we toast!  (I wonder how many rules we'll have by the time this show ends . . . )

~ Rule #1!  Drink!

~ Famous last words, Charming.  Famous.  Last.  Words.

~ Fun fact: Grumpy is played by the guy who plays Pintel in Pirates. (the bald pirate who hangs with the one with the wooden eye)  How awesome is that?  And how did I miss it for a season and a half?  It's so obvious now that I know!

~ Nice comeback with the red pepper flakes crack, Regina.  I love that Emma is trying to include her.  I really think Cora's going to end up being the arch-villain here and a big chunk of the story is going to be Regina's redemption.  And I like that.

~ See?  See?  With the getting mad thing and then immediately regretting it thing and the apologizing thing?  Regina's not evil, she's just a little twisted.  Cora though . . . she is all sorts of messed-up-crazy-evil.

~ As evidenced by that line right there.

~ For the record, Regina is totally justified in being mad at Cricket Man.

~ PhD awarded by a curse . . . that's kind of a brilliant line, not gonna lie.

~ Dude, Charming's FTL outfit this episode just reeks of fairy tale manliness.  :-)

~ Where is this in the timeline exactly?  Post-wedding, pre-pregnant with Emma?  Or pre-wedding?  I wish they were clearer about things like that.

~ Calling it.  That's Cora, not Regina.

~ What did I tell you?  I love it when I'm right, lol.

~ If Jiminy is dead, it will completely ruin the Pinocchio family reunion that has to be coming because I said so.  The one that has to happen EVEN THOUGH WE STILL HAVEN'T SEEN AUGUST YET AND HAVE NO IDEA WHERE HE IS!!! GAH!!!!!!

~ CALL HIM GRANDPA, HENRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ No, No, NO!  I refuse to believe in the death of the Cricket!!!!  TEAM ARCHIE LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ Ooooh, some father/daughter good cop/bad cop.  Nice!

~ FTL Regina looks so young without her hair all fancified.  You know, in the original (the super old one) the stepmother isn't that much older than Snow White.  It's logical to think that it's the same case here.

~ So is Rumplilocks going to save Regina or is she going to disapperate herself?

~ Didn't see that coming . . . interesting call, Snow.

~ I'm intrigued.  Snow saved Regina because she remembered her being good . . . but Mary Margaret condemns her because she remembers her being evil.  Fascinating.  I love this show!

~ Yay, we get some Belle!!

~ And some Rumplilocks wit.  This episode is officially as awesome as usual.

~ Or they could, you know, have Ruby talk to Pongo.  Then they wouldn't have to use magic.  Why are they overlooking the obvious?

~ The dream catcher effect is nice though.

~ I suppose it would have been a little too convenient if Pongo could see through dark magic disguises, wouldn't it?

~ Wait, where did they find more fairy dust?

~ Wait, if the king is dead and Regina has been more or less deposed, shouldn't Snow and Charming be King and Queen, not Prince and Princess?

~ Okay, so we're still pre-wedding.  But the question stands as far as Snow's concerned.

~ Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad idea, Snow!

~ Told ya so.

~ That was interesting.

~ Wait, if they've got the protection spell against Regina, shouldn't that have blocked the curse from even happening?

~ See, see?  She called it her kingdom?  Why isn't she Queen?

~ Other than, you know, the whole cultural connotation of Princess = good, Queen = bad and the whole stupid Madonna/Whore dichotomy . . . but that's a rant we shan't be getting into today.

~ Ummmmm . . . at least they tried?

~ So . . . I'm guessing that now's just about the right time for Cora to make her appearance.  Right after the commercial, I mean.

~ Awwwwww, Charming is so sweet!!  (and hot, but I suppose that's unrelated at the moment)

~ Okay, now is the perfect moment for Cora to show up.

~ I want Regina's FTL wardrobe.  That is all.

~ Rumplilocks, I see your loophole, but isn't the curse technically harming Snow and Charming?

~ I don't get your umbrella, Cora, but I like it.

~ Is Milha on the ship?  Or Bae?

~ OR AUGUST?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

~ Okay, clearly I never would have guessed it was Jiminy.  But I told you he wasn't dead, didn't I?

~ So . . . good question, Hook.  Who is dead?

~ ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

These people really know where to end an episode, don't they?  Gah!  Counting down the minutes until next week . . .


P. ost  S. cript
Can we just take a moment to remember how awesome this movie is?  Because seriously, it's pretty fun.  It's tragic, really, the way you don't see much of it anymore.  (anyone who mentions the live action crap will face a fate the likes of which Cora would come up with, lol.)