Thursday, March 29, 2012

Little Celebrations

Seriously. How does this happen?

So I'm sitting here marveling at the fact that this year is already a quarter of the way done already - and dude, when did that happen? - and thinking of how nice it will be to put this month behind me. Because it has not been particularly pleasant. No major catastrophes or anything, but lots of little things that have just piled up and piled up to make it a stressful month. Can I just say that whoever came up with the idea of kicking off April with spring break was a freaking genius? I know everyone is burned out and ready for this break.

But anyway. I'm taking today to celebrate one of the few little moments of win from this month. And to channel my inner dork . . . or perhaps just my inner Katie, as those of you who know her will see the parallel. :-)


So a couple of weeks ago we made our lovely little bi-annual trip to Layton to keep the warranty on the most expensive thing we own up to date. And since these trips are some of the few times we get a change of scene we like to make a bit of a day of it, always eating out somewhere that isn't an option around here like Jason's Deli or In'N'Out. And I always, ALWAYS get a large lemonade from Hot Dog on a Stick for the road. Because their lemonade is seriously the nectar of the gods. Even better than Chik-fil-a's lemonade, and we all know how awesome that stuff is, don't we? :-)

I have no idea exactly how big their large lemonades are . . . other than to say that one can use the restroom at the Layton Hills Mall right before purchasing one and if one drinks the entire thing ("if" . . . ha!) during the drive back home by the time one reaches one's destination, one is likely to be hurrying into the house. (tmi? sorry . . . )

Perhaps one should let Luke take more than a couple of sips . . . nah. :-)


So Luke's getting a Blizzard for the road (because Dairy Queen? another thing we can't get around here - LAME!) and I'm getting my lemonade when I happen to spy the one-way ticket to my personal nirvana:


Large lemonades? Cost $3. This baby? To quote a certain Brandy, it's bigger than my head (and a large), costs $4 and refills are $2 for the lifetime of the cup. Which means it will totally pay for itself come September. And you better believe I'll be making the most of the whole "lifetime of the cup" thing. In fact, we may have to make a trip to Salt Lake sometime soon just to get a refill. (and, you know, to check out the whole City Creek thing and stuff . . . but mostly for the lemonade.) And you better believe that the last thing I do on my deathbed will be to send someone out to refill it one last time. The only question will be, do I go with regular lemonade, cherry lemonade, or lime lemonade?

It's the tough questions like that that make you appreciate having time to plan your demise. :-)

Also - today my grandest dream is to get a Hot Dog on a Stick in this town so I can go get a refill everyday. (see what I mean about channeling my inner Katie, lol?)

Anyway. Here's to a brighter, cheerier, sunnier April. And lots of lemonade.

P. ost S. cript

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

My Lord, I Only Laugh Just to Keep from Weeping

Ten points if you can name that movie quote.

The good news is I'm feeling a bit better today. Of course, that might be because I've taken more ibuprofen in the last three days than I've taken in the last three months . . . but whatever works.


So it turns out the school has this policy that if a kid brings a cell phone to school they're supposed to check it in at the office in the morning and they can get it back at the end of the day. And it turns out that not a lot of the kids are obeying that policy. My guess is because they didn't even know about it because I had never heard of it before today, but then again I'm not exactly on the need-to-know end of the spectrum on this one. But still.


So the "detention" teacher (for lack of a better all-encompassing and non-explanation needing term) comes into 5th grade today and explains the policy to the kids and says if any of them have cell phones they need to give them to her now. At this point I'm thinking we're the last class she's going to because the pocket of her hoodie is practically hanging down to her knees.

Nope. Something like EIGHT kids go to their backpacks to get phones and it sounds like that's about the norm for all the classes. The teacher totally started laughing at this point . . . although I'm not sure if he was laughing in shock or at the fact that my jaw literally dropped in shock.

I can't imagine how these phones are being paid for . . . Luke and I both have pretty bare bones plans and we barely manage to keep our total bill under triple digits, but the kids were talking about all the games and apps and internet things they use their phones for (in fact, I don't think one of them actually uses theirs as an actual phone) so they've got to have bills two ro threes times are combined total.

However, my story today is much more amusing.

Shortly after this little exchange the kid I was working with, Claudio (of the inadvertently hilarious wit), who's parents he says told him he can have a cell phone when he pays for it. My response? "Well, what would you do with one anyway? Who are you going to call?"

I kid you not, this kid didn't miss a beat. He throws his hands up in the air and exclaims "Ghostbusters!!!"

It was seriously like he knew that question was coming and was waiting patiently for me to ask so he could respond that way and make me laugh. It may be a little conceited of me to say so, but it seriously feels like he and a couple other boys are constantly wandering my way to say something they've rehearsed and try to make sound natural just hoping I'll laugh. It's kind of cute.


A few minutes later Claudio mentions that Mr. Cox didn't get his phone taken away, in a tone that implied he should have. Now, the detention teacher made it quite clear that the policy applied only to kids, so naturally my reply was that Mr. Cox is not a kid.

"He's not married!"

Kid logic, amirite? It's a good thing Claudio's okay with being laughed at. :-)

(confession: this is totally the first thing that popped into my head when he said that.)

P. ost S. cript
Onion videos totally make up for not being able to watch The Daily Show. :-)
(very brief language, if that's a thing for you)

Monday, March 19, 2012

Goodbye, Cruel World

Shari - you totally need to get these.

You guys, I really think this winter is going to kill me. Or at least that Old Man Winter is trying to.

In case I haven't convinced you that I am a complete freak of nature - remember how I apparently have synesthesia? Yeah, 'nother story like that. But not nearly as pleasant.

Again, coming from the I-thought-everybody-was-like-this-until-Luke-gave-me-weird-looks file, sometimes when I get sick my skin gets super-hypersensitive. Like, ridiculously so. Like, enormously sensory overloaded so. It's really hard to describe, so bear with me, m'kay?

Anyway, you know how you can feel you clothes against your skin? (please, save the DUH! moments for the end) But it's such a normal and constant sensation that your brain just tunes it out? When I get sick it's like my brain can't do that. Everything I touch sends this woosh of sensory info to my brain. Every time I shift my weight I feel my clothes brushing against me - every inch of my shirt against every inch of my back. It's a really weird tingling feeling . . . the most bizarre combination of pleasant/painful I've ever encountered. On one level it's a slight tickle that might make one relax a little . . . on the other there's so much of it that my brain just can't handle it and it starts registering it as painful instead.

Clearly, I belong in a circus.

Anyway. I have never gotten that hypersensitivity without some sort of accompanying illness, usually a stomach flu or something for a day or two. The two always, always go together.

Until yesterday, when I woke up with super sensitive skin and kind of achy all over. And other than that . . . nothing. And today . . . still sensitive but otherwise nothing.

I? Have no idea what's going on. It's confusing and kind of obnoxious. And because I can think of no other culprit, I'm totally blaming the fact that it was gloomy yesterday and snowed last night after a whole week of lovely spring-like conditions. Dude, I was going around without a jacket last week and today I needed my coat! We all know what an old lady I am mentally, apparently my body has just decided to catch up or something. Blargh.

So anyway - if you happen to see me somewhere around this week and it looks like I'm walking around in a daze just know that my clothes are still too . . . I don't know, heavy? present? . . . for me to register much else. Work this week is going to be interesting.

P. ost S. cript
Honestly, I've lost count of how many times I've watched this since it showed up on facebook. It's just that awesome. Also: do frogs have teeth? (file under: burning questions you didn't know you wanted to know)

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Face, Meet Palm

Remember, remember back in November when it was (sort of, briefly) all about Georgette?

She's back. And maybe this will turn out to be one of those-you-had-to-be-there-and-know-the-girl moments, but I'm still laughing and this happened four hours ago now.

Anyway, quick background: the fifth graders have a daily assignment that they do first thing in the morning. They turn it in, it gets corrected over lunch, and after lunch I spend my time pulling them back and helping them correct the things they get wrong. One of the problems today involved a sentence with multiple grammatical errors that they were to rewrite correctly. Among other things, it involved replacing "buyed" with "bought" and as Georgette and I were going over the spelling of bought, the conversation devolved into us being a little silly and this happened:

Georgette: I know how to spell (some word or other I've already forgotten)!! C-O-O-L!

Me: No, that's how you spell Miss Lacey.

(oh the lulz, no?)

Georgette: Well, you wanna know how to spell awesome? G-E-O-R-G-O-T-T-E. Wait!! I mean E-T-T-E!!!

Me: *blink blink* Georgette . . . did you just . . . misspell your own name . . . ?

Georgette: NO!! No! . . . maybe . . . yes . . .

Why is it these kids only make me laugh when during those rare moments when the rest of the class is silent?!?!

Don't get me wrong, I love this girl. She's a sweetheart, and really smart when she tries. But bless her heart, she's also the entire reason the stereotype of the dumb blonde was created.

P. ost S. cript
Sometimes I wish I was good at building stuff. Can you believe this thing is gravity powered?!?