Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Oh, There You Are Halloween.

????  No idea whatsoever.

As we all know, it's just not Halloween around here unless there is some sort of costume drama, no matter how minor.  So here's this year's story.

Back in August we popped into DI for a little while to kill some time before catching a movie.  At which point the brilliant idea occurred to me - hey, school is starting soon, and when school starts it's practically Halloween and I need an awesome Halloween costume and stuff at DI is cheap so I should totally look for a costume here and now.

So I did.  And on the rack of white dresses I found this great one - part of the '70s retro pioneer-ish looking style era.  (and can I just take a moment to ask the people who were around then - what was up with that fashion trend?  was it just because Little House on the Prairie was so popular or what?)

Anyway.  Just as I found it, we had to leave in order to catch the movie on time, so I just figured I come back quickly and check it out.  I'm sure you all know where this is going . . . yeah, it was totally gone.  But there  were a couple of others, while not quite as awesome and perfect, that would do quite well.

They didn't fit.  Too small.

So I tried on a couple of the cute, cheap wedding dresses (because if I'm'a spend seventy bucks on a Halloween costume I'm getting an actual Halloween costume, you know?).

Too small.

So I tried on some '80s-tastic-ish looking formal dresses.


At this point, allow to mention that not only have I apparently developed the shoulders of a football player on steroids somehow over the last four-ish years - I have also apparently developed the hips of an ancient fertility goddess statue somewhere along the line as well.  Seriously, when did that happen?  HOW did that happen?!?!  I thought that sort of thing was supposed to stop when you hit, like, 20 or whatever.  GAH!!!!

(specifically not mentioning: how I recently emptied out literally half of my wardrobe, some of it because I just don't wear it any more but most of it because I'm finally being honest with myself and admitting I'm never going to fit into it again.  and then Plato's Closet wouldn't take a thing.  I very nearly cried and considered eating several pounds of chocolate because I felt so very fat.)

Now to clarify, all these clothes-trying-on incidents were not all on the same day.  By this point it was the end of September and I was feeling the whispers of last year's "oh crap" mode.  So DI became the place with the motto of "abandon hope all ye who enter here" which was kind of sad seeing as it's provided some key costume pieces the last couple of years (well, only so far as one considers "pants" or "a shirt" key, lol).  And just to prove how desperate I was suddenly feeling, we actually went to check out the Halloween City store.  Yeah, having no idea even of what to do I was feeling slightly frantic.  But we went, and it is a fun store to wander around in.  Even if it is long on Slut-oween costumes and short on school-kosher/Mormon-kosher costumes.  There were a few, and even some I really kind of liked . . . but I was a bit hesitant to drop fifty buck on a costume even though Luke was willing to splurge.

Then . . . the miracle happened.  At least that's what it seemed like.  See, we went in on one of the first days after they opened, so most of the stuff they had out was leftover inventory from last year because they hadn't gotten a lot of the new stuff yet.  And in the hat/accessory aisle there just happened to be one brown, perfect fedora.  And having just come from Hastings (since it's right next door) I had my awesome, brilliant, huge hit of an idea.

A-GENT P!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  (if you didn't sing that in your head, I'm not sure we can remain friends)

So we snatch up the fedora, and Hastings has the t-shirt with Perry's face on it but we go back and check and it's a decidedly blue colored shirt and Perry is decidedly turquoise in color so I decide to look online for a truly, accurately, tinted tunic.

You may have noticed the shirt I wore today is decidedly blue.

Perry noticed too.

A couple of things I've learned this month:

1: this exact shirt, when sold in a child's size is accurately colored.  There does not exist a correctly colored version in adult sizes.  Anywhere.

2: the amazon seller from which I ordered mine probably put up a picture of a child's shirt because depicted a turquoise colored shirt in both picture and verbal description.  I? Am kind of heartbroken.

At this point we're talking about, like, ten days ago on our little time line, so I do my best to make a lemonade or whatever.  (but really, couldn't life give you limes once in a while?  I really rather prefer limeade.) Having already planned on wearing the pants you see here - because let's face it, the odds of finding pants in the right color are slim to none and I'd really rather continue to believe that such a pair of pants doesn't actually exist - I decided to go with the costume "Perry the Slightly Off-Color Platypus."  At least in my head.

Perry approves.  So we're friends again.  :-)

Anyway.  As I mentioned, I was a hit.  Again.  :-)

I hadn't even been in the building five minutes before I heard whispers coming from the kindergartners lining up to go down to the spook alley.  Perry! Perry the Platypus! It's Perry! Look, she's Perry the Platypus! 

It's always nice to have your day made the moment it starts.

Also - did I mention that I have three second graders that all have Perry shirts?  (one of whom has my exact shirt except IN THE RIGHT COLOR! GRRRRRR!)  It just so happens that all their names start with a letter that rhymes with P so when one of them wears his shirt I call them Agent D/G/T and they get a huge kick out of it.  I got the impression that I may have made their lives today, lol.

It was a great day.  Even the older kids new who I was and thought I was pretty awesome.  I spent the morning scaring kids as a pair of disembodied hands reaching for them.  Then the fog machine fumes gave me a bit of a migraine (can you tell from the pictures?  I look almost as bad as I did in the Yellowstone pics!  Gah!) so after lunch I switched out and escorted just in time to have a bunch of second and third graders clinging to me and making it hard to walk.  So, you know, business as usual.  Right down to the second grade boys who act all tough every day in class but only moved through the whole thing because I pretty much did the walking for them.  But once we got out of course, one of them was all "that wasn't even scary" while the other one was still talking about how he wanted his mom while he was in there.  (I will admit these were two of my favorites even before this, but seriously they are two cuties!)  And then there was the third grade girl who only got about a dozen steps in before she was holding my hand and had her face buried in my side so I had to put my other arm around her just to keep her walking in the right direction.  That was a new one . . . I feel kind of bad.

Fun story with that trip: the spook alley starts by going down stairs to the basement, and it's not uncommon for kids to get to the bottom of the stairs and then bail and run back up and out.  Which happened with another girl who was holding my hand, which is how I had a free hand to guide the other girl the rest of the way through.  Anyway, we get to the end and get out and one of the other girls is like "hey, where's (the girl who bailed)?" but I was the only one who knew she's bailed because we were at the back so the other two adults didn't know where she was and for, like, a split second I didn't know because I haven't worked with any of the third graders since they were in first grade so it took me a second to connect the name to the face of the girl who went back.  So Mary and Katie are just looking at me and it was one of those moments that feels like it lasts for years but was really not even a full second and then I'm all, "oh, she went back at the stairs" and we had our little "oh no, I thought the Garbage Monster might have gotten her" moment.  And it was amusing. 

So it was fun.  And now it's over.  And sometime in the next couple of days I'm going to hit up Halloween City again and snatch up one of those kosher costumes for half price or (hopefully) more and then with any luck there won't be any costume dramas next year (other than, like Downton Abbey or something).  Unless my shoulders and hips manage to double in size again in the next 364 days.  Which I'm beginning to think is not impossible.  :-(

P. ost  S. cript
Best Halloween movie ever, or Absolute Best Halloween movie ever?  We watched it Monday . . . hadn't seen it in years, and I'd forgotten how much I love it.  Either way, this is definitely my favorite part of Mickey's Not-So-Scary Halloween Party.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

So Here It Is

Soooooooooooooooooo . . . it's practically November.  And I did not forget my New Year's Resolution.  Which means it's, like, time to start.  Thursday.

Oh boy.

Now that it's here I am SO anxious.  I have a story line that I'm pretty sure is decent enough.  My main characters are about as fleshed out as they can get without actually writing anything about them.  Heck, I've even got my multiple word count widgets over there >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> so everybody can keep track of how it's going.  Because you're all totally going to be waiting with baited breath to see the word count every day.  Lol.

On the other hand . . . talk about rotten timing with the whole adding-a-potentially-lengthy-presidency-meeting-every-week thing.  Blargh.

Also: I've only done 50,000 words once.  Granted, I have done it, so do at least have an idea of what I'm in for.  But only once, it was seven years ago, and it took an entire semester.  I suppose a semester isn't all that much more than a month . . . but it feels like a lot more.

And then there's the part where I have to type it all in the first place (because counting each and every hand-written word just isn't going to happen).  Not sure how that's going to go.  My hands are itching to grab a luxuriously thick-inked, brightly colored gel pen and get going - but my pile of notebooks shall remain empty this time.  Sad day.

Anyway.  Starting this weekend I'll be going into hiding (well, even more, I guess I should say).  Feel free to start taking bets on whether I'll even survive. :-)

See you on the other side.

P. ost  S. cript
Here's hoping I retain this much sanity come December 1.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Once Upon a Science?

Previously: Charming was hot, Regina was conflicted, and I decided I refuse to believe Lancelot is actually dead.  Cora's totally lying and she's got him hidden somewhere.

~ What is up with this rivalry or whatever between Aurora and Snow?  I hope we see an explanation for that eventually.

~ Cora ripped out/powderized all those hearts?  I think that means we just chug the whole drink now and get a new one.

~ Ummmmm . . . hello Hook.

~ That was an awesome punch.

~ I'm not sure it was technically deserved though.  But there are not many things Charming can't get away with in my book.

~ So Regina's going through withdrawal?  I like . . .

~ If FTL isn't Whale's land, then what is Whale doing in Storybrook?

~ She brought who she wanted?  Intriguing . . .

~ What is a unicorn doing that close Rumplilocks?  No way is he a young maiden.

~ Attempt at powderizing a heart = take a sip?

~ Dead but frozen?  Like Uncle Walt beneath the castle?  Lol.

~ CALL HIM GRANDPA HENRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ Again, what are they mining?

~ It appears we have a missing body . . . I'm thinking maybe Daniel is Whale's brother?

~ Wait, what?  Jefferson?  Why are you here?

~ I would take a much bigger pile of gold, personally.  Seeing as Rumplilocks can just spin more anytime.

~ I'm not surprised Regina forgot she was the queen.  I kind of had myself.

~Wreck-It Ralph seriously looks really cute.

~ Dude, what is Hook's deal?  Quite the fake fall from grace he's playing at.

~ I see Emma's learned about FTL appropriate weapons.

~ "Off we shall go to see the wizard"?  I thought Jefferson was from Wonderland, not Oz.

~ Frankenstein.  Called it!  Of course, it was pretty obvious after last week's promo.

~ Wonderland - I like.  Neverland - I like.  Oz - I'm okay with.  Frankenstein . . . I really don't know that I like it.  I mean, Frankenstein is based in our world where all the others are . . . you know, in their own land.

~ Is this before or after she killed the king?  Because I fail to see a point in bringing Danial back if she's still married to the king.  Unless, I suppose, they allow divorce in FTL.

~ Who's heart got used?  And what do you want to bet Regina has to kill Monster-Daniel? (Maniel?  Donster?)

~ CHARLIE BROWN IS ON WEDNESDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ Why is Jefferson tagging along to get the heart?

~ Holy motherlode of hearts Batman.

~ I think we need to take a drink for sheer powderizing potential.

~ "You have hearts here?!"  Charming line of the week.  Not as good as the others, but he just as THE best reactions to everything.

~ Did Regina just call him David?  She called him Charming last time.

~ Should have seen that coming.  Henry's going to get to try out those sword skills sooner than he thought.

~ These Chanel No. Pitt commercials are just getting weirder.

~ Another Hook-ish shout-out to Captain Sparrow.  I love it.

~ An enchanted compass?  That's taking a little too much from Pirates, no?

~ Loved the argument between Charming and Regina.  Talk about brilliant casting.

~ What land is Frankenstein supposed to be from anyway?

~ Soooooooooo . . . Regina's been collecting hearts all this time in hopes that one of them will be strong enough to bring Daniel back?

~ The one that got used appears to have been a little too strong.

~ Yeah, saw that whole "let me go" thing coming, didn't we?

~ What did he say?  Love again?

~ So this whole show happened because she couldn't let go of Daniel in the first place and now she just vanishes him like that?  Not sure how I feel about that . . .

~ Grilled onions?  McDonald's, you have found my weakness!

~ Wait.  Beanstalk?  What?

~ Does Regina have any non-mayoral clothes?  I'd love to see her in something more casual.

~ Rule 4 - DRINK!

~ I love how Jiminy Cricket is totally embracing his Storybrook identity.

~ Waaaaaaaaaait . . . holy double cross Batman!

~ Did NOT see that coming.

~ Who's heart did Rumplilocks just give him?!?!

~ Rule 3 - DRINK! (close enough)

~ Okay, that "charge an arm and a leg" line was seriously genius.

~ I love how they haven't called Frankenstein by his actual name this whole time and now Rumplilocks calls him Victor . . . since it's not necessarily common knowledge that that really is his first name.  Nicely done.

~ And of course we had to use the "it's alive" line.

~ That's it?

~ The fact that Hurley is the giant makes me happier than it probably should.

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm . . . anyone else a little underwhelmed this week?  I feel like they tried to hard to make an awesome Halloween episode and in the process lost sight of what made for an awesome Once Upon a Time episode in general.  And I can't help but wonder if the writers knew from the beginning that Whale was Frankenstein or if they decided to go with that in order to do a Halloween episode.  And I'm not really sure which version I like less.  Hopefully things get back on track next week with the Emma back story.

P. ost  S. cript
Never gets old . . . except on the days where Charlie Brown is the GPOY to end all GPOYs.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

This is the Part I've Been Dreading

So it turns out when you're one of the grown-ups and they split the ward and have to replace all the people that are gone . . . you're, like, one of the ones they use to replace those people.

In other news, I am now the Primary Secretary.  And it's pretty much the most "important" calling I've had since Laurel class president.

(disclaimer the first: yeah, yeah, all callings are important and all that jazz.  You know what I mean.)

I . . . am kinda slightly intimidated.  I mean, I know it's just the kids and whatever.  But eleven-year-olds are a bit harder to satisfy than toddlers.  And quite frankly I would have been rather content staying in nursery for quite some time.  Snack time, play time, and lessons about sharing instead of thinly veiled political arguments.  Admit it, I had you all at snack time.  :-)

On the other hand, I don't have to go back to Relief Society . . . and I have to admit I don't particularly care for this ward's.  After four and half months of introducing myself every. single. week. going into nursery was quite the relief.  And it was every week - someone would come and say "oh, are you new? Is this your first week?"  and I'd be all "well, we're new but it's our third month here," and they'd be all surprised and stuff and it was the same people introducing themselves every week and I wouldn't have minded if they had been saying things like "I know I've seen you here before but I don't remember your name" but there was seriously no recognition at all.  At all.  I'd be introducing myself to the same person for the third time in six weeks and absolutely no shred of acknowledgment that Id ever been seen before whatsoever.  No ringing bells at the sound of my name.  No "aha!" moment when I mention that, yes, I did stand up and introduce myself to everyone - clear back in April.  Nothing.

I mean, it's not like I was expecting everyone to remember my entire life story - but am I really that forgettable?

Don't answer that.

Anyway . . . yeah.  Secretary.  I?  Am not secretarial.  No idea what I'm doing.  And the primary program is next week.  And I'm going to have to do, like lessons, right?  Like, sharing time?  With everybody?  And it's just me up there?  Yeah I see NOOOOOOOOO way that could possibly go cataclysmically wrong. < end sarcasm >

On the plus side, it's not like it's a particularly visible calling if you know what I mean.  Except, you know, the part where the primary program is this Sunday.  And I'll probably end up sitting up there with all these kids I've never spoken too and don't know any names and all the parents will be expecting me to keep them in line and know when to pull which one up for their part and I don't have a clue which one's Jonny and which one's Sally so I'll look utterly incompetent and they'll all be hounding the bishop to release that terrible secretary . . . who hasn't even spent a single minute in primary yet.

(actually . . . maybe that's not an all bad scenario, lol?)

One more thing - my Teen Girl Squad bag isn't too sacrilegious to use as a church bag, is it?  Because it would be a whole lot easier to just let my library bag do double duty than to try and find another one I like.  Stick figures aren't sacrilegious, are they?

(disclaimer the second: I'm not complaining, just super nervous and intimidated.)

P. ost  S. cript
Never fails - when you need something to laugh at you re-post this one.  And remember how I actually know the girl in the blue dress.  Like, personally.  We're facebook friends and everything. :-)  (she's blonde in real life . . . bet you never would have guessed, huh?)

Monday, October 22, 2012

Didn't See That One Coming

So with one of my groups on second grade we're reading Cam Jansen books and we started a new one today.  At the beginning Cam & Co are doing a fundraiser for a charity that gives the "homebound elderly people" rides to the library.  At that point I stop and ask the group if they know what elderly means.

Child 1: Grandmas and grandpas.

Child 2: Old people.

Child 3: Really old people.  Like, older than all the teachers.

Child 4: Nearly dead people.

*blink blink*

Well . . . technically . . . comparatively speaking . . . he was right.  I can't imagine his answer would be much appreciated by said nearly dead people though. :-)

It actually reminded me of this conversation I had with a cousin of mine . . . well, I don't remember how long ago it was, but I'm pretty sure I was still in high school, and now he's in high school.  So there's that.  Anyway, it went something like this:

Cousin (five points to the first one to identify him, lol): My mom is old.

Me: So what does that make my mom?

Cousin: Really old.

Me: Well, if Aunt Dawna is really old, what does that make Grandpa and Grandma?

Cousin: Practically dead.

What is it with little kids and old/"dead" people? :-)

P. ost  S. cript
This is totally the kind of old lady I want to be.  (and we're all going to continue to pretend that it was actually the Queen jumping out of the helicopter and not some dude in a peach dress, m'kay?)

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Once Upon a Pirate

Previously: I made a rule page so we can all keep track.

Also: Charming still rocks.

And we're off!

~ I want that necklace.  Wonder where he got it.  Or rather, who he got it from . . .

~ Again, Rumplilocks, lock the door already.


~ Shoulda seen that coming.

~ Did not see the spinning coming . . .

~ Milha has a gambling problem?  Intriguing.

~ She just might turn out to be crueler than Cora - that was harsh!

~ That's it Belle, make him talk!!  Banish those Twilight-y vibes!!

~ Have we seen how Rumplilocks got his limp?  Because if we haven't I want to.

~ Bet it's a code that's more like guidelines than actual rules.  (would such blatant references to other Disney things be too much drinking if we added that to the rules?)

~ Okay, the Brad Pitt Chanal No. 5 commercial is seriously . . . just . . . odd.

~ That . . . is not a dwarf swinging that axe.  I . . . am not complaining. :-D

~ Hottest grandpa I've ever seen.

~ The actor playing Belle's father is disconcertingly familiar but I can't place him for the life of me.

~ I was about to say Mr. Red Hat was Smee because of the red hat . . . but then he starts all talking about magic beans and stuff so maybe Jack of Beanstalk fame?

~ Or maybe he's Peter Pan?  With the spinning time backward and making him a boy again thing?

~ "Kept woman" sounds so far off from how she meant it/where she actually was.  And yet it is not inaccurate.  Giggles.

~ Again, where is Granny's inn?  Where Belle could totally stay?

~ Like the Belle liking books thing.  It's such an obvious thing to include, but it's only a characteristic of the Disney Belle.  Drink or no?

~ That escalated quickly.

~ Hook calls Rumplilocks a crocodile . . . Rumplilocks is about to cut off Hook's hand maybe?

~ Well now they have to show how Milha died.

~ I love that Charming is wearing the badge on his hip like Emma did.

~ Okay, that shot of Charming looking at the picture of Snow and Emma totally counts as an "I-will-find-them."  DRINK!

~ Fun fact: first, is such a fun time-suck of a website.  Second, I was reading an article of theirs recently about things that movies always get wrong and one of them was about sword fighting.  Apparently if you smacked blades together like that as much as they do in movies and tv the blades would totally just snap and if you watch accurate battle/duel reenactments they use the swords for pretty much everything but hitting the other guy's sword.

~ Called it on the hand!

~ Hello Milha.  Awk-ward . . .

~ Belle has an Australian accent . . . her father has some sort of other accent . . . and technically they're French . . . hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm . . .

~ Well that was rather callous, Dad.

~ Have we seen the "turning the butcher into a pig" story?  Because if we haven't I hope we do.

~ "Are you asking dating advice?"  Charming reaction of the week. 

~ Loving Ruby's pants.

~ Forget callous Dad, that's just conniving.  And really inappropriate.  Would you do it to your son?  Seriously.  Not okay.

~ Taking a moment during the FisherPrice Disney castle thing commercial - have you seen the new redesign they've done to the princesses?  I kind of REALLY hate them.  And apparently they're updating the face costumes at the parks to match the redesigns.  Blech.  So mad I never got my Cinderella and Ariel pictures now.

~ Are they trying to mine their way out or what?  Why is everyone mining?

~ I've been wondering about the whole Milha-leaving-Bae thing too, Rumplilocks.

~ We may need to add a powder-izing hearts rule to the game.

~ And a legend is born . . .

~ Okay, either this scene is a mini-shoutout to Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (which kinda goes with the heart powderizing, lol), or a preview for the Seven Dwarves Mine Train Coaster, amirite?  Clever, considering the coaster isn't even supposed to open for, like, two more years.

~ I want a magic magnet, lol.


~ There!  The front desk!  So the inn does still exist, we're just not seeing it.

~ It's a nice library, but I can't say it compares to the one in the movie. :-)

~ Way to be honest, Rumplilocks.

~ So now it's confirned that Bae is here somewhere.  Not that it was that iffy.  But he's apparently been here a long time . . . I wonder how old he is?  Or if he's even still alive?

~ DRINK! (rule 3)

~ It's got to be so weird for Belle - all the memories of FTL, but no experience in our world.  Learning how to use syrup, never had a hamburger . . . trippy.

~ Hook double-crossed . . . shocking, no?

~ So Smee it is.  Yay for instincts!  (gotta admit, for about half a second I expected him to say William Turner, lol)

~ Now there's a Pirates 3 shoutout if ever I saw one.

~ So if Smee is here, is Hook wandering around somewhere too?


~ You know, now that he mentioned it, we didn't see Regina at all this episode.  Weird.

~ Really, they're going the Frankenstein route?  I mean, I know it's Halloween and that's who tons of people were guessing Whale was, but I just never liked it.  And obviously if it's Dr. Frankenstein bringing Daniel back we all know that that is not going to go well.

In conclusion, am I the only person who felt like Hook was totally channeling Jack Sparrow and yet coming up with a completely different character?  I loved it.

P. ost  S. cript
Really, would it be anything else?

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Once Upon an Arthurian

Previously: we created a drinking game.

Rule 1: If any of the Charmings says "I will find (someone)" take a drink.
Rule 2: If there's an "I'm my own grandpa" moment, take a drink.
Rule 3: There's probably going to be a lot more rules coming soon.

Me, I'm on a blueberry kick.  This week it's water with a couple of shots of blueberry lemonade water flavoring syrup.  (have you people tried Mio?  it's pretty good stuff)

~ Is "America's Funniest Home Videos" seriously still on?  Like, this is a new episode I'm catching the end of, not a repeat?  I mean, this show jumped the shark when I was, like, ten.  And 89% of the videos were recorded when I was ten too, and you can totally tell because they have that 90s camcorder date stamp in the corner.  Seriously - who sends their stupid stuff to this show instead of just putting in on youtube like the rest of us normal people.  Also - the set where it was actually, like, a house was better.  But Bob Saget was never especially funny.

~ Previously: drink!

~ So Charming's "I'd say (the army is) pretty close" line? I totally thought exactly that three seconds before he said it.

~ Love Snow's outfit here.

~ Wait, so is Lancelot a bad guy?  There's a plot twist.

~ I love the "present day" caption.  Like we can't tell from Snow's short hair and pink sweater.

~ Now that's a smooth line, Cora.

~ Sharing Henry with Regina is complicated?  You're talking to Regina's mother, this goes way beyond complicated.

~ I prefer Operation Viper personally.

~ CALL HIM GRANDPA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ Rule 3: drink when they say "magic comes with a price."

~ In case you couldn't tell: drink!

~ So apparently Lancelot doesn't stay a bad guy.

~ Aurora . . . I'm intrigued!

~ Well now I want to try a chimera steak.

~ Cora lost her powers?  I'll believe it when I see it.

~ Did he call her La Mulan?  I thought it was Fa Mulan.

~ I wouldn't drink anything King George gave me . . .

~ That cursed drink thing would be suspenseful . . . if, you know, Emma and Henry didn't exist.

~ Well now I'm singing "I'll Make a Man Out of You" . . .

~ I like the idea of a Mulan/Emma rivalry.  Between the "killed a dragon last week" comment and the "pretty sure I've dated a few ogres" comment I imagine it shall be lots of fun.

~ I'd want to see where I was from if I was Emma.

~ Totally thought Snow was talking the Narnia wardrobe for a couple of seconds. 

~ I really hope Emma gets some solo time with Daddy Charming at some point.  There's so much you can do with these relationship, especially one-on-one.  She and HEnry will just have to switch places at some point.

~ Why doesn't Jefferson have his daughter back?  He knew where she was, why didn't he go straight to her?

~ I love the way this show doesn't skirt around all these psychological issues.  It's so real . . . especially for a fairy tale show.

~ Well that was a twisted little bit of sneakery, Henry.  Maybe you're more like Regina than you think.

~ Emma's totally about to get attacked by ogres, isn't she?

~ Love Snow's hair in these flashbacks.  I'm still sad she didn't get it back.

~ I heard it, Charming. 

~ Would these guys really be wearing chain mail if they work for the same guy as Lancelot . . . who wears full armor?

~ Saw that coming.  Bye Charming's mom!


~ Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that's why we don't use guns in FTL, kids.

~ I don't like how Snow is getting treated like the awesome heroine she is but everyone is treating Aurora like a baby.  They're both princesses, and I'm betting they're both just as freaking awesome in a fight.  Aurora just hasn't had the chance to prove it yet.  Give her a chance people!!!

~ Yes, I'm biased.  Aurora is my favorite.  But seriously, they're treating her like she's a baby or something and it just seems a tad over the top without evidence that it's warranted.  You don't assume a girl is helpless until proven otherwise.  You just don't.

~ So Snow's "back away from my daughter" line - totally reminded me of Molly Weasley's "not my daughter" line in Deathly Hallows.  Awesome.  (and I'm willing to bet Aurora could do that to with a little practice)

~ I'm glad they're using that magic water place again.  I wonder if she'll make it that far.

~ This has got to be such an awkward conversation for Snow.

~ You know, this means Snow's been cursed three times.  There's got to be a limit to how many times a person be cursed without having lasting consequences.  Like concussions or something.

~ "What kind of corset is this?"  HA!  Calling it now, best line of the night.  That'll be hard to beat.

~ Figures the lake dried up.  I guess it's a one-time-use thing?

~ So now we know Henry still has the book.

~ I see nothing good coming from this little trip to the vault.

~ And the snakes say I told ya so.


~ Lancelot was raised by a lake?  The lady of the lake?  I'm not up on my Arthurian legend enough for this.

~ Dude, saw that coming from a mile away again.  Bye Charming's mom!

~ Kinda surprised Snow's palace is still as intact as it is.

~ Knights can marry people?  I am really not up on my Arthurian legend.

~ Makes the wedding in the pilot a little redundant, no?

~ Dude, Cora is good.

~ Wait, Lanecelot's dead?  That was short lived.  (and so much for that controversy about a black Lancelot.  did you hear about that?  seriously, the stupidest thing I've ever heard.  learn some history for crying out loud people!)

~ Wait . . . how was Cora in the cell with them and impersonating Lancelot telling the other guards to bring them to him at the same time?  Plot hole?

~ Ummmm . . . Cora?  He's your great-great-grandson.  Get it right already. (drink!)

~ There goes the wardrobe.  That can't be good.

~ Awwwwww, Charming is so sweet.

~ Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand more awkward baby talk.

~ Okay, best favorite line - "We're going to have a child!" "WHAT?"  Charming seriously has the best reactions.

~ But, ummm, how did the curse get broken?

~ Crafty!  Too bad Lancelot is dead, I really like him.

~ Girl power!!  I like this idea of these four taking charge of things. :-)

~ Again with the realism in a fairy tale show - LOVED that moment between Snow and Emma!!!

~ Okay, Cora, what's that?

~ Awwwwww, reunion!  Sweet!!!

~ Awwwwww, grandpa gets swords!  Cute!!!

~ WHO IS THAT IN THE CAR AND HOW DARE YOU END ON THAT SHOT OF A MYSTERIOUS STRANGER?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Next week: finally some Hook action.  And here's a thought to ponder before what is apparently a Rumplilocks-isode:  what happened to Granny's inn?  The one Emma checked into in the pilot and we never saw again?  And how come in the pilot everyone was terrified of Rumplilocks because he owned the town and they all had to pay crazy high rents and stuff but that plot line totally got dropped except for the episode with the nuns and the candle selling and the Grumpy backstory?

P. ost  S. cript

I know more about Arthurian legend than this . . . but not much.  (also: Arthurian is another fun word to say.  We should all work it into conversation more.)

Thursday, October 11, 2012

This Isn't Halloween

So it's been a while since I've gotten in a good old ginormous soap box rant.  And now I'm in the mood for a minor one.

Have you seen this?  It's been several days and I'm still kind of speechless.  Talk about something to put in the "you've got to be kidding" and the "no way no how are we ever having kids in this crazy day and age" files!  I'm not even sure how to rant about this properly.

I mean, in what world could that dress ever be considered a Halloween costume?  Other than, you know, the current "yellow bikini + orange stilettos = Big Bird costume" world we're apparently living in.  (and the whole deal where the only costumes they sell for women cut and cut and cut out fabric to the point that you seriously can't even tell what they're supposed to be is a whole 'nother rant that I shall not get into this year)

Anyway.  That dress?  Is darling.  Some people might have issues with how much it does or doesn't cover, but I see no problem with letting a little girl wear it any day, or every day if she felt like it.  It's a very cute outfit and if she liked it, more power to her.

That dress?  Is not a Cookie Monster costume.  Except perhaps if you call it a Future-Slut-oween-Training-Costume.

The part that is most unbelievable is that the "boy's" costume is clearly the most unisex piece of clothing on the planet.  Seriously, what part of that ensemble screams "boy" to anyone?  Oh wait, I know - it's the part where you can't see the wearer's legs, shoulders, or stomach.

You know what?  I don't care if anyone my age chooses to wear a "sexy" costume . . . even if it is a sexy unidentified dead body costume. (again, the fact that such a costume adds at least a thousand levels of creepy and wrong to the objectification argument is something I'm not even going to touch)  If you, as an informed and autonomous adult choose to go that route for your costume, go for it.  All power to you.

But if you have a problem with adults choosing the skanky costumes - if you don't like the fact that those are almost the only choices available for girls over about the age of ten - perhaps the place to start is the toddler section.  Stuff that happens at that age sticks with you.  Even if it is something as subtle as boys costumes actually look like what they want to be but girls just wear a scrap of fabric in the right color.  Boys dress up for fun, girls dress up to be looked at.

No.  No, no, NO.

If no one buys them for their four-year-olds, fewer of them will be getting picked by 24-year-olds.  And when fewer 24-year-olds want the pirate bikini over the actual pirate costume . . . then things might start to change.

P. ost  S. cript
There are so many great little moments in the holiday specials it's easy to forget about some of them.  Like this one.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Once Upon a Smoothie

Fun back story for the week:  At my parents' house, the only reason one would ever own a blender is to feed bum lambs.  Seriously. (don't ask)  Bad news when you live there and want a milkshake, good news when you don't live there and they've given up on the bum-lambs-as-money-making-venture.  So we in inherited the clearly never-again-necessary blender a few years ago . . . and it promptly rusted itself beyond usability last summer as I tried to make some frozen hot chocolate.  Heart breaking, let me tell you.  Anyway, the blender has finally been replaced and I'm thoroughly enjoying it with a semi-health kick of tons of smoothies (and a few milkshakes).  So tonight my drink of choice for our little game is a lovely blueberry-banana smoothie courtesy of pinterest.  Yay!

~ Previously: I kind of expected Snow to get her hair back, not gonna lie.

~ Yay, a Grumpy-sode!

~ Why do they need to "prove themselves to the prince"?

~ Well that little mini-seizure can't be good.

~ Why does the town suddenly look like a war zone?

~ PINNOCHIO!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ TEAM EMMOCHIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ Regina you have sooooooooooooo not forgotten where you got that hat.

~ Regina calls him Charming, Snow calls him David.  So interesting . . .

~ So the Whomping Willow apparently has a cousin.

~ It's almost frightening how good she is at playing evil Regina and not-evil-younger Regina.

~ I wonder what happened before if anyone tried to leave.  We never saw anyone actually succeed, you know.

~ He is so not going to have a plan in two hours.

~ Throwing candles in empty fireplaces is a well known way of magically lighting them. :-)

~ I kind of figured Jiminy would try to talk to her.

~ Aawwwwwww, Snow's in her Disney dress!  (sort of)

~ I think I like it better all blue like that.

~ Wait . . . last season Snow as an adult still thought Daniel left Regina . . . PLOT HOLE!

~ or . . . psych.  Blargh.

~ Betcha Rumplilocks gave her the book.  Her last name is Mills, after all.

~ "You need your mommy's help."  Ouch.

~ So FTL DOES still exist!!  I knew it!!

~ Turning green?  Wizard of Oz reference?

~ This Cinderella commercial has me wanting to see what's happening with CinderAshley&Co.  I know hers was a pretty minor storyline last season, but I really liked it.

~ Oh, come on.  Rumplilocks is not a hard name to say.

~ I really like Regina's dress here.  And her hair.

~ Just how much does Rumplilocks know?

~ TOGETHER?!?!?!?!?!  What does that mean?!?!?

~ The prince doesn't know him, but David remembers reading Alice in Wonderland.  That's gotta be trippy.

~ You know, Rumplilocks, a locked door might make that closed sign a little more effective. :-)

~ Charming has such a cute smile . . . *melt*

~ I wonder is Rumplilocks would lose his memory . . .

~ Well that escalated quickly.

~ Regina doesn't want to use magic and end up like her mother.  Now that's irony, right there.

~ Purple eyes . . . I think Regina just turned into an omnivore Twilight vampire . . . lol.

~ "Gramps."  Ha!  Somewhere out there the tv gods heard my pleas.  Too bad Charming didn't hear/react to it.  Now if he'll just call Regina grandma . . .

~ I love Ruby.


~ Charming/Hatter showdown = a lot of hot anger. :-)

~ If he's running away shouldn't he have at least shut his door?  Very odd that Regina didn't even go after him.

~ Ah, so the Whomping Not-Willow made the trip over too.

~ Just call her grandma already Henry.  That'll show her.

~ "I don't want to be you."  Now that's ominous considering the last flashback.

~ That is a sparkly dress, but those hip flouncy thingies are slightly ridiculous.

~ Pushing your mother into a mirror/portal which immediately breaks has got to be worse than seven years of bad luck.

~ I'm a little surprised that everyone wants to leave knowing they'll forget everyone.

~ Great speech, Charming!

~ "As we shall do again."  Shall is such a good word.  It's a shame you don't hear it much outside of fairy tale-ish/Shakespeare-ish stuff.

~ So I didn't mention it earlier, but the shot of the Blue Fairy (who apparently goes by Blue?  weird.) reminded me - Whale's crack about are the nuns still nuns or can they date now?  First, wouldn't everyone remember that the nuns are fairies and understand that they're still off limits? (at least I think they are.)  And could that maybe be a clue about who he is?  Except I can't really think of any playboy-type fairy tale characters.  I would guess the Wolf in a predator/serial dater/womanizer sort of way if Red hadn't already claimed that role.

~ I love Rumplilocks' FTL voice.

~ "Someday you'll do something for me."  I wonder what it is . . . or if she's even done it yet . . .

~ Either this is a trick or she's had quite the little epiphany with that flashback.

~ 98% sure I don't believe the line about wanting to redeem herself.

~ Your mother-in-law asks you to take care of her son, who is also your grandson.  Lulz.  I'm adding any trippy family moments like that to the drinking game.

~ Bra'tac found Pinnochio!!!  Well . . . only sort of it looks like.  But I love them both so, YAY!!!

~ Keeping the book . . . make that 98.78% sure the redeeming myself line was crap.


~ Well that's not good.

~ Is that Snow's castle in the distance?  Looks kind of like it, on the shore and all.

~ Well, hello step-great-great-grandma.  You haven't aged a bit.

~ WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And on that note, I suppose we'll all spend the next week wondering how Cora got from the wherever the mirror portal sent her to this corner of . . . well, whatever realm Mulan and Aurora are in.  And why she's in the dungeon there.

P. ost  S. cript
The awesome side of princess culture.  Love it.