It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Autumn . . .

There's a passage in one of the Anne of Green Gables books - I think it's the fourth one - where Anne is talking about the differences in silences. The sound of the silence of the meadow vs. the seashore vs. in town and such. She says you could take her somewhere blindfolded and she could tell where she was just be the type of silence she heard.

I noticed years ago that sunlight is the same way. The type of sunlight you get coming through your window at 3:00 pm in June is not the same as the sunlight you see at 3:00 pm in November. I like to think I'm the only person who's ever noticed that. :-) And I think if somehow I lost my memory and didn't know what the date was, I could still tell what season it was by looking at the light.

The sunlight has been very fall-ish this past week. It's been easy to notice since I've been doing the same thing I've done all summer in the afternoon - sitting in the living room reading or killing time on facebook. The temperatures haven't cooled down a lot yet, except in the mornings, but out the window the sunlight just looks cooler.

I'm so excited for the temperatures to start dropping . . . this will be my first real fall since 2005!!! Spring is my favorite season, but I love fall too. The leaves crunching . . . the cold-but-not-cold-enough-for-a-jacket-ness . . . knowing all the end of the year holidays are practically here . . . I love it all.

(side note: it's halfway through September already?! What the crap?!?!?!?!?! Where did this year go?!?!?!?!?!?!)

The light changes in Florida too, but it's not the same. It's never chilly in the fall, so everyone is still wearing shorts and flip-flops. The leaves fall, but they don't dry enough to crunch, and even if they did it rains all the time anyway so they wouldn't. The seasons in Florida go something like: 1) spring-ish, 2) unbearably hot and constantly raining, 3) bearably hot and slightly less rainy, 4) icy cold one day and scorching the next. Even the cold isn't real cold - you can tell that it would be chilly but pleasant if the humidity would just drop under 30%. Can you tell I've missed having seasons?

I can't wait to show Luke what a real fall is like. And on that note, where's the best corn maze around here? And by best I mean, of course, the cheapest one in the valley. :-)

P. ost S. cript
You've probably seen this one, it made the rounds a while ago. But it never fails to make me laugh.

A Life-or-Death Rant

Okay, so this one's been building for a while (like, since I got back to Utah) but driving with Ashli finally pushed me over the edge.

What is with Utah drivers?! Seriously . . . why are so many of them so terrible, irresponsible, reckless, and inconsiderate?! The more I think about it, the less sense it makes. Where does this "I pay my tithing, therefore I can run this red light" mentality come from? Is it pent up aggression from not telling people exactly what you think of them in church or what?

The thing I have the biggest problem with is how close people get when they stop behind you. As most of you know, I was in an accident of the rear-ended sort a few years ago. (10:00 pm the night before my 21st birthday by a drunk driver - how's that for a "don't drink, love God" unnecessary sign?) Ever since I've always kind of freaked out a little when the car in my rearview mirror gets too big too fast. I've actually started to stop a looooooong way back from the car in front of me so that when the car behind me get too close I can roll forward a little. Of course, it's not very effective since the idiot behind me almost always goes forward too, and usually ends up even closer to me than they were to begin with. Dude, I swear one of these days I'm going to feel someone bump me from behind because they got too close.

Why do people get so close at stoplights anyway? I mean, it's not like they've got to keep that close to keep someone else from cutting in line . . . and even if they did, how elementary school is that?! Can't they wait five more seconds to get where they're going? I don't get how these people can preach patience at the pulpit every Sunday and then me so incredibly impatient on the road the rest of the week. Utah has got to have the highest concentration of hypocrites in the world. (side note: the only time I really feel safe driving in Utah County is on Sunday.)

Driving with Ashli Friday was just plain terrifying. It was like a window into what it must be like inside the cars of drivers I loathe. She was drifting into the opposite lane, paying more attention to the radio than the road, and tailgating like there was no tomorrow - which is ironic, considering she was in the same accident I was. She tailgated one guy so bad I really thought we were going to hit them when he started tapping his breaks. It only took her almost a mile to get the hint and slow down. Needless to say, I don't plan on getting into a car with her again even if my life depends on it . . . in fact, especially not if my life depends on it.

On the surface it seems so weird that Utah of all places would be the crappy driver capital of the world. But I would rather be back in Orlando driving amid all the stupid lost tourons than in Provo with all the soccer moms and their stupid family window decals taking up the entire back window of their MAVs. Unless the tourons in Orlando have Utah plates. Then you'll see me heading for California.

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I hate twitter, but I can't stand the Jonas Brothers. Therefore, this clip is an epic win for Lacey. :-)

Well, That was Interesting . . . Yeah, I'll Stick with Interesting.

So I spent Labor Day weekend in Washington at my grandparents cabin. Luke couldn't get work off, so he spent it here in Logan. It was a lot lonelier than I thought it would be.

I did some calculating on the drive home. We were away from each other for about 78 hours. Not that much, right? Right . . . until you add the in the fact that that is the longest time we've gone without seeing each other since we met over two years ago. Between working together and always having something going on somewhere in the evenings, I don't think we went more than a day, maybe two without seeing each other the first four months we knew each other. Then we started dating . . . and of course we'd seen each other every single day since. So this weekend was kinda . . . something else. To say the least. I'm really glad to be back!!

It was a fun weekend, sort of. It rained the entire time. Well, Monday dawned bright and sunny. And we (Ashli, Team Jayla, and I) left at about seven. Cruel, cruel irony. On the bright side, I learned how to play pinnochle . . . although that's probably misspelled. And I always love going to Washington, no matter how rainy it is.

Anyway, point being - soooooooooooo not going to be doing the whole "separate vacations" thing that you hear about couples doing. At least not for quite some time. I did take a few pictures, I'll put them up on facebook sometime this week if anyone wants to see them.

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Well, I won't be using this website anytime soon!

I Am . . .

. . . not. I'd just like to take a moment and express my appreciation for the fact that I have not been bombarded by questions. I've had two friends who got married around the same time we did who recently blogged about how sick they are of constantly being asked if they're pregnant. The only person to ask me is my dad. Of course he asks pretty much every time I see him . . . which is weird, because he certainly wasn't the parental unit involved in this recurring scenario:

Happy-ish family wandering the aisles at Walmart. Walking past the baby clothes, Mother stops to look at a fancy baby dress and says, "Oh this would look so cute on one of my grandbabies. But I don't have any grandbabies." Mother pouts and looks pointedly at Lacey. Who is 16. And who is also tempted to reply, "Well, if you want them that badly, I do know how to get them, theoretically. Would you like me to gain some practical knowledge?"

And now I'm married, and Shay's married, and it's like she doesn't care anymore. But Dad, on the other hand . . . wait a minute, what the crap?! Holy invasion of the body switchers, Batman! On the plus side, I happen to know for a fact (because I was on the phone with him at the time) that about an hour ago he was pulling my three(ish)-year-old twin cousins around on a shovel. And judging by their giggles, they were enjoying it. Hopefully Dad gets his fill of rugrats this month and Shayla and I will get off easy for a while. :-) At least I haven't heard anything like this yet.

Anyway, I'm not pregnant. In case you were interested. And that is all. Countdown to bets on how many people will post comments that will make it evident they didn't read after seeing the picture begins . . . now!

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Luke and I are hoping any and all daughters we have are like this cutie.

Picture This, If You Will

K, so you know I've been occupying myself with silly blogs and stuff because I have no life. Good times. Anyway, I found this one a couple of weeks ago, and it's my new current favorite. It's also destroying what little is left of my faith in humanity, but it's making laugh whilst doing it, so it's okay. :-)

Anyway, last week when we went to see Ponyo we decided to really splurge and eat at Pizza Hut on the way home. We didn't eat all the pizza, so we got a to-go box, and on the side it said "Reheat. Re-eat." And then something about the amazingness of having leftover Pizza Hut and make sure you take it out of the box before you light it on fire and such . . . you know the type. Anyway, I'm looking at that, and this awesome conversation starts playing in my head. Well, one sided conversation, because I really couldn't imagine what anyone would come up with the respond. But imagine me making this phone call to Pizza Hut the next day:

Random Minimum Wager: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut, can I help you?

Me: Yeah, I ate there yesterday, and we took our leftover pizza home, and now I'm having some trouble eating it.

RMW: Ummmmm . . . what seems to be the trouble?

Me: Well, I'm confused by the heating instructions on the box you gave us. It says "reheat, re-eat." I don't understand.

RMW: Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm . . . I'm not sure I'm following you, ma'am.

Me: I don't understand why it's telling me to re-eat the pizza. I can't re-eat the leftover pizza - I haven't eaten it yet. So does that mean you want me to regurgitate the pizza I ate last night, heat it up, and eat it again? Because that's really just plain disgusting, and also seems really pointless since there's already uneaten leftover pizza.

And I totally would have done it, if I thought I could have gotten through the entire conversation without cracking up and thus making it evident that the whole thing was a joke. Luke laughed when I told him, but I'm really not sure if he was laughing at the idea or at me for coming up with it. He also called it "an intelligent dumb call" and again . . . compliment, or really weird mockery?

Am I the only person who thinks that call would have been fun/funny? And am I the only one who thinks someone should start a letter-writing campaign or something to Pizza Hut to get them to change their boxes? I'm mean, think of all the dumb people who's confusion we'd be saving!! That makes it a good deed . . . right? :-)

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People like this.

MST

As in, Mormon Standard Time. I'd almost forgotten how it worked in Florida. Which is kind of weird, considering most of the ward was from Utah. But everything always started more or less on time. So there's been a little bit of culture shock for me too in coming back here. Even so, I really hadn't noticed it much, it's been more like "oh yeah, everything starts at least fifteen minutes later than you expect," sort of thing and I just roll with it. But this past Sunday . . . well, let's just say it reminded me of all the things I don't understand about MST. (side note: this one's not really a vent . . . at least I'm not trying to sound like it. More of a puzzled giggle at Utah culture.)

As we (mostly) all know, Sunday was the Oquirrh (did I spell that even close to right?) Mountain Temple dedication, and apparently all of Utah had church replaced with dedication broadcasts. I found that a little odd and confusing, but that's beside the point. I can't speak for any other wards, but in our ward they've been announcing the dedication in both sacrament and Relief Society (and, I would assume, elder's quorum) all summer. Get your ticket, get your handkerchief, and make sure you're there half an hour early because they lock the doors and you won't be able to get in. Standard stuff, right? Should be pretty familiar to anyone who's ever been to a temple dedication before . . . and I'm going to take a shot in the dark and say that would be everyone in our ward except Luke.

So, being the obedient, punctual, and conveniently childless couple that we are, Luke and I show up at 2:15 - not super early so that the images of the temple get monotonous (we saw it three and half times as it was), but not so late that we're running to the doors scrambling to get there right as the swing them shut and we're left out. (I'm imagining some medieval castle doors here. So cool.) We pull into the parking lot, and ours is literally the only car. Weird . . . So Luke does the whole "are you sure we have the time right? Are you sure it's here and not at the stake center?" thing, and I'm like "yeah, this is it," and everything and we walk in and - yay! - there's people there. About five other couples, to be precise, and I'm guessing they all walked since there's tons of apartments all around our building. We're probably in the minority in that we live far enough away that it's possible but not really practical to walk to church. So we sit down, and as I figured, people start trickling in. By 2:30 - the time we were all told to be there because the doors would be locked - the chapel is a little more than half full. But people are still coming in. I keep waiting for the flow to stop, but it only slows down. The last I saw people come in was at - and I know, because I glanced at the clock - 2:58. Ummmm . . . what?

First off, I know they do lock the doors, because I've been to other dedications where I saw them lock the doors half an hour before. So what happened here? What's with the not following through? I mean, I'm totally into the whole "better late than never" thing but 2:58? These people have had all day to get dressed and show up on time and they can't manage it? I would cut some slack if it was the 9:00 dedication, but the 3:00? Lame!

On a slightly similar note, picture this situation: You're at the Pearly Gates (yeah, I know, just go with me. The conventional imagery is easier to work with.) and you've just passed through a few hours ago. Someone comes running up to St. Peter's desk . . . or podium . . . or whatever, and starts saying "I'm here! I'm here!" all out of breath and stuff. St. Peter looks through the book and says something to the effect of "well, everything seems to be in order , except . . . (dramatic pause) . . . you were supposed to be here twenty minutes ago. I'm afraid we can't let you in now." The newly dead person kinda starts to freak out, and then St. Peter starts laughing. "No, man, I'm just messing with you! Come on in - just don't be late for choir practice!"

Am I the only person who would be laughing? Anyway, I guess my point is, why tell people the doors will be locked when they won't?

Nextly - what is it with Mormons being incapable of getting anywhere on time? Okay, I know the first answer is going to be kids. And I get that. And anyone with a child under the age of five gets a pass, and the more kids you have the longer you get the pass. Stuff happens. But it's not just young families. Practically no one in this entire state ever shows up on time. (Case in point: I was ten minutes early for my interview last week. My interviewer wasn't back from lunch, and didn't get back until 3:15 . . . classic MST lateness!) In my parents' ward, half the time it's the oldest ward members walking in during the opening hymn. And of course there were no kids at the dedication on Sunday. Even then, most of these couples don't have kids. What is it that makes everybody late all the time? Something in the water? The air? Some genetic mutation that I've been fortunate enough to avoid since neither of my parents are native Utahns?

Seriously though, can anyone explain the whys of MST? I've always wondered, and Sunday just reminded me of how much I don't get it.

P. ost S. cript
So very wrong. So very awesome. I want one.

Am I Allowed to be Discouraged Yet?

So remember that library job I found on Craig's List? Yeah, scam. Close enough anyway. I sent an email to the address they gave, and I got one of those auto-reply thingies saying click on this link to officially submit an application. So I do. And the next day I get another email saying I'm considered a potential candidate for the job, and to click this link to confirm that I'm actually interested in it and not just some spambot sending out random fake applications and they'll be calling me about an interview. So I do. And that was going on two weeks ago. I'm thinking I'm not going to be getting a call.

I did get a call last Tuesday. I got all excited thinking it was the library people . . . it was Hasting's calling for an interview. Disappointing, mostly because they would pay less, but still. This is my first interview in seven and a half months of job hunting. So I go in Wednesday, and it seems to me like more or less a typical interview . . . not that I've had that many . . . like, maybe three . . . but still. I thought it went pretty well. She tells me that they're doing a few more interviews the rest of this week, and I'll hear from them either way. So I figure I'll get a phone call Monday or Tuesday. I got a rejection letter on Friday. Seriously? What. The. CRAP?!?! You tell me you're not even going to be done interviewing people for the rest of the week, and less then 12 hours later you've put a rejection letter in the mail?!?! Does anyone else see something wrong with this picture?

Okay, I understand (more or less) all the crap about the economy, and there's no jobs and unemployment and blah, blah, blah. Yeah. I know. What I don't understand is why, when I apply at a place which I know is hiring, I don't get called for an interview. And I don't understand why, when I do finally get one, it gets tossed out practically as I walk out the door. And you can say whatever you want about nepotism and I don't know the right people and all that, but Luke's gotten a job at KMart and Convergys, and interviews at both Super 8 and Crystal Inn. So that's obviously not the problem. In the last eight months I've applied at:

Hasting's (twice)
Smith's (both locations)
Macey's
Bath and Body Works
Hallmark
Bed, Bath & Beyond
Kohl's (twice)
Michael's (twice)
Hobby Lobby
Border's (twice)
Albertson's
the library
JC Penny
Dillard's
Convergys
TJ Maxx (twice)
Old Navy (twice)

I know there's more, but I can't remember them now . . . mostly because it was back in February and March, and the applications have expired by now, and I've just plain lost track. And with almost every single one of them, I've known for a fact they were hiring. Either from a sign in the window, or an online posting, or a tip from someone, or something. I don't get it. How is it that out of 40+ applications at places that are definitely hiring, I've only landed one interview? How can there possibly be that many people in Logan looking for a job. This is supposed to be one of the places with the lowest unemployment in the whole freaking country - practically every employment survey we've found says so. Are people screwing with the numbers or what? What is going on here that Luke can be offered four jobs and I can only get one failed interview? I just don't get it.

I held off on applying to be a sub last week because I thought that first the library and then Hasting's was going to come through. Is it too late now? It certainly wouldn't surprise me a bit.

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Allow me to attempt to counteract such a downer post with an epicly hysterical fail. If you don't laugh at this one, there is something wrong with you. :-)