Question

Suppose that one had on one's person evidence of a moment of clumsiness that occurred four months previous to the present time. Considering the significant amount of elapsed time, ought one to assume that said evidence is permanent?

This is, of course, all purely hypothetical. But if the answer is yes, is there anyway to make said evidence look more like a map of the London underground, a la Albus Dumbledore? :-)

P. ost S. cript
Awe. Some. I'm watching it repeatedly and pretending I'm at Star Wars Weekends. :-)

How I'm Spending My Summer Vacation 2.0, OR: A Series of Totally Awesome Ideas by Lacey

Also known as: Probably the Longest Title in the History of Blog Titles Ever. (two subtitles!! Take that . . . ummmmmm . . . subtitle-ers!!!)

Anyway.

So I'm looking forward to (in a literal, not eager sense) at least three months of more or less nothing to do. And I've been anticipating this for a couple of months already and remembering last summer and how bored I got some days and what the crap am I going to do and I really need to find some sort of big project or something to do and preferably one that involves being somewhere with air conditioning in the afternoons as opposed to being outside. And at some point whilst I'm trying to come up with a totally fantabulous project I was killing time clicking around on facebook - because really, does anybody do anything else these days? - and I was looking at someone's pictures (don't remember whose, but they were family) and I saw a picture . . . either of me, or of an event I was at, don't quite remember which . . . and I distinctly remember thinking "What the crap?! I've never seen that picture before!" Or something like that. Anyway, it got me thinking. There are lots of pictures out there. More specifically, there are clearly a lot of family pictures out there. Even more specifically there are a lot of family pictures out there that are not in the possession of the person/family in them. So not everyone gets to see them/know they exist. Now back in the day (i.e., fifteen+ years ago) this made sense because to make tons of copies of a picture would get super expensive. But these days you just scan them into the 'puter and put them online then whoever wants them can print their own copy . . . genius idea #1!

Now, I do not have a lot of pictures anyone other than Luke and I would be interested in. On the other hand, my parents have plenty of pictures I could see the four of us fighting over once they croak. But if their are digital copies, we can each make as many as we want. Score! So I start asking my mother to borrow her huge stack of pictures sitting in this corner of her closet, but every time I bring it up she has some excuse. I'm beginning to think there is some pretty incriminating evidence of . . . something in there, so if anybody has the juicy details fill me in! :-P Anyway, expanding the view back even more I start thinking, hey, I've got two sets of grandparents who have a massive butt-load of pictures and even more people who probably would like copies. And I certainly have more free time and (at least theoretically, although perhaps not in actuality) more techno-savvy, so why don't I do it? Genius idea #2!

So Dad's parents came down in . . . the end of March-ish? . . . for a funeral and bring with them four massive binders of pictures, and I'm thinking I'll just start a flickr account for each side of the family and give everybody the password and then everybody who wants copies or wants to add pictures can. Then I look into actually doing that and it turns out that the free flickr accounts are REALLY limited when it comes to how many pictures you can add - to the point of uber-impracticality for this project. So there goes that idea. Epic fail #1.

But then I find out that facebook has this thing called family groups (tangent: what happened to groups on facebook, anyway? All these stupid "fan" pages that should really be groups . . . LAME!) that's well . . . for families - go figure. It's totally private and stuff, and it seems like the perfect way to share all the pictures because everybody can add any they want. Genius idea #3!

That idea work perfectly for mom's side of the family since my dad is literally the only member over the age of 13 not on facebook. Not so much for dad's side since only the seven older cousins and my grandparents are there . . . still trying to figure out what to do there. But I'll probably be starting the Hulsey group tonight or tomorrow (unless of course I get an overwhelming number of comments opposing that idea . . . then again Grandma thinks it's an awesome idea so maybe I'll just pull her rank on all y'all and do it anyway, lol) so don't be confused when you see the invite. I'm thinking one group for Grandma & Grandpa's family and since I know a lot of Swapp cousins - most of whom I've never met - are on facebook too somebody ought to start a "one generation back" group too. That way it's organized . . . well, kinda like families are anyway. Cool, eh? Genius idea #4! (and whoever wants to start that one, go for it.)

Bad news wrapped in good news: Grandma Hulsey think my scanning the pictures idea is awesome. (both grandmas do, actually) So awesome, in fact, that she and Grandpa have already started scanning theirs in. So there goes that big old pile of pictures I was hoping could occupy me for a summer or two. Semi-epic fail #2.

Soooooooooooooo . . . yeah. I am hereby volunteering to scan any pictures anyone may wish to contribute to the facebook group/Lacey's summer project. And I'm totally looking forward to seeing what pops up once things get going. This is going to be fun! :-)

P ost S. cript
BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now It's Time to Say Goodbye . . .

Yep.



So today was my last day at work. Really bittersweet. On the one hand, I really enjoy the job, and I'm definitely going to miss all the kids. On the other . . . man, they can be little brats sometimes!

That said, I had a really good day. When I got there the class was just coming back from . . . I don't know, wherever they go on Thursdays. So I was immediately mobbed in the hall as they came back and everybody had to tell me all about the card they signed for me and that Ms. Ingram had gotten me a present and they all wanted to know what it was and I got the slight impression that it was supposed to be a surprise but everyone was just too eager to tell me all about it personally. "Mobbed" is definitely the word to use too, as I could hardly walk at a few points during the day for all the hugs. I think I may have gotten ten or more hugs from some of the kids. I feel so special!! I was not expecting to be missed near this much! Awwwwww!!!

So it's business as usual up until recess. Then the kids go outside and I take all the sticker charts and put them on the nine desks of the kids I worked with, and everybody got a little bundle of hershey kisses because I've been giving those out as treats all along for earning stickers. (it's kind of a genius little reward system if I do say so myself!) And then I went outside to play. That was both awesome and depressing. I didn't tell any of the kids I was joining them, so when they saw me the all started yelling and mobbing me again, and again it felt pretty darn good. :-) Then it was all "Miss Lacey do this" and "Miss Lacey watch me do that" and I was getting pulled in at least two directions at once, usually more and I really could have used at least four more pairs of eyes. The whole thing was tons of fun though - although it did make me feel really old. Firstly - I absolutely sucked at trying to do the monkey bars. But in my defense, I wasn't very good at them even when I was their age. (And I especially hated getting the blisters on my palms . . . not fun!!) Secondly - I soooooooooooo cannot fit through those jungle gym tunnels anymore. Sad day!

But recess was great fun. Swings, jump rope, basketball (I even made a basket!!), epic monkey bar fail, and I think the whole class had at least one trick they had to show me. I could totally see myself as an elementary school teacher if it meant this much adoration every day . . . such an ego boost. :-) Anyway, after recess we head back in and everybody's all surprised and excited to see chocolate waiting for them on their desks and I got mobbed again. Woot. And everyone had to gather around to watch me open my card/present - a little jar candle, which I know is a totally generic "girl" present but I adore scented candles and practically always have my candle warmer going, so it's pretty awesome.

And then several of them said I should have a baby so I could come visit them and bring the baby.

Yeah.

If I didn't know better, I'd think my parents had paid them to say that. Granted, it's a natural progression of thought, especially since some of them didn't know I was married until today. But still . . .

More hugs after the bell rang and everyone was leaving. Good thing I like hugs, eh?! :-) It was kind of sad to leave, but here's hoping that one way or another I'll be back next year. I've done what I can, now we'll have to see what happens. Since we won't be paying rent for a few months I'm not looking too hard for something else yet . . . of course, that also means that if I don't get to go back I'll be job hunting slightly frantically come the end of the summer. Good times. Cross your fingers for me!!

P. ost S. cript
So this song was new my sophomore year of high school, and ohmygosh it was just so true and so deep and so sad and whatever. Seriously though, it's a pretty good song. Lots of sentimental value for me - I can't hear it without thinking of high school, especially the end of my sophomore year. Love it, love it, LOVE it . . . even if it is a little cheesy unless you're actually in high school. and can I just say I find it a little disturbing to think that the kindergartners from the year I graduated will be in high school themselves in another year - disturbing. Not right. On sooooo many levels.

Aftermath

So. It's been a week since the most epic birthday ever. How's it been? Kind of awesome, kinda craptastic.

In the pro column:

~ No more noise from the ceiling. That means:
~A) NO wrestling matches
~B) NO American Idol rejects on repeat
~C) NO marathon sessions of Rock Band at midnight
~C1) NO "Hotel California" being replayed 10+ times in a row. Seriously guys, great song and all, but if you haven't mastered it by now . . . you're not gonna . . . .
~D) NO one rummaging through the kitchen that's right above our bedroom slamming drawers and stuff . . . at 1:00 n the morning
(full disclosure - the screeching girl and her squatter boyfriend moved out in December, so we've been enjoying that one for a while now. But I'm still celebrating. Also, everyone in both apartments were completely new neighbors for us, so I really don't know what they would have been like. All I know is that now they can do all this ^ somewhere else. Hooray!)

~ We are not paying rent in June. And probably not July. And likely not August. And possibly not even September . . . although that one's kinda pushing it.

~ Dude, we (well, Luke) were on TV!!! That's always cool. Also - I was the most popular person at church Sunday for, like, five whole minutes. I'll take what I can get, who doesn't love being popular? :-P

~ Really glad that if the whole thing had to happen it happened last week when the weather was clear instead of last night when it was a steady, heavy drizzle or more all night. Even though I could have grabbed a jacket on my way out and would have put my shoes on before going outside instead of after . . . holy even more unpleasant than it was!!

~ All our stuff is fine. Still a little blown away by that. Yay!

~ A week ago I was tolerably certain we had four places close by we could go in an emergency. It's so nice to have assumptions like that validated. :-) (Well, three of them at least. One didn't get verified But Smithfield's the automatic fourth choice anyway just because of distance, and what are the odds we'd have to go that far down the list, lol?)


And in the con column:

~ Holy crap, it's been busy! We already had a big list of things needing done from the damage reports everyone submitted after they moved in last Monday, but it's hardly even been touched because everyone and their dog keeps coming to go through upstairs. There was the insurance guy, and the state something or other inspector, and some guy from Albuquerque who goes all over the country investigating fires, and the contractor who's going to be doing the work when the investigation is done, and the subcontractors he's working with . . . and of course they all need (or just want to here) Luke's story since he's the only witness. So basically he hasn't had more than an hour or two of free time a day all week. Good times. And then there's the morons who used to live up there. Last Sunday night they decided it would be cool or funny or something to hold a party up there and give tours. So it's 10:00 at night and they're slamming doors and stomping around and laughing and girls are squealing, and it goes on for at least half an hour and I'm ignoring it because I'm so used to it . . . then it slowly dawns on me . . . wait a minute . . . no ones supposed to be up there . . . ah crap. So then Luke gets home from work and he reminds them they're only allowed in to get their stuff out, and they're like "oh, we're just giving tours, it's okay, we have a flashlight!" Ummmmmmmm . . . did it not occur to you to at least pretend you were doing the one thing you're allowed to do in there? Clearly you expected to get called out on it as you waited until it was dark to have your fun. Seriously? I'll admit, I did some silly/stupid things in college, but partying in a condemned apartment was not one of them.

~ Because of the massive amounts of work - a lot of it being giving statements to various investigators - Luke's had to call in three days in the past week . . . on top of his days off! So - our camping trip to Yellowstone next month? Canceled, as all his time off is gone. Grrrrr. I guess this just isn't our summer for trips - Yellowstone was actually a replacement for another canceled trip. Okay then, one more boring summer of not leaving Logan, and we'll try again next year.

~ I may have mentioned once or twice that there is a large hole in the rooftop above us. And it's been raining all week. Good times. There's a tarp up there, but I'm totally paranoid that each little drip I hear is the one that's going to bring the completely saturated floor/ceiling above me crashing down. As Ashli has had a ceiling fall on her before, she's totally not allowed in the apartment until the roof is fixed, lol. (BTW, Ashli . . . yeah. You're totally not allowed. In case you're jinxed or something.) I kid, I kid . . . mostly . . .

~ Speaking of paranoia, it's fading more rapidly than I expected, but we've both been a little jittery about both of us being gone at the same time. Because (at least according to Murphy's Law) if we do that, the whole building will explode or something. Last Saturday was really bad because we both wanted to just get out (especially Luke) and we needed to get batteries because when Luke did his check on Tuesday he discovered that some of the smoke detectors didn't have any. Sure, that needed rectified, but it wasn't a big deal . . . until, you know, four days later. So we built up all the guts we could and treated ourselves to Taco Bell and bought some batteries at Walmart and were probably only gone for an hour or so but I for one was totally certain our apartment would not be here when we got back. Good thing our schedules and my total lack of a life means one of us is here all day minus just an hour or two. Another week though, and we'll be fine.

So . . . yeah. Good times have been had by all. And hopefully more relaxing good times are to come.


P. ost S. cript

They just don't make cartoons as totally awesome as they used to. This is a long one, but it's totally worth it to watch to the end. Ahhh, the memories.

Pics

#20. Dude. This used to be my living room.



Holy piles of ash Batman!








Picture massive amounts of smoke billowing profusely out of that hole. That was actually happening about 14 hours ago.



#19, view from the doorway. We didn't dare actually go in.



Check it out! That hole on the far end? That would be the Hole of Profusely Billowing Smoke. Can't even tell, can you?!




Hooray for the fire department!!!!

Most Memorable Birthday EVER

So I posted some sweet little videos yesterday. And I thought I was done. Turns out the day was just getting started.

I go to work figuring it'll be a pretty normal day - after all, only one person in the entire school knows it's my birthday. But then I come back from making copies while the kids are at recess and now they're taking their spelling test. And as I walk across the room everybody starts whispering happy birthday . . . crazy, no? But I laugh and roll with it and tell them thank you and be quiet because they're taking a test . . . yeah, who'd'a thought I'd ever be all grown-up-ish like that? :-) Anyway, I sit down at the back table with my back to the class to do some stapling and suddenly it gets super quiet. Next thing I know they're singing Happy Birthday to me!! Sooooo freaking cute!!!!!!! Seriously, I melted. Then they asked how old I was. I told them to guess, fully aware of what I was getting myself into. I laughed off the triple-digit guess made in silliness. The guesses that began with 3s, 4s, and 5s made me feel a little old . . . but kids that age have pretty much no concept of age beyond, like, ten, right? So not too old. So I finally tell them I'm 26, and the initial response is "WOW! That's so YOUNG!!!" and I'm feeling pretty good. Then the comments of "you're the same age as my mom/dad/aunt/grandma's dog/pet fish/whatever!" started (although in the interest of full disclosure, I did make those last two up). I think those made me feel older than the grossly inaccurate age guesses. All in all though, totally made my day. After they finished the test and were getting ready to go everybody kept to me and happy birthdays and hugs abounded - even from the kids I don't work with! I don't think I've EVER gotten that much attention on my birthday . . . even the one two years ago when I officially got my engagement ring and Luke staged this re-proposing at the site of our first date and it turns out that since we were in front of a restaurant with floor-to-ceiling windows everybody was watching us and then they totally started clapping and a couple of the managers came out to congratulate us and everything. (Didn't get a free meal out of it though, dangit!) Totally awesome. But this totally topped it. I still haven't figured out how Ms. Ingram knew though . . . Aunt Sharon, did you spill the beans? So . . . confused . . .

Anyway, I get off work and I head straight to paradise . . . I mean Coldstone. Because for my birthday I am getting my very first ever ice cream cake!!!! Hooray!!!!! Gotta say, I was seriously tempted to get about five cakes, and pretty much the only thing that stopped me is the fact that we wouldn't have that much room in our freezer even if it was completely empty . . . which it was not. Soooo many yummy choices!!!!!! And did you know that Coldstone now has an oreo filling ice cream? Tastes EXACTLY like the middle of an oreo!!!!!!! SO INCREDIBLY AMAZINGLY DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I seriously considered getting an oreo cake, but in the end I went with Cookie Dough Delirium and I have no regrets. Well . . . I do regret that I couldn't get five, actually.

So Luke comes home from work (with flowers, woot!) and we have manicotti for dinner, and how's this for timing - the DVD we got from Netflix just happens to be Stargate SG1!! Seriously - did not manipulate that!!! We eat. We watch the awesomest show ever. We enjoy it all immensely. Come about 10:00 we are done, and preparing to crash since Luke has to work in the morning. And we faintly hear a smoke detector going off in one of the apartments above us. And it doesn't stop. So Luke goes up to investigate.

And this is where things get . . . good? Crazy? Intense? Hot, for sure. Apartment 19 is empty. Dark. And on fire in the bathroom. And this is how I found out: Luke goes upstairs. Lacey figures he'll be back in five minutes. Ten minutes goes by. Smoke detector still going off. Suddenly Lacey hears about five people pounding on various doors in the complex telling people to get out. Lacey thinks, "oh crap," grabs her phone on the way out of the room, her shoes on the way out the front door, and puts them on when she gets down. Sees Luke for about 2 minutes, first of six fire departments is already here, so she calls the manager while Luke goes off . . . who knows where. He was totally enjoying his in-charge status way too much if you ask me. Like, Percy Weasley levels. Everywhere doing everything. Grrr. I end up babysitting the manager's daughter who is sleeping in her car across the street and all the fire engines totally blocked my view, but I'm told at one point flames were quite visible and put on quite a show. And I heard an odd buzzing sound that I thought must be chainsaws and wouldn't you know it, I was right! They cut holes in the roof over 4 apartments to get to the attic where the fire was.

Round about 11:00 I finishing my minor freak-out about all the important/sentimental stuff we would lose if the fire did make itself all the way down to our apartment. The bits of chatter I can catch from the garbled-y radio of the nearest cop/fire/ambulance/whatever car (and seriously, how do they understand anything on those radios? I've worked with radios before and they were NEVER that static-y!!) says that the fire is completely under control. Yay! Then someone says something offhand about water damage. Oh crap. Anyway, I figure I better start making arrangements on the rapidly-more-likely chance that we won't be sleeping in our apartment tonight. Tremonton? Last resort due to length of drive. Aunt Tawnya? Has admitted to often not having her cell phone on, and that's the only number I have. Aunt Sharon? Probably asleep, and I would hate to wake them up because . . . I know for a fact that Drew is almost certainly awake, and probably still out playing or something. So I text her, and she's all set waiting to hear what happens. It's also around this time that the manager's daughter wakes up, sees me (a stranger), and freaks out. Manager's sister takes her home, and I'm left watching the darkness because I missed all the fun stuff from a spectator sport perspective. Blargh.

Round about midnight some fire dude with a very in charge demeanor gathers everybody who lives here. It was a pretty small group because a lot of people had left town for the weekend (including the ones in the apartment where the fire started . . . good thing we heard it!!!!!) and some had already split figuring they wouldn't be getting back in tonight. Which is what he told us. He took down names and phone numbers and stuff, and made sure we all had somewhere to go for the night. And said that the only reason we couldn't stay was because the power was shut off and they couldn't get it back on until morning. (well, that's probably not the only reason, but it's the only one he gave. Good news: we can go back into our apartments to grab stuff for over night, and we'll be able to get back in in the morning. So Luke and I go up, and I'm totally bracing myself for the horrors and the carnage and the flooding and the smoke and the ruin. We go in. We look around - well, as best we can with just a little flashlight. It smells funny. But only a little. And . . . that's it! No smoke damage, no water damage - again, as far as we can tell with a flashlight. So we grab some stuff and head out to my car with our new best friend (at least for the night, lol) Kristin who had no where to go. And we go to Aunt Loretta's. And we CRASH.

We all slept well, all things considered. And had a thoroughly enjoyable/entertaining morning. And pancakes. With absolutely delicious plum syrup and cherry syrup. Holy to die for!! We're figuring it'll be a somewhat lazy morning and we amble ourselves back over to our place around eleven or so and see if they're letting people back in yet. Then Luke gets a call just before ten from some fire dude or other asking him to come down because he's the on-site in charge man (and loving it) and pretty much the only witness. So we finish eating and dressing and all that fun stuff at record speed and head back. Where we meet the Logan fire marshal, who, in a crazy small-world twist, lives next door to Aunt Loretta . . . or something like that. So we have some fun swapping "crazy Loretta" stories (KIDDING!!!!!) and then Luke gets pulled into a dark corner for some good cop/bad cop style interrogation. KIDDING!!!!!! They just start asking him a few questions, and there were actually a few that he didn't know that I did, so I got to feel all nice and important and special too. Yay. And they've got the whole place roped off, a feat which was made about a hundred times easier by the construction to replace the canal wall, because it meant only running tape across half a parking lot instead of the whole thing. And Luke gets to be all important and duck under the rope with the fire people (Logan fire marshal, state fire marshal, and someone else who is also presumably important but who's fancy-schmancy title I've forgotten) while Kristin and I have to just chillax at the rope. Good news: the power is back on in all but, like, three apartments and they say we'll be going in in probably a couple of hours. Better news: 45 minutes later they take the police tape down and let us in. So Kristin and I go exploring. This time I brace myself for minor carnage. And . . . there's . . . nothing!!! It doesn't even smell!!! (well, it does a tiny bit) So I open up the windows to let the place air out a little.

Okay, backtrack: for the last two weeks I've been kind of kicking myself for not taking pictures of the canal thing everyday. Just for some fun documentation, you know. And of course, while I do wish I had pictures of last night, grabbing my camera . . . kind of not so high on the priority list when you hear people banging on doors and the last time you saw your husband he was going to an apartment where the smoke alarm was going off, you know? So no pictures. Sad day. But then - Kristin grabs her camera and we head upstairs to offer our assistance to the guys in 20, who've been given permission to get their stuff out. And, you know, to check out the place. Kristin took pictures, which I will totally be ripping from her facebook page and posting here in another post later today. I looked around awed that this was the apartment we were living in just over a year ago. The apartment we briefly considered staying in instead of moving downstairs. And now it is covered in ashes and has a really nice skylight. Good times.

And now, here I am. Most. Memorable. Birthday. Ever. And here's the sitch: all I know is what I've overheard the important people saying to each other, so my details may be a touch inaccurate - but: at first word on the street was that 19 & 20 were both a total loss, with 17 & 18 in pretty bad shape too. Turns out 17 & 18 have fancy skylights too, but other than that are in comparatively good shape. 19 (I believe) has been condemned. Right now absolutely nobody goes in or out until the insurance guy comes on Monday. Which kind of sucks for the guys from 19 who were called home from a weekend at Bear Lake with the news that their apartment had burned down. The good news is that while the apartment itself is in, obviously, terrible shape, apparently their stuff is about 97% fine, just covered in ashes. 20 is in bad shape, but not as bad as 19 and as we speak those guys are finishing moving their stuff out. Also: we made the front page of the Herald Journal, as we discovered when we got up this morning. And about 5 minutes ago Kristin called me to tell me that we are currently number 1 on the local section of the front page of yahoo news. We're number 1! We're number 1! Also: in the spirit of making lemonade out of life's lemons and screwdrivers out of life's oranges I am (in case you couldn't already tell) laughing about everything (well, a lot of things) because it's more pleasant (and more healthy!) than crying and really, since nobody was hurt and the damage was pretty minimal all things considered there's a lot to enjoy about this whole situation.

Like the fact that at this rate Luke and I will not be paying rent for months. Seriously. Within a week of us fully taking over on-site maintenance duties the canal wall collapses. 12 days (TWELVE!!!) later there's a fire. I'm thinking it might be us . . . and this whole "be the maintenance people" thing might have been a bad idea. But in the meantime, I am sitting in a camp chair outside our apartment surfing away and soaking up the sun. So what if little bits of ash fall down on me now and then. I just had the best birthday ever. And my awesome ice cream cake didn't melt while the power was off over night! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Addendum: Can't believe I forgot, but Luke totally got interviewed a couple of hours ago. For those of you in Utah, make sure you watch the 6:00 news tonight on ABC (channel 4)!!

P. ost S. cript

This one just seemed appropriate. And hysterical.

Sharing the Awesome

Happy birthday to me! :-)

Yeah, I have nothing really to say today. Just passing along some awesome videos that have been popping up on my facebook wall in the last week or so. (You didn't think I actually found most of the videos I post myself, did you?!)

I think I might have posted this one already . . . but it still rocks.






An epic, EPIC win. I wish I'd had this many legos when I was a kid!!!





A super cute birthday video from my super cute sister-in-law. (there are no words to describe how lucky I got in the in-law department . . . and I'm not just saying that because they read my blog either!!) I'm not really a fan of the "new" princess music Disney is putting out, but this one is sweet.





An awesome flashback. They just don't do stuff like this anymore . . . kids today are so deprived!!





And finally, the piece de resistance - if you don't watch any of the others, watch this one. Seriously. Most hugely epic WIN I have ever seen. So. Cool. So. So. Cool.

In Honor of Mother's Day

A freshly produced Luke-ism for your enjoyment. Last night, after I made some off-hand comment about Mother's Day:

"Oh that's tomorrow, isn't it? I forgot! I'm such a horrible . . . what am I? A son? I'm a son, right?"

Good times.

Also, not that you care . . . or that it matters . . . but today is my one year blogiversary. Hooray for me. *happy dance*

P. ost S. cript
Not that there was much script for this to be post, but anyway . . . yeah. I am proud to say that my mom is more web savvy than this! :-) Not that there's much web-using in this one . . . but it's awesome, and that's the only tie-in I could think of.

File Under: Things I Don't Get

So this post has been writing itself in my head for a couple of months now. And then this morning I inexplicably woke up at 6:00, done sleeping and ready to get up. Weird. That has happened since . . . well, never. And the last time I got up at 6:00 not done sleeping was going on two years ago now. Crazy. Anyway, that means that the things I'm usually doing this time of day are all done, and I just might have time to articulate all the semi-worded thoughts that I've been thinking for . . . well, years, to be perfectly honest. (And believe you me, what is about to take you five or ten minutes to read I'm expecting to take me a couple of hours to write. Even then I'm thinking not everything is going to say exactly what I mean it to say but I'll have given up, said to myself "screw it, let people get mad at me if they want to that badly" and just hit publish. Good times.)

(editing note, so if you’re wondering a little about the time this post popped up . . . yeah . . . stupid internet would crash whilst I was writing it . . grrr. Stupid internet would crash and refuse to uncrash right when I need to get ready for work . . . GRRRRRRR!! Stupid internet!!!!!)

So. Thing Lacey Doesn't Get. Volume One.

Ticks. And for those to whom it isn't immediately obvious, I'm referring to my Grandpa's version. (And if you're ever looking for a silly sense of humor and some good puns . . . there you go. Good times. Laughs a minute. Or at least half the time. Love you Grandpa!)

Anyway . . . I've never really understood politics. Granted, I've only really been paying attention to them for a minutely small number of years. So small, in fact, that I'm not even going give a number because I know at least one person would be horrified and I really don't want to get kicked out of book club. :-P Suffice it to say that it is more than two. On the other hand, I am going to confess to something that is perhaps more shameful and horrifying - I scarcely understand a word. Everything's so jargon-y with their "tariffs this" and "lobbyists that" and then there's Sb 85 and HR 34 and QZ562. And don't get me started on all the legalese everything is written in. I sometimes doubt anybody actually understands what it says. I try to be well informed. I really do. But when I'm watching the news or reading articles online sooner or later my eyes glaze over and I lose track of what they were talking about to begin with. Which is, of course, one of the reasons why I love and adore The Daily Show. Now there are some reporters who know how to put things in layman's terms! Sure, it's a fake news show, but the news itself is real . . . that's close enough . . . right?

Also: I'm not usually an indecisive person, but when it comes to issues I actually do understand, I have a hard time picking a side.

I suppose this problem goes back to elementary school. When I was in third or fourth grade our school introduced "conflict managers" to recess. Basically they picked a dozen or so kids with good reputations, gave them some business-retreat style conflict resolution training (dumbed down a little of course), and sent them out on patrol in pairs. Every couple of weeks or so you would be on duty with a partner during recess, and instead of playing you'd be walking around looking for trouble. Looking back, we had kind of a surprising amount of authority to make decisions other kids were expected to accept. I imagine the theory was we would take care of the little arguments, leaving the teacher free for more pressing matters. You know, fights . . . gushing blood . . . someone slipping on the hill right where the asphalt met the grass and hitting their head on said asphalt. And yes, that last one was me. I went to the nurse's office, had a little headache, got sent home - which really ticked me off because I loved school - and was pretty much fine, except for my mom didn't let me sleep for, like, five days because she was sure I had a massive concussion and was going to die. Of course, I might be remembering that last bit a little inaccurately, but in my defense it's been nearly 20 years (whoa . . . trippy . . . ). :-)

Aaaaaaaaaaanyway. I, naturally, was one of the kids chosen to be on the conflict managers team. I was kind of a golden child at that school. Facts: I was the only kid in the whole school enrolled in the district's gifted and talented program. My grades were consistently in the top five for my entire grade. I won multiple academic competitions, mostly in reading. I imagine this is why I got away with a few things other kids didn't. And when I did do something wrong I often didn't get in as much trouble. (at school, anyway) It also probably explains why I didn't have a lot of friends. Because until about seventh grade, I out-Hermione'd Hermione. By a lot.

Anyway, double digression over - I was taught as a ten(ish)-year-old that when people disagreed you were supposed to listen to both sides of the story and make a decision that would best satisfy both parties. And that's stuck with me ever since. I mean, it's gotta be the right thing to do, you know? How else can you make an informed decision?

And herein lies the problem - to much information. Maybe. I don't know. An uninformed decision seems just plain wrong. A decision with only one half of the information would be misguided. But once you get the details from both (or all) sides, I'm left wondering what the heck is going on.

(At this point I would just like to point out that I am not going to illustrate any of my own opinions or conclusions due to an absolute certainty that I would be the moral of that old fable where the rabbit or turtle or fox or whatever tries to please everybody and ends up with everybody mad at them. Yeah. Sooooo not going there.)

My Shakespearean flaw, I suppose, is my ability to see where both sides are coming from. Now how's that for an awesome answer to that stupid job interview question? :-) I listen to both arguments. I see where Side A is right, and I agree that Side B is wrong. BUT - life is complicated, and these things are multi-faceted. So when it comes to this other facet of issue X I find myself agreeing with Side B that Side A is wrong. Clearly this means that neither of the solutions proposed by either side is likely to work and what's needed is either a composite of the two solutions, or a completely different third option. (I've thought of a few of those myself, and I find them pretty genius. I also expect to be tarred, feathered, and run out of town on a rail if I suggest them to the wrong people. That would not be fun, although I do think it would be kind of cool if I were to be burned in effigy. Guy Fawkes Night = coolest holiday ever. We should totally start celebrating it on this side of the pond. Penny for the old Guy?) Of course, there are often more than two sides and more than two aspects to a debate, which just makes the whole thing even more complicated and my "agreeing with both sides . . . sort of . . . " opinions more complex and indecipherable even to me. Well, no, I know what I think . . . I think.

What I really don't get is the way people on all sides refuse to accept the idea that a compromise might be acceptable, and the venom some of them have for their "enemies." Especially all those political "talking heads," most of whom as I understand it have little to no actual experience in politics and for whom (in a gross generalization) I have very little respect. Where along the way did people forget that their way of doing things is not the only way? That just because something worked for them doesn't mean it is right for everyone? That just because you think or believe one way does not mean that I have to act in accordance with those thoughts or beliefs? And how is someone like me, the "next generation of leaders" or whatever it is you want to call us supposed to pick a side when both sides are right AND both sides are wrong? Can't we all just get along? Live and let live? Am I the only one who's figured this out? And if so, am I a genius for doing so, or an idiot for thinking I might have something here?

Luke and I don't talk about politics much. Not because we disagree, but because we mostly agree actually - it's too complex, too confusing, and there's too much right and wrong on both sides. So there's not much to talk about, you know? "I don't get it." "Yep, me neither."

I also take a sort of quasi-religious view to things too. The world's going to end anyway, you know? Last time I checked there's nothing any of us can do to change that. So I just figure that between now and then God's not up there saying "Oops! Wasn't expecting that to happen . . . better go rewrite that Apocalyptic game plan!" What's supposed to happen will happen. If I can figure out what that is and help it along, great. If I can't, I'll just watch instead of fighting it.

Disclaimer: I've tried to be as neutral as possible, but allow me to here and now accept the fact that I've offended at least five of you. Go ahead, comment, debate, have at it. Here's hoping you have fun. I'll watch, but I'm not touching it with a thirty-nine-and-half-foot pole.

P. ost S. cript

I think I might have posted this one before . . . but it's still awesome. And my first choice video had embeding disabled . . . grrrrr. You should totally check it out though!

Ka-Boom!

Too, too true.



So I may have mentioned (well, actually I haven't . . . and I know I haven't . . . but the phrase sounds good, so I'm gonna use it, dangit!) that our apartment is right next to a canal. The canal, I believe actually. As in, when anyone in Logan talks about "the canal" they might not mean the stretch in front of our apartment, but it's connected to it.

Now, our parking lot is literally right next to said canal. As in, there is a large retaining wall and that is all that marks where the asphalt ends and water begins.

Well . . . there was a retaining wall. (okay, okay, technically there still is. Just roll with me, k?)

So anyway, there's been a section of the wall that's been . . . leaning . . . for a while. They did some patch up working on the parking lot last summer and I imagine that didn't help what was probably a pre-existing condition. (Good thing the wall didn't need insurance, eh?) And then this winter with the snow and the cars and the stupid-people-who-pull-forward-until-their-car-hits-the-wall - well, you know, that all just didn't help. And the wall started leaning rather noticeably. So Luke and I quit parking on that side a couple of months ago. And notes were sent out telling people not to park right up against the wall. And the wall kept leaning. And some of last summer's patch-up job started to sag much, much lower than the rest of the lot. Then, this past Monday when we were meeting with the manager to discuss becoming the new full-time maintenance peeps because the other couple moved, we find out that the problem is being worked on. At least, as much as the whole "getting bids on the work and trying to get the canal company to shut off the water so we can do it now instead of in the fall" thing counts toward working on it. Good times.

So. Yesterday I put out notes saying "hey, we're getting those concrete barrier things they put in parking lots on Tuesday as a temporary fix so don't park on that side Tuesday morning." Seriously. Yesterday. As in, like, thirty hours ago.

So. Today. Luke goes to work at nine this morning. (yeah . . . they changed his schedule again . . . for, like, the tenth time this year . . . grrrrrrr.) He walks to work since it's so close. All was well, apparently. About an hour later I hear this rumble and the place kind of jerks a little. And Lacey thinks "dude, another earthquake?!", considers posting something to that effect on facebook, decides not to, and hops in the shower. Hopping out of the shower, I am shortly thereafter confronted by a knock on the door. And, well, boom went the dynamite. And I missed it!!!! GRRRR!!!!! I call the manager, turns out she's in Provo, she's already called the owners and they're in church. So - quick recap of the "in charge hierarchy" - owners: not available. Manager: not in the freaking county. Old maintenance people: conveniently moved out just two weeks ago. Luke: at work. That leaves: me. Great. So I go out, find out that everybody else decided to investigate, so pretty much everybody who lives here is out there. Which is good, because one car was about to follow the wall into the canal and they couldn't find the owner (of the car, I mean) but somebody had a chain and a truck and they hauled it back. It's still there too, totally blocking half the remaining, in tact parking lot. Obnoxious! There wasn't really much for me to do though. Just grab the construction barrier thingy from the shed, discover that the rope is missing from the shed and wonder how I'm supposed to rope the place off like I've been instructed. However, the police showed up - I'm hoping somebody called them, because if they just randomly decided to check on things that would be a little weird. Especially considering that at one point there were, like, five cop cars out here. I mean, I know this is Logan on a Sunday but come on!! Anyway, they had caution tape, so now we've got that strung across half the parking lot. The place totally looks like a crime scene out of a really low-budget disaster movie (kind of like the ones my mom's been putting on their Netflix instant queue lately - just ask her, she'll admit it!). Good times. Allow me to refer you to the awesome album of pics I just uploaded to facebook. :-) I'm totally behind on the uptake of that whole thing too - as we were all standing around gaping at the whole in the wall (because really, what else was there to do? Pretty much nothing.) a bunch of people were laughing about how they'd already put their pictures up there. Of course, as we all know nothing's official until it's on facebook. So it's official: the wall fell down. And Luke and I are both ticked that we missed it. Seriously, how cool would it have been if it had fallen right as Luke was walking to work? Well, I don't think it would have been that cool, because I still would have missed it. But still . . . you get what I'm sayin', right?

I have no idea who's going to do what. Or when. All I know is, we only have half a parking lot. And that I did not get a picture of the cars on the other side of the canal that got epically splashed and so mud covered you'd think they gone off-roading in Moab or something. Well, except for the dirt not being red. Seriously, epic muddiness. How dare those people drive their cars away before I got a picture!!

So all in all, good times were had by all. Except maybe Luke, since he just got the play-by-play via text until he came home a little bit ago. Here's to more catastrophes (and non-catastrophic events) that keep us busy around here and make our rent cheap as free! :-)

P. ost S. cript

OH-EM-GEE CUTENESS EXPLOSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!