Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Can You Get Any More Cliched?

Okay, I'll admit it. I like "girly" music. Kelly Clarkson? Yep. Carrie Underwood? You betcha! < / Sarah Palin voice > Taylor Swift? I'm a junkie. Wicked? Dude, I was obsessed with Wicked before it was cool . . . at least, before it was cool with all the non-Broadway-junkies. But I am NOTHING compared to the girl who lives above (previously next door to) us and, apparently, has even less of a life than I do.

It started the last week we were upstairs. The semester had just ended, and people were moving out/in for the summer. Woot. So there we are, in our bedroom watching a movie, when we hear music from next door. No big problem, the walls aren't exactly thick, and it's faint, unlike the music the guys on the groundfloor tended to blast from their cars in the parking lot. You know the type - nothing but a beat, and the bass cranked up to higher than the knob even goes. I kid you not, the windows of our THIRD FLOOR apartment rattled from this music three stories below, and on the opposite side of the building. Not cool. But I digress.

So the music we hear from next door is "Defying Gravity" from the aforementioned Wicked. A fellow showtunes fan, sweet! But then . . . she sings along with it. Loud enough that we can hear her singing too. Now, I'll admit, I'm not exactly American Idol material (except maybe for the audition/humiliation episodes, whoch are the only ones I watch), but I can more or less carry a tune, and I know a decent voice when I hear one. And this is not a decent voice. The really annoying thing is, it isn't a bad one either. It's just one of those "always about a quarter step off the note", but at least consistently off instead of "all over the place tone deaf." If she were that bad, I probably would have punctured my ear drums by now. Because she plays her music ALL. THE. TIME. That wouldn't be so bad, heck, even her singing wouldn't be so bad if she had a more expansive playlist. But this is one itunes library in desperate need of some help. Going back to the first night of this minor horror, I'll admit I was a little psyched to get to listen to Wicked, if only as background noise. But . . . no. *sad face* We heard "Defying Gravity" over. And over. And over. And over. And over. I'd guess at least twenty times that night.

Now at the time, I tried to be a little forgiving. I know what it is to be in the mood, so to speak, for a song. Heaven knows I've played more than one song on repeat for an hour or more in my time. But that was two weeks ago, and I haven't heard another song from Wicked yet. Are you freaking kidding me?!?! LAME!!!!! Sure, "Defying Gravity" is a great song . . . but it's a poser song, if you will. It's the one song EVERYBODY knows. It's like those people who see a director's biggest movie and then go around talking like a film snob, "Oh yes, the cinematography in Citizen Kane was just breathtaking." *sip tea with pinking up* "And next week we're going to spend some time at our second home in the Hamptons, aren't we darling?" (on a completely unrelated note, you should hear Luke do a snob-voice. He has it to a "t"!) I'm mean, come on. You want good Wicked music? Try "No One Mourns the Wicked," "Not That Girl," or my personal top three tracks, "As Long As You're Mine," "For Good," and "Dancing Through Life" - now there's a song I can play on repeat all day! You want good Broadway? Why aren't you playing Little Women or Cabaret or Les Mis? Forget the feel-good-girly-power-ballad.

Thankfully, she does have more than one song on her playlist. Sadly, I can name every song I've ever heard coming from upstairs . . . mostly because I've heard them all more times than I care to think about since she's moved in. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present the List of Shame:

Defying Gravity (definitely played the most)
I Told You So
Just a Dream (both by Carrie Underwood)
Since U Been Gone
Because of You
Behind These Hazel Eyes
A Moment Like This (all kelly Clarkson)
Love Story
Our Song
Teardrops on My Guitar
Should've Said No (all Taylor Swift)

There are a couple of others in there, but I can't think of them at the moment. But surely you can see the trend they follow? Seriously. As Luke puts it, could there be any more stereotypical high school/college aged-girl music? I don't think so. Don't get me wrong, I like all of these songs. But where is the variety? She's even missing some of the good songs by these artists, like "Before He Cheats" and "Picture To Burn" . . . what's up with that?! Again - LAME! Not to mention the fact . . . well, I could name tons of artists she's missing. And seeing as our tastes coincide at least a little, I think she'd like them. But . . . no. Just . . . no. not going there. I'm sure these songs were all carefully handpicked because they are completely unobjectionable and church-dance appropriate. "As Long As You're Mine" would probably scandalize the poor thing. But I swear, one of these days, I am going to point my stereo speakers at the ceiling and blast Aerosmith or Bowling for Soup for, like, an hour. After all, college is about expanding your horizons, isn't it? *evil laugh*


  1. May I suggest "Gives You Hell"? I think that would get the point across...

    Sorry. However, I am now VERY grateful I've never read / seen / heard anything Wicked-esque so that song isn't stuck in MY head!

  2. Tawnya- that song, "Gives You Hell" got stuck in my head the other day! And great, now it is there again. Just in time for me to go take a final.

  3. Sandra - that MIGHT be the funniest thing I've ever heard.

  4. Isn't that the one Sammy sings on Rock Band . . . ?? He's getting such a cooler childhood than I did!!!!

  5. Yes, well...(I would make a crack about your mom here, but I'll be nice instead! Wait...does she read this?)

    And, no. He sings it in the car. With me. I should probably change that at some point...

  6. Oh, right. I knew I was close. I highly doubt Mom reads this, especially considering the only place I gave out the address was facebook, and I don't think she's even signed in since the first time. So . . . yeah . . . probably pretty safe to say just about anything. :-)