Is It Temporary Insanity?

What is it with these nut job names people are giving their kids these days? Where did this competition come from - you know, the one to see who can make up a name that sounds the most like it describes some alien species . . . or inanimate object . . . or disease . . .

I can kind of understand where the parents are coming from. I mean, they are (mostly) from my generation (and it feels sooooooooooo wrong to even type that!!), and I remember what it was like in elementary school. There was Sara M. and Sara R. and Sarah K. . . . Ashly G. and Ashley L. and Ashlee J. . . . Scott V. and Scott Q. and Scott Z. . . . or whatever. I always felt bad for those kids, and was glad I had an uncommon - yet heard of! - name. Then we moved to Utah . . . and all of the sudden my graduating class had Lacey B., and Lacy R., and Laci W., and another Lacee W.! When three of us were in the same history class one trimester junior year . . . nightmare!! Thankfully, instead of going the elementary school route, we became Lacey, Lacy Jo (not me . . . I got that nickname my senior year . . . ), and Laci Lynn. And while none of them were in our ward, I was still the third Lacey there. And there was a lot of confusion in sacrament just after the Jenson family moved in. On their second or third Sunday - before a lot of people knew who they were - Lacey Jenson was called to be in YW . . . and our second counselor had to explain that there was a new family in our ward, and that no, we had not just sustained his nine-year-old daughter as the MM advisor! (Although it is interesting to think that people would have done it, apparently . . . ) On the plus side, it's not a common name in Washington . . . or at least it wasn't when I was born . . . so I tell people the town of Lacey, Washington was named after me. :-) It's even more believable when you see how close it is to Puyallup.

So, yeah. I totally know what it's like when EVERYONE has your name. But I'm not sure my fellow Millenials are going about solving the problem the right way. I mean, these names are just so outlandish! Back in March I subbed in nursery one week. There was Hacken (long a), Kaycen, Ava, and Tracken (short a). Dude, looking at those names I wouldn't even dare to guess whether they're boys or girls! Well, except for Ava, but only because that one's getting popular. Ava is totally the new Brittany. Just like Emma is the new Ashley. Whoops! Messed that one up, didn't we guys.

Then there's the poor child Ashli told me about. (side note: Mom really was just as bad as the rest of her generation. We all got really common names, just with unusual spelling. Good thing Khrystyne is Shay's middle name!!!! Imagine having that butchered all your life!!!) Anyway, Ash says she worked with a little girl this past year named L-a. Yep, that's spelled correctly. Elle-hyphen-eh. Wanna guess how you pronounce it? Anybody? Bueller? "Ledasha." Now who on earth is gonna get that one right the first time, unless they've been warned in advance or something? Seriously?! That's just cruel. Here's hoping the kid changes her name the day she turns eighteen.

I really feel for the little girl who started kindergarten the year I was a reading tutor in college. Her name is Princess. Yep. you read that right. Given name, on the birth certificate. Princess. Come on, people!! Yeah, I can totally see not wanting to use Sara, it is pretty common. But seriously, there's a lot of other names out there that mean princess, and some of them are really pretty. It's not like she was born in the '60s or something . . . she was born in 2000! Y2K, internet, anyone? I just did a baby name search that took me, like, ten seconds, and look what I got for substitutes for Sara: Almirah (Arabic), Hara (Hebrew), Sadie, Sari, Sarina, and Suri (Hebrew . . . Henrew has TONS of names for princess!!). I wouldn't recommend Suri to anybody though. Tom Cruise aside, heaven help any girl with that name if her school ever puts on "Oklahoma!"

What about the pretty "old-fashioned" names that nobody uses any more? Like Mary or Esther or Alice or Margaret. One of my visiting teachers has a daughter named Hazel Pearl - how cute a name is that?!?

Granted, using old names has its risks. Right after I became a trainer at Disney there were two new trainees coming in at LMA (Lights, Motors, Action! . . . I really should do the glossary . . . ) by the names of Edith and Fanny. One of our co-ordinators joked that we were probably getting a couple of sweet little old white-haired ladies. Well, she got the sweet part right. The trainees I met the next day were two adorably sweet girls on the International College Program. Edith was from Mexico, and Fanny from France. I still miss them. :-( But seriously, people should be working on making names like that mainstream again instead of making up these stupid fake names!

I already have a handful names I like picked out. They're uncommon, but they are most definitely REAL names. No one can say I don't practice what I preach! :-)

P. ost S. cript
Speaking of unusual names . . . but she gets a pass for names, because it's probably Alaskan, and it's her last name. Last names are generally weird. No pass for stupidity though . . . just amusement at her expense.