Once Upon Some Poisons.

Previously on Once Upon a Predictable . . . we all called it, like, a year ago.


~ Young Snow looks kind of like Fiona in whichever Shrek movie it is when they're dressed all fancy and their arms are, like, sticking out.  You know the one I mean?

~ That said, cute dress.

~ That was some very un-Snow-ular sass right there.

~ Except Snow's dress is very modern, jewel-encrusted prom-ish, but her mother's is all glitter-bombed-Medieval.  What's up with that?

~ So obviously Snow is supposed to be younger than she was in the other young Snow flashbacks, but she's also obviously older.  I wonder how that's going to work as the show goes forward..

~ Okay, how did the tiara get to Storybrooke?

~ Even if Johanna is in Storybrooke, why would she have the tiara?

~ AND WHY ARE WE DISCOVERING ALL THESE NEW PEOPLE IN STROYBROOKE WHEN WE STILL DON'T KNOW WHERE KATHERINE AND ASHLEY ARE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

~ (Random slightly irrelevant thought: why would FTL be on our world's Julian calender, lol?)

~ Hook and Charming . . . oh, the hotness.  Too bad it couldn't be a pleasanter encounter.

~ Okay, how the crap did GOLD get the tiara?

~ Even with both of them in the scene, I'm still not sure that Cora is talking to Regina and not to herself.

~ Regina's been lying . . . shocker, no?

~ I hope those are real kingdoms Neal just mentioned.  Or kingdom.  Was there more than one in there?

~ So now that they're in New York and have found Bae can Rumplilocks take off that scarf without forgetting him?

~ No.  NO.  EMMA DOES NOT WANT ANOTHER CHANCE WITH NEAL BECAUSE SHE'S IN LOVE WITH FREAKING AUGUST-PINNOCHIO WHO IS STILL FREAKING MISSING.

~ Regina does have kind of a point there.  Assuming there was a ghost of a chance that anyone outside the Charming family would ever forgive her, it would be a pretty long time in coming.

~ I sense a Rumplilocks reference in that suggestion of magic.  This, of course, cannot end well.

~ One could also argue both for and against the Blue Fairy's benevolence.

~ YOU CAN'T CALL RUMPLILOCKS GRANDPA UNLESS YOU CALL CHARMING GRANDPA, DANGIT HENRY!!!!!

~ Of course, Rumplilocks is more the appropriate age for the name.

~ I love how Rumplilocks is having the hardest time wrapping his head around the twisted family tree.

~ How did Hook find them that quickly?

~ If Neal is also Peter Pan I'm going on strike.

~ Also, that ship is only the fastest way back if you can find it.

~ The Blue Nun's line totally just made me think of Obi-Wan saying he sensed a great disturbance in the force.

~ That's an interesting loophole.  I was wondering how she was going to get out of curing Queen Snow's Mom.

~ And now we see why the Blue Nun's benevolence is questionable.

~ Rule #3 - DRINK!

~ So the part where Bae went to Neverland first was totally predicatable, but what about the part where the potion or whatever it was he got from the Questionable Blue Nun in the first place was supposed to take them to a land without magic?  Neverland clearly has magic enough to keep people from aging.

~ Why are there nuns in FTL?

~ And what's taking the king so long to show up?  Shouldn't he have been, like, around if Snow's birthday was coming up and there was a ball in her honor and stuff?

~ CORNY DEATH SCENE ALERT.

~ I feel like we should have guessed the clock thing too.

~ Word on the street is someone dies in this episode . . . so it looks like we might have a Rule #4 coming . . .

~ And just how did Cora and Regina(/Cora) know to go to the clock?  Rather convenient if you ask me.

~ That's a better mourning dress than even Scarlett O'Hara wears.

~ But the tiara kinda clashes a little.

~ And again, where the crap is the king?!

~ That skirt might be wider than she is tall . . .

~ And shouldn't there be, like, advisors and stuff to do all this so the pre-teen princess doesn't have to be in charge?

~ Ummmmmmmmmmmmm . . . did not see that one coming.  Probably should have, everybody was figuring Cora was scheming all along to get Regina married to the king.

~ Of course, this begs the question - what does Cora have against Queen Snow's Mom?

~ Did you see that look?  The one from Regina?  I'm guessing that line is the start of Regina switching teams again.

~ Well . . . called the person who died right . . . just not how . . .

~ You know, I'm as big a bookworm as they come, but this kindle commercial is just dumb.  If I was at the beach I would not spend the entire trip reading, just the part where I was in the hotel room.  Also, I imagine those things aren't exactly waterproof.  Not that regular books are, but still.

~ See, called it!  Regina is totally not cool with Cora's manipulating things to get her married to the king.

~ She's wavering . . .

~ Yeah that reference to people being a MEMORY wasn't ominous in this show where people can't leave town without losing their memories.

~ If that's Wendy I might be okay with Neal being Peter Pan.

~ YAY, NEAL HAS A FIANCEE!!!!!  THAT MEANS EMMA AND AUGUST CAN STILL BE A THING!!!!!!  GO TEAM EMMOCHIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ Well this is an interesting Snow character development.

~ One could argue that killing Cora is not an evil thing to do.

~ Is it next Sunday yet?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Although I must say, that was a rather un-gasp-inducing episode.


P. ost  S. cript
Any excuse to celebrate GREEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  There are no words for how glad I am that it's finally March.  I could just about cry too. (side note: have you ever noticed how October, November, and December fly by but January, February and March take FOREVER?)