Sunday, March 17, 2013

Once Upon an Origin

Previously: Cora died, Rumplilocks lived, Henry's family tree is starting to look like that of a Spanish Hapsburg, and it's really nice to be watching this show before needing to turn the lights on.

~ Star Wars shout out to start us up?  I'm in!

~ Wait . . . Star Wars shout out . . . is that kid Car Accident Guy?  This is clearly not the present . . .

~ Yeah, let's go with electrical storm.

~ Hello, Smoke Monster.

~ Dude, is Storybrooke going to land on top of them?  Because that would suck.

~ Maine has boonies?

~ But if they're not FTL people how were they able to walk into town?

~ Hello Sheriff HOT.  Missed you muchly.

~ Nice opening credit thingy.

~ If I were Regina and had had her FTL wardrobe, I would have provided myself better clothes in Storybrooke.

~ BRA'TAC!!!  YAY!!!!!!


~ So Snow's class made birdcages every single day?  I'll bet that was really rough on Henry when he hit fifth grade.  No wonder he was in therapy for being "crazy."

~ Rule #1 drink!  I think this shall be quite the . . . er . . . not dry episode.

~ Oh, now that's just cruel.  Which I suppose is her point.

~ Yes it does Regina.  That uniform looks fabulous on that sheriff.  But your and Graham's relationship is still utterly creepy and fifty shades of wrong.

~ Awww, sad moment for Bra'tac.

~ On that note:

~ Oh, I think we all know what happens when Regina feels threatened.

~ Still don't get why Cora wasn't a queen, btw.

~ Awww, Rumplilocks roses for Cora.  That guy just can't win.

~ Because one moment of anger is totally worse than going after a person for, like, fifty years, REGINA!

~ Should that count as a rule #2?

~ So basically Regina just wants to be the modern SuperMom?

~ Did they really expect him not to see through that?

~ Good reasons, Rumplilocks.  Both.

~ I get the feeling that kid is not going to survive this episode.  Unless he is Car Accident Guy.

~ How is the mechanic going to get parts for their car?  From, like, not Storybrooke?

~ Okay, now that reeks of Chekov's Gun.  What do you want to bet Regina still has that thing?

~ Aww, Snow's been visiting since Day 2!

~ If I were Regina I'd be kind of freaked out by that fact.  I mean, she was surprised that she successfully cast the curse, why isn't she worried that there might be a hole in it or something and if Snow shows up enough she'll figure out just who Mr. John Doe is and break the whole thing?  I mean, Regina doesn't know what Rumplilocks said about Emma being the savior way back before she cast it.

~ I never pictured the town quite so Groundhog Day-ish.  I mean, sure, time doesn't pass but they don't have to do the exact same thing every time.

~ Now this shall be interesting.  We finally get to see just how much Gold remembered of Rumplilocks.

~ And it appears not much.

~ And now we see why she got Henry in the first place . . .

~ I totally would have started wearing the FTL clothes once the curse was broken, for the record.  If I were Regina.

~ Clearly Emma has either read Harry Potter or watched Aladdin.  Guessing the latter, considering the show, lol.

~ Always with the needing the heart thing.

~ What happened to them Henry?  This is the second act of Into the Woods, kid.  Things aren't pretty after happily ever after.

~ I'm going to be singing those songs the rest of the night now.

~ So is lasagna the only thing Regina knows how to make?  Or learned how to make in 28 years . . . as the case may be?

~ Wait, what?  Wouldn't they notice pretty quickly that everyone else is a robot?

~ Bet we just saw why Car Accident Guy came back.

~ Not a bad idea, Henry.  But can it be done?

~ Dude, he's in the bathroom making a break for it.


~ Good point, Emma.  How did Neal fall for that?

~ Can't take a heart with gloves on?

~ That snort totally meant "you want to make a bet?"

~ Now that's the evil queen we're used to seeing.

~ Wait, how did he know to come to her office?  That heart control thing is more effecive than I thought.

~ All he has to do is knock the box over to turn Graham off?  Weird.

~ Dude, he's so trying to find his old campsite.

~ Would dynamite get rid of magic?

~ I guess if you blew up the well it might . . .

~ Wait, Car Accident Guy has a different name than Campsite Kid.  Not that that necessarily means anything on this show . . .

~ One does not watch this show expecting high speed car chases.

~ Yeah, this is the demented witch side of the evil queen we're getting this week.  It's kind of awesome.  The casting on this show is seriously brilliant.

~ Deja vu much?

~ Yeah, that's going to help your cause Regina.

~ Pay for what?  For 2 seconds of getting mad at you for trying to kill her since she was ten?

~ Henry is totally the friar from Romeo and Juliet right here.

~ What do you want to bet she didn't actually destroy that spell?  She proably just made it stronger.

~ I wish Regina would stop expecting one nice thing to make up for all the evil things.  Seriously, why is she surprised when they still don't trust her after all she does is show up with a lasagna.  Show up five or six times, and then they'll talk, dearie.

~ That low calorie Sprite or whatever commercial is seriously one of the weirdest ones I've ever seen.  And let's be honest, we've all seen some pretty weird commercials.

~ Does it count as a rule #1 drink if a Charming doesn't say it?

~ Oh, who are we kidding, he's probably going to turn out to be related.

~ Famous last words, Rumplilocks.  She'll be back.

~ The saddest part is you can tell Rumplilocks doesn't believe it.

~ I'm with Regina.  What?

~ It hasn't cost Regina a thing, Snow.  At least not anything that wasn't her fault.

~ See?

~ Wow, that's twisted.

~ I KNEW CAMPSITE KID WAS CAR ACCIDENT GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ CALLED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ Place your bets now, is Tamara a FTL person or no? (the main theories are Tink or Wendy)

~ IS THAT AN AUGUST I SEE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

~ IS PINNOCHIO REALLY BACK?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

~ IS IT NEXT WEEK YET?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!

~ Well . . . that sounded rather like I was teasing the next episode of a really trashy soap opera.  Tune in next week for the wedding of Luke and Laura!

P. ost  S. cript
In other news, this movie looks terribly bad enough to be Troll 2 good.  (and take note of the part where it was made THIS YEAR.  Oy.)

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