Collaborate and Listen

So I know that talking about a !@%^&%$#@!#$%^&*&^%$#$% ing cold it is has become the cliche to end all cliches this month . . . but dude.  It's cold.  In fact, I don't remember a winter this cold since I was in elementary school.  At which point in time I was still being sent out into the elements looking like a cross between the stay-puff marshmallow ghostbuster man and that kid from A Christmas Story.  And at the moment I'm kind of wishing it would still be considered socially acceptable to go out in an ensemble that requires an hour or more to be able to actually do anything once you get where you're going. (heck, maybe it is, I'm not exactly the most precise judge at these things . . . maybe I'll try it tomorrow)

On that note, a couple of frozen thoughts:

~ Currently I am married more to a Luke-sicle than a Luke.  File under: coldest winter ever experienced in his lifetime.  We're both waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more done with January than we usually are . . . and neither of us particularly care for January to begin with.

~ I get one cold a winter and then I'm good to go.  I got my cold for this time around back in November.  So the one I have now?  So not okay.  On the one hand, yeah, it's not the flu.  On the other - it's amazing how the ability to breathe through one's nose is so under-appreciated.  As I haven't done so since Monday, I'm really appreciating it right now.  Claritin used to do wonders for clearing up the congestion but it hasn't done jack for the last three colds now.  Any suggestions?

~ The part where my car was covered with some sort of gelatinous goo last night and then frozen?  Also not okay.  Apparently there have only been, like, nine freezing rain storms around in the last forty something years.  So why couldn't these particular ice pellets have waited until we lived in Tahiti to show up?  Or at least somewhere with a garage.

~ I know that people generally ache when they're sick, but is it normal for one's gums to hurt?

~ Why doesn't my computer recognize the word gums?

~ Random question: so way back in the day TVs had to, like, warm up or whatever after you turned them on before you could see anything, right?  So was it possible that it could be so cold that the cathode ray (that was the part that warmed up, right?) just wouldn't/couldn't warm up and the TV wouldn't turn on?

~ It's too bad it's not December because right now I kind of look like this.

~ Food thaws faster in the fridge than on the counter these days.  Another thing that's not okay.

~ I'm cold.


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Just seemed to fit.

Once Upon - oh, Mrs. Potts is NOT Going to Like This

Previously, as far as Belle knows, nothing happened.  So let's just get on with it.


~ These previouslys are really making me hope we see Ashley soon. 

~ How did Team Charming get there so fast?

~ David looks hot, as always.

~ Nice intro/credit/whatever screen!

~ I should resent that cross pun for its obviousness, but I rather liked it.

~ Seriously, what world exactly is Frankenstein inhabiting?

~ Other than a rainy, black and white, Victorian, steampunkish one?

~ I thought Rumplilocks healed Belle's gunshot wound.  Why is she in the hospital?

~ This is way too many questions for five miniutes into the episode.  Even for this show.

~ Looks like we've finally found one thing true love's kiss can't cure.  Sucks for you, Rumplilocks.

~ Oh, Hook.  You're always cocky . . . in every possible sense of the word.

~ Computer hacking and pick-axe hacking are different.  Duly noted.  Thanks Grumpy, never would have guessed! :-)

~ Random driver saw Rumplilocks throwing magic around?  Missed that somehow.

~ Ummmm . . . where are these orders coming from Charming?  I didn't hear a consensus in that conversation.

~ Star Wars ringtone?!  I love this unidentified dying guy!  (But if it turns out he's actually Luke Skywalker I am soooooooooooooo out.  Just sayin'.)

~ Rumple von Stiltskin.  I love it.

~ I also rather love his FTL voice.

~ Holy Mary Poppins bag of gold, Rumplilocks!  I want!!

~ Just how is Rumplilocks traveling between worlds?

~ Nice dress, Cora.

~ No, Cora, I don't know what that is.  Of course.

~ Man, she's good.

~ Soooooooooooooooo apparently they used to have a rather different relationship.  I'm intrigued.

~ Okay, why exactly did Franken-whatthecrap go on the lam?

~ I love when they remember Ruby has dog powers.

~ I guess they haven't really had time to catch Emma and Snow up on what they missed, have they?

~ So the monster is his own brother?  Interesting twist . . .

~ Dude, are there any characters without parent issues on this show?

~ Holy crap, if Cora does something to Henry, I SWEAR . . .

~ How does one get a sweet hidden lair like that one Regina's got?  It's kind of friggin awesome.

~ I should've seen that one coming, shouldn't I have?  I mean, how many times has Cora pulled that trick now?

~ I may have to watch this Zero Hour show.  If only to put off getting sucked into Dr. Who.

~ Why is Franken-nutso surprised that the people where Rumplilocks is from have hearts?

~ See, even here Cora reeks of lying through her teeth.  When Regina says the same sort of things she sounds sincere.

~ Emma and Henry and the two idiots.  I should resent that on Team Charming's behalf, but I kind of love it.

~ I also love how hard Regina's still trying.  She's really not bad, she's just been tortured all her life, essentially.  (because, dude.  a mother like that? is torture.)

~ Time travel?  We're bringing in time travel now?  Not sure I'm okay with that.

~ I have to wonder if Frankencrazy knew his zombie brother would do that when he brought the guy to their father.

~ Rule #3 - DRINK!

~ Ruby's "I ate my boyfriend" line totally sounded like she was introducing herself at Werewolves Anonymous.

~ Soooooooo . . . are we seeing the potential beginning of a Ruby/Whale pairing here?  I might be okay with that one.

~ Holy crap, Cora is good.  Doesn't mean a word she's saying, no matter how much she says she means it.  But she sure knows what to say and how to say it.

~ Am I remembering wrong, or was Daniel a lot more coherent when he got brought back?

~ Or maybe it just takes time?  And we really only saw Daniel after enough time had passed?

~ So his brother got shot in the stomach, and that necessitated stitching him pretty much all over his body?  Head, hands, everything?  I know they've got a look they're going for, but can't they at least explain where it came from?

~ Sheriff not bringing her parents with her to talk to the non-dying guy . . . counts as a rule #2 since we haven't had much to go on this week.

~ Awwww, poor Chip!  Guess that's one character they won't be adding.

~ And I have officially never felt sorrier for Rumplilocks.

~ And here's hoping that they can just explain things to Belle slowly and reintroduce her to the concept of FTL and either she won't need to get her memories back or they'll come back in a more "natural magic" way.  Because you know they're coming back eventually.  It might be a season or two, but I'm pretty sure there would be rioting in the streets if they didn't.  Or at least on twitter.

~ Maybe crossing the town line coming in messes with outsider's memories?

~ Texting?  Really?  That's kind of a lame way out.

~ Wait, isn't she going to ask him anything else?  Like why he was coming into to town or something?  Nothing at all.  Emma, you suck as a sheriff.

~ Okay, so that thing is a crystal ball/globe?  And Bae is on the eastern seaboard?  Okay.

~ THAT'S WHAT HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME THIS WHOLE TIME, HENRY!!!!!!  THANK YOU FOR FINALLY POINTING IT OUT TO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ Well, that was to the point Rumplilocks!

~ And that's why you should've asked more questions, EMMA!

~ THREE WEEKS FROM TONIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  THIS IS NOT OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On the plus side . . . everybody loves Hurley.  I guess we'll meet back here in three weeks.

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So I heard this piece on the radio a little while ago, and of course I immediately thought of Fantasia and it made my day in way that it hasn't been made in a while.  We really need to get this movie.  Mostly for this segment . . . although I love the rest of them too.

Once Upon Girl Power!

Previously: We all discovered that we've been leaving an essential ingredient out of our lasagnas.  And if the one I made today hadn't been a chicken alfredo lasagna I totally would have put in some red pepper flakes.  Not sure that would have worked though, so . . . next time.

Anyway.  Here's hoping for a few more fifty shades of Rule #2's.

~ And that sign cut off in just the right way for me not to be able to tell if there was an E at the end.  Cruel cinematography, or an old, small tv?

~ Ummmmmmm . . . bye Smee.  We hardly knew ye.

~ Yay, it worked.  So . . . what just worked?

~ I still think Rumplilocks should have been able to cross the line no problem.  I mean, he created the curse and all.  Wouldn't that just make sense?

~ So the cricket gets a funeral but Hot Graham doesn't?  LAME!

~ IT'S BRA'TAC!!!  YAY!!!

~ Now give me some Pinocchio, dangit!

~ That's not very much potion . . .

~ Seriously thought he might pull out the dagger there for a minute.

~ Seriously, why did he only make enough potion for one test and one real thing? 

~ Dude, chug it Belle!

~ Interesting . . . Grumpy's still Dreamy.  I like.  Hope we get to see more in-between0ish flashbacks like this.

~ Oh look, an E at the end.  Note to self.

~ I'll probably have forgotten by next week.

~ Shouldn't she remember who Hook is?

~ Oh, okay, she does.  Good.

~ Yay Belle!  You go girl!

~ Is that a panic room or an elevator?  Either way, why is it so steampunk?

~ Does it occur to anyone else that calling the person the nutjob attacking you is actually after may not be the best move?  Just me?  Okay.

~ Commercial: hello Julia Stiles.  Where have you been since Mona Lisa Smile? (love that movie!)

~ Is that Gaston giving her crap about the book?  I don't remember what he looks like, but it seems so fitting.  It better be.

~ Yeah, pretty sure that's him.

~ I love your spunk Belle, but that was a bad idea on about a gazillion levels.

~ That's quite the cleavage baring outfit they've got her in.  Granted, she looks good, but is that really necessary?  Regina's outfits make sense, this is just gratuitous and out of character.  Lame.

~ Hello background Bra'tac.

~ Charming was oddly silent in that scene.  And sadly shirted.

~ Sometime around the end of this show Rumplilocks is going t learn to just shut up and let Belle come along.

~ You know, she's spending a lot of time with Rumplilocks rather shortly after saying she didn't want anything to do with him.

~ Sometimes Rumplilocks' accent makes him sound like Uncle Scrooge McDuck.  It's kind of awesome.

~ You see, this is why girls gotta stick together.  Go Team Princesses!

~ If they had done the "you're a girl" "WOMAN" line for a third time I think I would have had to make it another rule.  I like the way the did it this time.

~ Is it just me, or does Mulan look a LOT younger in these scenes?  Like, a ton younger.  Like, a decade or something.

~ Again, bye Smee.  We still hardly knew ye.

~ So the seagulls can see the ship?  How does that work?

~ I love that Belle just pulled a trick out of Indiana Jones' book.

~ Random thought while it's a commercial: I want to see a storyline where all the female characters have to team up to get something done.  Granny, Ruby, Mulan, Aurora, Snow, Emma, Belle . . . am I missing any? (oh yeah, ASHLEY AND KATHERINE WHO SERIOUSLY NEED TO COME BACK ALREADY)  How awesome would that be?  Seriously, Team Princesses ftw because half the time the guys suck.  Or are dead.  Except for Charming.

~ That was way too easy.

~ Awwww, Domestic Moments with the Charmings.  I'd watch the heck out of that show.

~ Things will get better if you take your shirt off Charming.  Your grandson might not appreciate it but Snow and I would.

~ Or you could go back to the house David and Katherine were living in.  AND EXPLAIN WHERE KATHERINE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ Yeah, saw that coming.  Told you Jiminy got away to easy.

~ Mulan's hair is giving off some serious Pocahontas vibes with it down like this.

~ What's a Chinese village doing in a European(ish) Enchanted Forest?

~ Description of how Milha died counts as a Rule #4?  Your call.  It's been a rather dry night this week.

~ Dude, Belle freaking rocks.  Seriously, how awesome would it be to get all of these strong, smart innovative, princessy characters ALL actively working together at the same time?  Oh, how I want it.

~ Clever.  Go for the obvious hand pun and give it a twist.  Woot.

~ Okay, Belle's boobs outfit has gone from merely gratuitous to obnoxiously distracting.  It's just so out of character for her.

~ Didn't see that coming.  Hello . . . Prince?

~ Ummmmmmmmmm . . . PRINCE PHILIP?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

~ GREAT MERCIFUL CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ I love the sunburst on his coat of armor.  That's quite the cute little shout-out to Aurora.

~ commercial: So I'm kinda intrigued by this Beautiful Creatures movie.  I might have to see it just for the part where Emma Thompson has a southern accent.  Say it with me kids: trippy!

~ Fun fact: Emma Thompson has been my hero since I saw her in Much Ado About Nothing when I was in seventh grade. (twenty points if you caught the pun!)  I've also been in love with Kenneth Branagh since then too.

~ Snow just called him David.  Interesting.  I think that really is his real/original name.  Which says a lot about Regina.  A lot of good things.

~ Yay, reunions!  Too bad it wasn't August.  Or Katherine. Or Cinderella.

~ That was a very short lived "everyone thinks Regina is still evil" storyline.

~ And now we know how Philip and Mulan hooked up.  Of course, it remains to be seen if the theories that they also Hooked Up are true too . . .

~ Nice hat, Regina.

~ I'm thinking "I'll fight for him" might be RumpBelle's version of "I will always find you."  Stay tuned for Rule 1A.

~ How interesting would it have been if the potion hadn't worked the second time?

~ Okay, that was close enough.  Rule #1.  DRINK!

~ Oh . . . that wasn't good.

~ Dude, who the crap is that?

~ Pennsylvania plates . . . where could he be from?

~ YOU CAN'T JUST END IT THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ Okay, countdown to next week starts . . . well, last week.  Let's be honest here.


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Yeah, I've posted this one, like, a million times already.  Or maybe just twice.  But it fits, and it's funny.  Here you go again.

Once Upon Haituses (Hiati?) Suck (Or: Her Mother's Chin and Her Father's Tact)

Anyone still out there?  It was a long, less than Charming break.  But now the Charmings are back, and here's hoping for some awesome Charming reactions and Henry finally calling his elders what a kid his age should.  :-)

Everybody remember the rules?  Then grab your drink (I'm thinking we're going to need strong ones) and let's go back to Storybrooke!  (Is it spelled with an E at the end?  I can never remember, and we don't see it written down quite enough for it to stick with me.)


~ They are really going for the Hook-Jack Sparrow parallels, aren't they?

~ Is that the dwarf that tried leaving town?  I'm thinking yes.

~ Well so much for "Snow White and the SEVEN Dwarfs" . . .

~ The opening credits thing is Pongo?  Calling it - Jiminy's going to play a big part this week.

~ Ummmm . . . hello steamy scene.  These are soooooooooooo not Uncle Walt's fairy tales.

~ Well this scene has become fifty shades of awkward.  I'm calling it a rule #2!  As soon as I can drink without choking on laughter anyway.

~ FTL Regina has the best outfits.  Loving her version of armor!

~ Although Charming is giving her a run for her money with that sweet cloak . . .

~ I love Granny.

~ In fact, new rule.  When Granny is awesome, we toast!  (I wonder how many rules we'll have by the time this show ends . . . )

~ Rule #1!  Drink!

~ Famous last words, Charming.  Famous.  Last.  Words.

~ Fun fact: Grumpy is played by the guy who plays Pintel in Pirates. (the bald pirate who hangs with the one with the wooden eye)  How awesome is that?  And how did I miss it for a season and a half?  It's so obvious now that I know!

~ Nice comeback with the red pepper flakes crack, Regina.  I love that Emma is trying to include her.  I really think Cora's going to end up being the arch-villain here and a big chunk of the story is going to be Regina's redemption.  And I like that.

~ See?  See?  With the getting mad thing and then immediately regretting it thing and the apologizing thing?  Regina's not evil, she's just a little twisted.  Cora though . . . she is all sorts of messed-up-crazy-evil.

~ As evidenced by that line right there.

~ For the record, Regina is totally justified in being mad at Cricket Man.

~ PhD awarded by a curse . . . that's kind of a brilliant line, not gonna lie.

~ Dude, Charming's FTL outfit this episode just reeks of fairy tale manliness.  :-)

~ Where is this in the timeline exactly?  Post-wedding, pre-pregnant with Emma?  Or pre-wedding?  I wish they were clearer about things like that.

~ Calling it.  That's Cora, not Regina.

~ What did I tell you?  I love it when I'm right, lol.

~ If Jiminy is dead, it will completely ruin the Pinocchio family reunion that has to be coming because I said so.  The one that has to happen EVEN THOUGH WE STILL HAVEN'T SEEN AUGUST YET AND HAVE NO IDEA WHERE HE IS!!! GAH!!!!!!

~ CALL HIM GRANDPA, HENRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ No, No, NO!  I refuse to believe in the death of the Cricket!!!!  TEAM ARCHIE LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ Ooooh, some father/daughter good cop/bad cop.  Nice!

~ FTL Regina looks so young without her hair all fancified.  You know, in the original (the super old one) the stepmother isn't that much older than Snow White.  It's logical to think that it's the same case here.

~ So is Rumplilocks going to save Regina or is she going to disapperate herself?

~ Didn't see that coming . . . interesting call, Snow.

~ I'm intrigued.  Snow saved Regina because she remembered her being good . . . but Mary Margaret condemns her because she remembers her being evil.  Fascinating.  I love this show!

~ Yay, we get some Belle!!

~ And some Rumplilocks wit.  This episode is officially as awesome as usual.

~ Or they could, you know, have Ruby talk to Pongo.  Then they wouldn't have to use magic.  Why are they overlooking the obvious?

~ The dream catcher effect is nice though.

~ I suppose it would have been a little too convenient if Pongo could see through dark magic disguises, wouldn't it?

~ Wait, where did they find more fairy dust?

~ Wait, if the king is dead and Regina has been more or less deposed, shouldn't Snow and Charming be King and Queen, not Prince and Princess?

~ Okay, so we're still pre-wedding.  But the question stands as far as Snow's concerned.

~ Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad idea, Snow!

~ Told ya so.

~ That was interesting.

~ Wait, if they've got the protection spell against Regina, shouldn't that have blocked the curse from even happening?

~ See, see?  She called it her kingdom?  Why isn't she Queen?

~ Other than, you know, the whole cultural connotation of Princess = good, Queen = bad and the whole stupid Madonna/Whore dichotomy . . . but that's a rant we shan't be getting into today.

~ Ummmmm . . . at least they tried?

~ So . . . I'm guessing that now's just about the right time for Cora to make her appearance.  Right after the commercial, I mean.

~ Awwwwww, Charming is so sweet!!  (and hot, but I suppose that's unrelated at the moment)

~ Okay, now is the perfect moment for Cora to show up.

~ I want Regina's FTL wardrobe.  That is all.

~ Rumplilocks, I see your loophole, but isn't the curse technically harming Snow and Charming?

~ I don't get your umbrella, Cora, but I like it.

~ Is Milha on the ship?  Or Bae?

~ OR AUGUST?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

~ Okay, clearly I never would have guessed it was Jiminy.  But I told you he wasn't dead, didn't I?

~ So . . . good question, Hook.  Who is dead?

~ ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

These people really know where to end an episode, don't they?  Gah!  Counting down the minutes until next week . . .


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Can we just take a moment to remember how awesome this movie is?  Because seriously, it's pretty fun.  It's tragic, really, the way you don't see much of it anymore.  (anyone who mentions the live action crap will face a fate the likes of which Cora would come up with, lol.)

And It Must Follow

Two years into my biggest attempt at a resolution I'm feeling like the world's biggest failure.  And frankly, writing this isn't helping.  Perhaps I'm too much of a stats junkie, but it's just depressing to watch the number of views and comments your blog gets slowly plummet, and to have the numbers right before you to verify it's not just in your head.  And considering the fact that my blog has been more popular in Russia and Sweden than in the US lately, I can only assume that very few people I actually know will ever read this . . . but perhaps strangers can offer me better advice.  Because heaven knows, when it appears that even one's grandparents have stopped reading one's blog, one must be doing something horribly wrong.

And I can only assume that the whole "be myself" thing was horribly wrong in my case.  Apparently when I do that what people see is not actually me (at least, what I would recognize as me) but an emo teenager.  Which doesn't make a lot of sense, since I wasn't exactly emo even when I was a teenager.  I don't understand it, and I can't find an explanation.  All I know is that for the better part of last year I was trying to balance being myself with being someone who doesn't accidentally alienate people without even knowing how I'd been alienating them in the first place.  It probably won't surprise anyone, but I couldn't do it.  It was bewildering . . . torturous.  Months of second-guessing everything I did, said, or thought, and in the end I was more lost than I had been to start with.

I thought this sort of confusion was supposed to . . . just . . . I don't know, evaporate as a person got older.  You know who you are, you get to know other people - so you relate to them.  You can interact and be friends.  Successfully.  Except not me, apparently.  When does the part where you start feeling like an adult start?  Because right now I feel like the ten-year-old trying to blend in at the grown-up table.  I know I'm doing it wrong, and I can see that it's so easy for everyone else at the table - but something is just not connecting.  And there's always that sense in the back of my mind that everyone else has the freedom to say and do whatever comes to mind, but I need to ask permission first.

I'm not sure where to go next.  I suppose I should start trying to find myself again - as cliche and "overdone bildungsroman memoir" as that sounds.  And I think it starts with accepting a few things.  I will never fit in . . . I just won't.  I'm not that kind of person.  I'm always going to be lonely, even in a group.  The good news is that's something I've had since high school to get used to.  It doesn't get easier, but at least it's familiar territory.  And when it gets to the point that I feel unwelcome at social outings . . . well, the library will always let me in.

Of course, it's rather depressing to have no reason to go anywhere else.

I don't know where I'll be in another two years.  But hopefully whatever track I've decided to take between now and then is more successful than the apparently disastrous effort I've dedicated the last two to.  I wish I knew how I went so wrong.  Is there some European thing that could fix me?


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Pretty sure this is what I'll look like going back to work Monday . . .