Sunday, May 12, 2013

What a Difference a Season Makes

It's amazing how in just a few months things have gone from this to this.  At this point I can't even believe I was so excited back in September.

~ So when Hook finds out who Bae is what will win out?  The part where he's Milha's son or the part where he's Rumplilocks' son?

~ Clearly Milha mentioned him . . .

~ Rule #6 . . . and I'm guessing that's all we're gonna get today so drink up.

~ Shouldn't Henry be, like, in school?  With al the other kids in town?

~ On that note, why the crap did Regina bring so many kids?  Girlfriend can really hold a grudge if she felt the need to bring a whole school full.

~ Yeah, the more I see of this "don't care about Bae" personality flip of Rumplilocks' the less I buy it.  Stupidest thing the writers have tried.  And they've tried some really stupid things.

~ Rule #3.

~ That's quite the app on his smartphone . . .

~ How the crap do your people know anything about any of this, Owen?

~ Dude, even if the theories are right and the Darling kids started the Magic is Evil Society after the events of last week that still doesn't explain how they know anything about magic in general or about Storybrooke specifically.

~ I'm sure it's quite reassuring to tell Henry he'll survive to see all the rest of you die, Regina.

~ Punch him again Charming!

~ Props on acknowledging that you keep screwing up, Regina.  I'm guessing it won't stick this time either.

~ Why are the Lost Boys all grown up and creepy looking?

~ So is last week's Creepy Shadow Peter, or just Peter's . . . agent . . . ?

~ And if they're seriously making Peter Pan evil that has got to be the most screwed up thing this show is done.  And easily their biggest mistake.

~ Hooray for Grumpy sighting - pretty sure this scene will be the highlight of the night.

~ I feel like I should offended by the "don't let her die as Lacey" line . . .

~ Part of the ship, part of the crew, Hook?

~ I'm guessing Hook's sob story is totally made up to get Bae to talk.

~ Oh look, a chase scene.  Bet no one saw that coming.

~ I'm all about people sacrificing themselves and stuff . . . but seriously?  This is Regina's redemption arc?  She spends a year flip-flopping worse than a politician and then she dies?  Epic fail.

~ And if they keep killing off all the villains it's going to be really hard to worry about any of the heroes.  Logical Writing 101, writers.

~ You know, the whole Rumplilocks/Belle thing has never quite lost its Twilight vibe.

~ I could make a list of people missing in that diner . . . but it would take the rest of the episode to list them all.  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

~ Well now Hook's going to be after Henry . . .

~ I can't decide if I believe Hook's story about them talking about going back for Bae.

~ Clearly it is possible to leave Neverland, as evidenced by the fact that Hook is in Storybrooke.

~ And a double cross.  Another thing no one saw coming, right?

~ So many reasons to be angry at so many characters right now . . . and yet . . . I just don't care.

~ Interesting contrast to last year's finale . . . then they were beating each other up in a hospital, now they're working together.

~ Can I just say that having the town be eaten by vines was a really dumb way for the fail safe to work?

~ And now we see what the set-up for next season is.

~ Counting down the minutes to Monster's University, by the way.

~ So . . . that Agents of S.H.E.I.L.D. commercial?  Didn't the character who was talking . . . like . . . die in the movie?

~ If Greg and Tamara are so against magic why are they going through a portal?

~ Well, I think they just assured that we'll never be seeing any of the characters I've been complaining about missing again.  Or any of the ones we saw precious little of this season.

~ The whole thing about Henry being Rumplilocks' undoing . . . perhaps the undoing of Rumplilocks being the Dark One?

~ How convenient, Mulan and Aurora got Philip back and found Neil.  What do you want to bet that's a story that never gets explained?

~ That is a really cool globe.

~ I thought Greg and Tamara wanted to get rid of magic in our world?  What do they want with Neverland?

~ Of course, that does support the Darling children theory I mentioned earlier.

~ What the crap do they think they're doing making Peter Pan evil?  Of all the idiotic moves they could have made, that has to take the cake.

~ At this point I'm half convinced that this entire series was conceived as a way to cut down on the ridiculous, inexplicably long lines for Peter Pan's Flight at the parks.

So to sum it all up: what started out freaking amazing has taken a sharper nose dive than my math grades in junior high and a faster plummet than an Olympic diver.

 I may or may not be back next season, but I definitely won't be watching the Wonderland spinoff.  Because seriously, if your answer to dropped plots is spinoffs and your answer to plot holes is is selling "spinoff" novels  you are an incompetent screenwriter. (and yes, those are both things that exist.  and yes, it's as pathetic as it sounds.) 

What about the rest of you?  In or out?

P. ost  S. cript
The perfect thing to wash away that unpleasant aftertaste?  Some 90s-tastic fabulosity.  Make sure you watch to the end. :-)

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