Thursday, May 2, 2013

Finding My Place

I used to be really good about writing in a journal.  All through high school I wrote consistently every week . . . well, I missed a few here and there, but not many.  That tapered off pretty quickly in college - and even though I much prefer actually physically writing, blogging has pretty much replaced it.  Which, obviously, has its pros and cons.

Anyway.  (Sort of) on that note I just want to take a moment to record for posterity how glad I am that the internet exists.  Because if I do have a place in this world, the internet seems to be it.

I've known this for a long time, but in some ways I'm rediscovering it: there is a niche for everyone on the internet.  You'd never guess it reading the comments on a random news article or youtube video, those seem to bring out the very dregs of humanity.  But dig a little deeper and you can find close-knit little communities dedicated to everything under the sun . . . and probably a few things over it too.

Sometimes I feel a little out of place on these sites.  I mean there are people who's lives appear to completely revolve around Stargate SG-1, or color guard, or Tamora Pierce books.  And mine . . . doesn't.  It almost makes me feel like I have ADD or something because I'm a casually-huge fan of sooooooooo many things, so I kind of hop from one "club" to another depending on my mood.  But even so, every time I've stuck my toe timidly into a new fandom pool I've been welcomed whole-heartedly.  And I've really appreciated it - especially considering how much free time I have to spend online.

It's just so nice to have a place(s) and group(s) where I'm completely and truly welcomed and accepted.  Heaven knows that has yet to happen to me in real life.  I'm a somewhat socially awkward person, and the larger the group the more awkward I get.  And that has led to groups where I was tolerated . . . or marginalized . . . or even made into a charity improvement project.  While I've always come away from a group with one or two friendship that have and will last a long time, I've never found success in group settings.  In fact, more often than not my time in them seems to end in some sort of over-dramatic explosion or implosion that's crushing, but deep down is also expected.  (I kind of can't believe I lasted as long as I did in my last attempt at a group, actually.)  And while I don't think my interests are all that out of the ordinary, it's always seemed like I'm the only one I know in real life who's into those things.  In one recent case one of my interests was so mocked that I've been hesitant to even mention it to anyone ever since - even online.

So yeah.  I'm glad the internet exists.  And that there are places on it where people are nice to each other.  I may know a lot of my friends only by screen name and avatar, but at least they don't get snarky when I mention a favorite tv show or movie.  I hope this post doesn't sound like I'm depressed, I'm really feeling more included and encouraged than I have in a while . . . possibly my entire adult life.  Like I'm moving on from some things, getting over others, closing chapters and all those other cliches.  I'm good.  As long as the power doesn't go out. :-)

P. ost  S. cript
Another reason to love the internet.  How else could a bunch of bored Welshmen show off their absolute brilliance?


  1. Over dramatic explosion? More like explosive, out of control mayhem you've seen in movies such as Crimson Tide, The Rock, and Pearl Harbour. ;)

    Actually, I think the Backlot tour group was probably one of the more accepting groups that I've been a part of. That one (at least for me) didn't seem to explode/crash so much as everyone just kind of drifted apart.

    1. Definitely the best one I've ever been in on at least a dozen levels.