Sunday, May 5, 2013

Once Upon Never Landing in Neverland

Previously . . . yeah.  All that stuff happened and nothing really changed.

~ If they try to start this off as an Oliver Twist type story, I swear . . .

~ Stealing bread . . . so they're going with the Les Mis angle . . .

~ They should have had her do the complete introduction.  Wendy Moira Angela Darling.

~ Yeah, I knew that off the top of my head.

~ That had to be an unpleasant bit of deja vu.

~ I will never understand why Rumplilocks and Regina always look so surprised that people aren't doing things for them.

~ Why are they suddenly fighting Emma every step of the way?  Not exactly good for parental bonding, you know?

~ Yeah, the parallels between Rumplilocks/Bae and Owen/Missing Dad are probably supposed to be poignant but they're actually just annoying.

~ That commercial had to be so much fun to film.  Plus it proves that someone out there hasn't forgotten what Regina was like last season.  Seriously, I see almost nothing of the characters from last season in the characters this season.  Forget the "we are both" crap, there's almost nothing left of either original personality and these new third ones suck.

~ Is it, like, a requirement for all Victorian/Edwardian houses to have secret passageways and hiding places?  Not that I'm complaining.

~ It's too bad there wasn't any chance of having the same actor play Hook and Mr. Darling.  That would have been a fun homage.

~ Love how they all have Peter Pan collars on their PJs.  Clever.

~ Snow, why does Rumplilocks have anything he has?  Of all the things he has, Regina's tears are actually one of the less surprising or confusing.

~ I think we all need another drink, Rumplilocks.

~ All I can see is the episode of Friends where Rachel has to use the eye drops and won't.

~ Holy crap that shadow is creepy.

~ Everyone is just so bland.  "Regina's missing." "Oh no." "We thought she was here." "I'm sure she'll turn up."  I mean, could there have been any less emotion in that exchange?

~ Don't give me that crap.  Emma and August were supposed to get together.

~ So does she really not know where missing dad is or does she have some magic way to withstand torture?

~ So Tamara is the Spanish Inquisition?  I suppose that was unexpected.

~ *rimshot*

~ What exactly do they have against magic?  I mean, why would they have anything against Storybrooke existing except for the part where missing dad went missing?  Why do they care?

~ Of course Snow didn't happen to notice Tamara there.  How convenient.

~ I think I need to finally actually read The Great Gatsby so I can go see and hate the movie.

~ Why does the shadow want a boy?  Is it supposed to be Tinkerbell?  I mean, for all that they've destroyed her original character with those stupid fairy movies, she did not exactly take kindly to Wendy.

~ Rule #3 - DRINK!

~ I find it more than a little odd that Rumplilocks is giving up on Neal so quickly, even if it is because of not-Belle's new personality. (it feels to weird to call her Lacey)  Seriously - he spends, like, hundreds of years grooming the perfect protege to enact the curse specifically to find Bae and two minutes after finding him and going back to Storybrooke not-Belle likes evil Rumplilocks and it's all like "Bae who?"  Talk about sloppy writing.

~ Of course Tamara's going to get away.  How convenient.  Ugh.

~ I wonder if this is going to make the lines for Peter Pan at WDW longer or shorter . . .

~ So you stay with Regina and he goes after Greg.  DUH SNOW.  Why has everyone evolved into an idiot this season?!

~ Still not sure how Tamara knew to spill the coffee on him in the first place.  Also not sure I care.

~ Nothing against him, but here's hoping Neal dies.

~ As far as I'm concerned that conversation never happened.

~ Where did you think the shadow would take you, Bae?  Did it seriously only just occur to you that that was where you were going?  Again, what is up with smart characters acting stupid?

~ At least we get a cute daddy/daughter moment out of this disaster.

~ Yes, Regina, she saved you.  And yet, next week you will be trying to kill her again.  It's quite the predictable cycle.

~ Why would Rumplilocks include a fail safe in the curse?  And if Regina could add her own fail safe why did she need the curse from Rumplilocks in the first place?  Why couldn't she make it herself?

Tune in next week, same bad-writing time, same no-answers channel.

P. ost  S. cript
Koalas are officially the cutest things on the planet.  If I were the type to have an exotic pet it would totally be a koala.

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