Second Graders Are My Favorite

~ They get crazy excited when they find out you have the same birthday.  To the point where they tell the rest of the class and when you walk in they all start yelling "happy birthday!" and giving you hugs.

~ The kid who asks you how old you are every day (and after the first month you say "the same age I was last time" and they get excited when they remember correctly) asks you how old you are now and you ask them to tell you and they get excited when they get it right.
           ~ Hey, adding one is a big task when you get to numbers this high!

~ They react in shock when they hear how old you are and say things like "You look like you're 16 or 17!"

~ They tell you how old their mothers are and the numbers are all shockingly low . . . or high.

~ Like the one who told me her mom was born a year after my own.

~ They come up behind you and give you hugs for no reason.

~ They tell you you're their favorite.

~ They take spelling tests on homophones and when they hear the word is "too, as in also,"  write "olso."

~ They hear the word is "their as in 'I'm going to their house'," and they write "house."

~ They only know half a dozen jokes but they love to tell you jokes so they scramble the jokes and punchlines.  It doesn't make any sense but they don't get why it's not funny anymore and that makes you laugh.  So they keep doing it.

~ And it gets to the point that they ask the question and you sit there for three minutes watching the little gears in their head spinning as they try to come up with a combination they haven't used before.

~ They're ready for summer but they're not completely burned out like the fourth graders.

~ They love telling you what time it is and how many more minutes there are until lunch (although they will apparently lose this skill within the next two years . . . don't even get me started).

~ They're still cute.


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You know what's crazy?  She's probably, like, seven or eight by now.  Yep . . . a second grader.

Also - we are so doing this.

What a Difference a Season Makes

It's amazing how in just a few months things have gone from this to this.  At this point I can't even believe I was so excited back in September.


~ So when Hook finds out who Bae is what will win out?  The part where he's Milha's son or the part where he's Rumplilocks' son?

~ Clearly Milha mentioned him . . .

~ Rule #6 . . . and I'm guessing that's all we're gonna get today so drink up.

~ Shouldn't Henry be, like, in school?  With al the other kids in town?

~ On that note, why the crap did Regina bring so many kids?  Girlfriend can really hold a grudge if she felt the need to bring a whole school full.

~ Yeah, the more I see of this "don't care about Bae" personality flip of Rumplilocks' the less I buy it.  Stupidest thing the writers have tried.  And they've tried some really stupid things.

~ Rule #3.

~ That's quite the app on his smartphone . . .

~ How the crap do your people know anything about any of this, Owen?

~ Dude, even if the theories are right and the Darling kids started the Magic is Evil Society after the events of last week that still doesn't explain how they know anything about magic in general or about Storybrooke specifically.

~ I'm sure it's quite reassuring to tell Henry he'll survive to see all the rest of you die, Regina.

~ Punch him again Charming!

~ Props on acknowledging that you keep screwing up, Regina.  I'm guessing it won't stick this time either.

~ Why are the Lost Boys all grown up and creepy looking?

~ So is last week's Creepy Shadow Peter, or just Peter's . . . agent . . . ?

~ And if they're seriously making Peter Pan evil that has got to be the most screwed up thing this show is done.  And easily their biggest mistake.

~ Hooray for Grumpy sighting - pretty sure this scene will be the highlight of the night.

~ I feel like I should offended by the "don't let her die as Lacey" line . . .

~ Part of the ship, part of the crew, Hook?

~ I'm guessing Hook's sob story is totally made up to get Bae to talk.

~ Oh look, a chase scene.  Bet no one saw that coming.

~ I'm all about people sacrificing themselves and stuff . . . but seriously?  This is Regina's redemption arc?  She spends a year flip-flopping worse than a politician and then she dies?  Epic fail.

~ And if they keep killing off all the villains it's going to be really hard to worry about any of the heroes.  Logical Writing 101, writers.

~ You know, the whole Rumplilocks/Belle thing has never quite lost its Twilight vibe.

~ I could make a list of people missing in that diner . . . but it would take the rest of the episode to list them all.  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

~ Well now Hook's going to be after Henry . . .

~ I can't decide if I believe Hook's story about them talking about going back for Bae.

~ Clearly it is possible to leave Neverland, as evidenced by the fact that Hook is in Storybrooke.

~ And a double cross.  Another thing no one saw coming, right?

~ So many reasons to be angry at so many characters right now . . . and yet . . . I just don't care.

~ Interesting contrast to last year's finale . . . then they were beating each other up in a hospital, now they're working together.

~ Can I just say that having the town be eaten by vines was a really dumb way for the fail safe to work?

~ And now we see what the set-up for next season is.

~ Counting down the minutes to Monster's University, by the way.

~ So . . . that Agents of S.H.E.I.L.D. commercial?  Didn't the character who was talking . . . like . . . die in the movie?

~ If Greg and Tamara are so against magic why are they going through a portal?

~ Well, I think they just assured that we'll never be seeing any of the characters I've been complaining about missing again.  Or any of the ones we saw precious little of this season.

~ The whole thing about Henry being Rumplilocks' undoing . . . perhaps the undoing of Rumplilocks being the Dark One?

~ How convenient, Mulan and Aurora got Philip back and found Neil.  What do you want to bet that's a story that never gets explained?

~ That is a really cool globe.

~ I thought Greg and Tamara wanted to get rid of magic in our world?  What do they want with Neverland?

~ Of course, that does support the Darling children theory I mentioned earlier.

~ What the crap do they think they're doing making Peter Pan evil?  Of all the idiotic moves they could have made, that has to take the cake.

~ At this point I'm half convinced that this entire series was conceived as a way to cut down on the ridiculous, inexplicably long lines for Peter Pan's Flight at the parks.

So to sum it all up: what started out freaking amazing has taken a sharper nose dive than my math grades in junior high and a faster plummet than an Olympic diver.

 
 I may or may not be back next season, but I definitely won't be watching the Wonderland spinoff.  Because seriously, if your answer to dropped plots is spinoffs and your answer to plot holes is is selling "spinoff" novels  you are an incompetent screenwriter. (and yes, those are both things that exist.  and yes, it's as pathetic as it sounds.) 

What about the rest of you?  In or out?

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The perfect thing to wash away that unpleasant aftertaste?  Some 90s-tastic fabulosity.  Make sure you watch to the end. :-)

Once Upon Never Landing in Neverland

Previously . . . yeah.  All that stuff happened and nothing really changed.


~ If they try to start this off as an Oliver Twist type story, I swear . . .

~ Stealing bread . . . so they're going with the Les Mis angle . . .

~ They should have had her do the complete introduction.  Wendy Moira Angela Darling.

~ Yeah, I knew that off the top of my head.

~ That had to be an unpleasant bit of deja vu.

~ I will never understand why Rumplilocks and Regina always look so surprised that people aren't doing things for them.

~ Why are they suddenly fighting Emma every step of the way?  Not exactly good for parental bonding, you know?

~ Yeah, the parallels between Rumplilocks/Bae and Owen/Missing Dad are probably supposed to be poignant but they're actually just annoying.

~ That commercial had to be so much fun to film.  Plus it proves that someone out there hasn't forgotten what Regina was like last season.  Seriously, I see almost nothing of the characters from last season in the characters this season.  Forget the "we are both" crap, there's almost nothing left of either original personality and these new third ones suck.

~ Is it, like, a requirement for all Victorian/Edwardian houses to have secret passageways and hiding places?  Not that I'm complaining.

~ It's too bad there wasn't any chance of having the same actor play Hook and Mr. Darling.  That would have been a fun homage.

~ Love how they all have Peter Pan collars on their PJs.  Clever.

~ Snow, why does Rumplilocks have anything he has?  Of all the things he has, Regina's tears are actually one of the less surprising or confusing.

~ I think we all need another drink, Rumplilocks.

~ All I can see is the episode of Friends where Rachel has to use the eye drops and won't.

~ Holy crap that shadow is creepy.

~ Everyone is just so bland.  "Regina's missing." "Oh no." "We thought she was here." "I'm sure she'll turn up."  I mean, could there have been any less emotion in that exchange?

~ Don't give me that crap.  Emma and August were supposed to get together.

~ So does she really not know where missing dad is or does she have some magic way to withstand torture?

~ So Tamara is the Spanish Inquisition?  I suppose that was unexpected.

~ *rimshot*

~ What exactly do they have against magic?  I mean, why would they have anything against Storybrooke existing except for the part where missing dad went missing?  Why do they care?

~ Of course Snow didn't happen to notice Tamara there.  How convenient.

~ I think I need to finally actually read The Great Gatsby so I can go see and hate the movie.

~ Why does the shadow want a boy?  Is it supposed to be Tinkerbell?  I mean, for all that they've destroyed her original character with those stupid fairy movies, she did not exactly take kindly to Wendy.

~ Rule #3 - DRINK!

~ I find it more than a little odd that Rumplilocks is giving up on Neal so quickly, even if it is because of not-Belle's new personality. (it feels to weird to call her Lacey)  Seriously - he spends, like, hundreds of years grooming the perfect protege to enact the curse specifically to find Bae and two minutes after finding him and going back to Storybrooke not-Belle likes evil Rumplilocks and it's all like "Bae who?"  Talk about sloppy writing.

~ Of course Tamara's going to get away.  How convenient.  Ugh.

~ I wonder if this is going to make the lines for Peter Pan at WDW longer or shorter . . .

~ So you stay with Regina and he goes after Greg.  DUH SNOW.  Why has everyone evolved into an idiot this season?!

~ Still not sure how Tamara knew to spill the coffee on him in the first place.  Also not sure I care.

~ Nothing against him, but here's hoping Neal dies.

~ As far as I'm concerned that conversation never happened.

~ Where did you think the shadow would take you, Bae?  Did it seriously only just occur to you that that was where you were going?  Again, what is up with smart characters acting stupid?

~ At least we get a cute daddy/daughter moment out of this disaster.

~ Yes, Regina, she saved you.  And yet, next week you will be trying to kill her again.  It's quite the predictable cycle.

~ Why would Rumplilocks include a fail safe in the curse?  And if Regina could add her own fail safe why did she need the curse from Rumplilocks in the first place?  Why couldn't she make it herself?

Tune in next week, same bad-writing time, same no-answers channel.


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Koalas are officially the cutest things on the planet.  If I were the type to have an exotic pet it would totally be a koala.

Finding My Place

I used to be really good about writing in a journal.  All through high school I wrote consistently every week . . . well, I missed a few here and there, but not many.  That tapered off pretty quickly in college - and even though I much prefer actually physically writing, blogging has pretty much replaced it.  Which, obviously, has its pros and cons.

Anyway.  (Sort of) on that note I just want to take a moment to record for posterity how glad I am that the internet exists.  Because if I do have a place in this world, the internet seems to be it.

I've known this for a long time, but in some ways I'm rediscovering it: there is a niche for everyone on the internet.  You'd never guess it reading the comments on a random news article or youtube video, those seem to bring out the very dregs of humanity.  But dig a little deeper and you can find close-knit little communities dedicated to everything under the sun . . . and probably a few things over it too.

Sometimes I feel a little out of place on these sites.  I mean there are people who's lives appear to completely revolve around Stargate SG-1, or color guard, or Tamora Pierce books.  And mine . . . doesn't.  It almost makes me feel like I have ADD or something because I'm a casually-huge fan of sooooooooo many things, so I kind of hop from one "club" to another depending on my mood.  But even so, every time I've stuck my toe timidly into a new fandom pool I've been welcomed whole-heartedly.  And I've really appreciated it - especially considering how much free time I have to spend online.

It's just so nice to have a place(s) and group(s) where I'm completely and truly welcomed and accepted.  Heaven knows that has yet to happen to me in real life.  I'm a somewhat socially awkward person, and the larger the group the more awkward I get.  And that has led to groups where I was tolerated . . . or marginalized . . . or even made into a charity improvement project.  While I've always come away from a group with one or two friendship that have and will last a long time, I've never found success in group settings.  In fact, more often than not my time in them seems to end in some sort of over-dramatic explosion or implosion that's crushing, but deep down is also expected.  (I kind of can't believe I lasted as long as I did in my last attempt at a group, actually.)  And while I don't think my interests are all that out of the ordinary, it's always seemed like I'm the only one I know in real life who's into those things.  In one recent case one of my interests was so mocked that I've been hesitant to even mention it to anyone ever since - even online.

So yeah.  I'm glad the internet exists.  And that there are places on it where people are nice to each other.  I may know a lot of my friends only by screen name and avatar, but at least they don't get snarky when I mention a favorite tv show or movie.  I hope this post doesn't sound like I'm depressed, I'm really feeling more included and encouraged than I have in a while . . . possibly my entire adult life.  Like I'm moving on from some things, getting over others, closing chapters and all those other cliches.  I'm good.  As long as the power doesn't go out. :-)


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Another reason to love the internet.  How else could a bunch of bored Welshmen show off their absolute brilliance?