Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Alway a Little Off

I've never fallen into that category one would call "on par with one's peers." From reading Dickens at 5 to being 27 and child free in Utah there are not many things I've done when I was "supposed" to.

This used to bother me. A lot. Particularly when it involved anything having to do with relationships. At graduation from high school I was one of the ones pegged to get married my freshman year. Now, this may come as a bit of a shock to a few of you . . . but that didn't quite happen. :-)

No, I went through college essentially dateless. Okay, I had a few dates (four, I think) but they were all set-ups, so that's how I'm counting it. Every year I had at least one roommate get engaged and I felt more and more left out and left behind. And even a little depressed because, as we all know, a 20-something girl in Utah is only worth as much as she can get herself dates/diamonds. So there were times when I felt pretty worthless.

Somewhere along the line my senior year I finally started to accept myself for who I was and where I was. It was perfect timing too, I went off to Florida ready to leave everything behind and finally be more of who I wanted to be and not so much who I was "supposed" to be. I met a ton of people my age - people who thought it was crazy when I told them that the majority of my friends back home were married, some even with multiple kids. At one point someone said, meaning it entirely complimentary, that I was "level headed, even if I was from Utah." Finally I had found a circle of peers with whom I was on the same course! I told myself that I was probably never going to get married and that that was okay, but if it did happen that was okay too and I would just live my life the way I wanted, being the best person I could be, and I would be happy either way.

Well, can I just say that sort of thinking needs to be taught more in YW lessons? Because we all know what happened next. Exactly a year after I got to Florida - almost to the day! - Luke showed up. And four months later . . . well, I was off track with everyone else again.

I thought I'd be this loner somewhere in the middle of two trends - my high school and college friends mostly having married several years before and my "heathen" Florida friends not likely to marry for several years after me. But while we were engaged a . . . well, we'll call it an interesting thing . . . happened. When we announced our engagement to our friends (two months after the fact . . . didn't want to see too Utah, lol) I got a text from a friend that boiled down to "I'm happy for you, but I think you guys are too young to get married." From someone who is my age. And while we were engaged, that person got engaged and is now happily married (I would assume), with an anniversary only about six months after ours. Still a little confused by that when I think about it.

And after that it seemed like we started a trend. At least a little one. Since then about half a dozen of my Florida friends have gotten married. Not a lot really, and nothing compared to all the engagement announcements that just kept coming my first couple of years of college, but WAY more than I ever expected from that circle for at least a few more years.

Soooooooo . . . here I am thinking I'm on track with a group again, yay!! We'll all hang out in our respective towns, many of us having gone our separate ways, and in two or three or five or eight more years or whatever some of us will start having kids.

I'm sure you can see where this is going.

(okay, there seriously needs to be a drum roll here. an epic, timpani roll.)

Including ALL circles of friends I currently know 13 - THIRTEEN - women who are pregnant. I have another FOURTEEN friends who have babies under a year old. And that's not including anyone who hasn't announced it yet. Most are first babies, but some are 3rd, 4th, or even 8th babies.

Okay, not eighth. But my point stands. And that point is . . .

Ho. Ly. Crap.

Suffice it to say, there is no way they're all getting baby bibs, even though I'd love to be able to send them all some. But a snowball has a better chance of getting nice and comfy and chilly in hell before I could manage to get the nine more sets I would need to do in the next few months. This has brought me to a couple of conclusions:

1 ~ By the time I am actually able to stockpile these bibs in accordance to my genius idea last year . . . I'M NOT GOING TO NEED THEM ANYMORE. Unless I decide to give them to my grandkids . . . you know, for their kids!

2 ~ You people must really be enjoying yourselves, *wink, wink*nudge, nudge* Dude.

I'm okay with being a little off from everyone else now. Have been for a few years. But sometimes things happen . . . like, you know, a period of time where it feels like the facebook pregnancy announcements are coming on a daily basis . . . where I just have to stop and think to myself - dang, I really don't march to everyone else's drummer! And then I think of how easy it is to pick out someone who's off step in a marching band. That used to make me feel like everyone was staring at me, even the thought of which kind of makes me freak out. Thankfully, I'm realizing people don't keep that close track of what I'm up to.

Except, you know, my parents. They've been on Baby Watch for going on four years now. (Team Jayla has a year on us.) In their case, I think I shall stick with the line that we're waiting for my dad to get a job again so my mother can afford to buy the entire inventory of Babies'R'Us . . . because everyone who knows my mom knows she will do it anyway. :-)

P. ost S. cript
Most of the "Hitler reacts" videos are hysterical . . . but this one? 100% fact. I'm not one to get super activist-y, but this has got to be stopped. It is beyond insane, and don't think it won't affect you. If it passes, my blog is sure to be gone - and yours probably will be too. Spread the word, join the fight, and do all those other cliched activist things. This is NOT. OKAY.


  1. I feel like I've never been one to fit it either... and that's okay with me :)

    It's funny how people can have an issue with something no matter what you do... some people must be bored or jealous of you.

    By the way, your bibs are DARLING!! :)

  2. Oh Lacey, you are one of my favorite people. I miss our conversations in English and French classes. You guys should SO move to St. George...

  3. Moving to NY did that for me too. Those three years really helped me to step away from all the perceived expectations and get a lot more comfortable with who I am. After being back for a semester I had to get away again and then Vegas did the same for me for another 4 years. Only now as a fairly confident adult am I able to enjoy what Utah has to offer. :)

  4. Lacy - Thanks! I have fun working on them.

    Sarah - If only there were more there for us than awesome conversation we'd be there already!! :-)

    Amanda - Isn't it amazing how that works? Everyone I know who's gotten out for a while has said the same sort of thing. I really think a year out of state should be required for all college aged girls to get a little perspective.