Monday, September 26, 2011

The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street To Serve Man

Ten points if you got the reference. Twenty if you got both. :-)

Things Lacey should know about herself but keeps forgetting: watching The Twilight Zone whilst home alone and it's dark out is an incredibly stupid idea because some of those episodes have the same effect as a show that shall remain unnamed this time around. Because seriously, even thinking of that one is likely to give me nightmares for a month. (aw, crap, now that theme song is in my head . . . )

Things Lacey Remembers: The Twilight Zone is freaking awesome. And available on netflix instant (for now anyway . . . but that's a rant I've been ranting for longer than I'm willing to admit, so we'll just leave it at that.)

Anyway, long story short I've thoroughly terrified myself for the last two weekends. And it's been kind of great. There's just something delicious about the chills that run the spine at the first sound of the opening credits. Especially the original opening. It's just more mysterious and creepy and chilling to begin with, and then the familiar one, while still lovely in its creepy dissonance has become such a catch phrase that it's almost cliche. Of course, there's also the fact that after about a million times my mind still automatically starts in on "Hollywood, 1939 . . . " in its Rod Serling voice. I'm thinking that's not going to go away, but it definitely kinda kills the terror vibe.

My all time scariest episode? "Time Enough at Last." Hands down. Because as much as I talk about characters I love, characters I have crushes on, characters I wish I could be like . . . I am probably most like Mr. Henry Bemis. (not to mention I simply can't hear Burgess Meredith's voice without thinking of this movie, and that's just good memories all around.) I am a reader. An obsessed reader. I have been known to read appliance manuals if nothing else was available. It is nothing short of a miracle that I haven't been fired for reading on the job . . . okay, I'm not that bad.

But seriously, I've seen this episode at least a dozen times and still every time my heart breaks for the poor guy at the end. Assuming, of course, that it has started beating again after the poetry book scene - sometimes it hasn't. And I know it's completely and utterly irrational, but every time I can't help but think that hey, this is the Twilight Zone - maybe it will end differently this time!! Which I know is completely and utterly ridiculous . . . but it honestly physically hurts me to see all those piles and piles of books and nothing to do in the world but read them and how much I would love to be the person in that position and then that cruel, cruel twist . . . I'm sure you're all already laughing hysterically at what a little nutcase I am, but the first time I saw this episode I cried. Just a little. Because seriously, talk about depressing.

And don't even get me started about "The Obsolete Man." It's gonna happen y'all. Maybe not for a while, but, uh . . . yeah. So gonna happen.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to lament the future like someone four times my age. And get myself so completely freaked out that by Halloween I'll be screaming in terror every time the doorbell rings. (wait a second . . . we're actually going to get trick-or-treaters this year . . . crap . . . that means buying candy before it's on discount . . . grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr)

P. ost S. cript
Yeah, I know, I'm always raving about how awesome Sesame Street spoofs are . . . but this one will never be topped. It is THAT spot on. Luke and I seriously laughed for ten minutes. Watch it. Watch it now. :-)


  1. Hollywood, 1939. Amid the glitz and glitter of a bustling young movie town at the height of it's golden age, the Hollywood Tower Hotel was a star in it's own right. A beacon for the show business elite. Now, something is about to happen that will change all that ...

    (The really sad part is that was 90% from memory)

  2. Not if you go somewhere for Halloween. Or keep your house super dark.

  3. Adam and I have decided I can NOT watch any more scary movies. I watched The Grudge and The Ring and didn't sleep with the light off for WEEKS! On that same list, is any show on TV that has ghost stories and/or ghost hunters involved. In general, anything ghosty has now been banned from our viewing :)

  4. Lol, I rarely watch scary movies, and the ones I watch skew more to the "Sixth Sense" end of the spectrum than The Ring or The Grudge. But Twilight Zone is just irresistible for some reason.

    And I'll have to find something to do Halloween night. Something that doesn't involve sitting at home watching Garfield's Halloween Special. :-)

  5. I read Monsters are Due every year with my kids and then watch the episode! They love it. Especially when we start talking about what fear the producers were playing. Their favorite part is when the guy (Shatner) opens the window to find the "monkey" staring them. It's hilarious because in every class there is screaming.

  6. This is the part where I show how much of a geek I am . . . the one you're talking about is called "Nightmare at 30,000 Feet." I've only seen it once, but it is pretty awesome. :-)

  7. You would be correct. Duh me, I got the two mixed up. We read the teleplay of "Monsters..." then because we have extra time in class we watch "Nightmare..." because of that scene. We, meaning teachers, always get a good laugh at them. Is it cruel that's the only reason we let them watch that episode...

    Live on on.

  8. That? Is awesome. I would love to see a class all about analyzing Twilight Zone. So fun!