Monday, August 1, 2011

More than the Job

It's so frustrating when your job status is up in the air. I've had a lovely (if sometimes dull) summer, and now it's time to start wondering/worrying about whether I'll be back at school in a few weeks, and in what capacity. It'll be so great to be able to go back, both because then I'll have something to keep me much more occupied, and because I feel a little useless at times while we're living off just Luke's paycheck. Like I'm not contributing anything to our little family. Luke keeps telling me that I do and pointing out all the . . . well, for lack of a better term, housewife-ly . . . things I do. Things that need done that he either can't do (like cook) or it would be a pain in the butt for him to add to his chore list just considering demands on time. (like laundry . . . on the major plus side, Luke cleans the bathroom. I'll willingly do everything else just for that!)

So on the one hand I know there's nothing wrong with the way we've got things set up because it works for us. On the other hand, so much of a person's worth in the eyes of other people is tied to that person's job. It made it really hard for me when it was taking me so long to find one - and since that wasn't so long ago the idea of having to start hunting again for any reason really freaks me out. Especially since there is a person out there who called me lazy, and said I needed to "just grow up already, and go get a job."

I still don't know quite what to think of that. For, what, 3 years now all anyone can talk about is how everyone in the freaking country is having trouble getting a job and my problem is that I'm lazy? How is a person even supposed to respond to that? I don't know if the comment was just evidence of a callous personality, thoughtlessness, or their inability to deal with personally knowing someone stuck in crappy job search mode. All I know is that I literally cried myself to sleep that night.

So I keep reminding myself that I - and everyone else - am more than just my job. More than just what I do on a daily basis, both during the school year and during the summer. Everyone has layers to them. Everyone has different things to offer. Everyone out there is more than just their job. I am more than just my job.

It's been months said that person said that. Honestly, I don't really think about it much anymore. But occasionally I do, especially at points in time like now. And I'm realizing that the sting of the statement is probably never going to go away. It's not that surprising; it was a cruel thing to say, and it came at one of the times I was feeling the most useless. But when it comes to mind, I just remind myself that they didn't know what they were talking about. That Luke and I are both okay with our situation (although we wouldn't say no to substantial raises, lol). And that's all that really matters.

And if, heaven forbid, I don't get a phone call in the next couple of weeks . . . well, I guess I'll find something new. Even if it takes another year.

(but keep those prayers and voodoo rituals and stuff coming, k?)


P. ost S. cript
So I was watching this extreme thrills thing on the Travel Channel this morning and they included zorbing. Totally made me want to go back to Rotorua. However, seeing as the only US location, Pigeon Forge, is about a day's drive from where Team Jayla is currently residing . . . well, Tennessee it is! We'll just have to get out there for a visit. Because this? Is awesome. (but zigzagging is better.)


10 comments:

  1. I wish you luck in job hunting. You can always apply at my school and be an aid in my classroom. Yeah that would be awesome! Two English/French/Disney-loving people teaching kids...oh yeah!

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  2. Wait. Someone actually said that to you? Someone you know well? Huh. I guess we have a story to kick off Thursday, now don't we? Because I'm JUST that nosy.

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  3. Oh man- so sorry Lacey! I hate when people are thoughtless and don't filter what they say.

    You are SO much more than a silly job or paycheck. SO MUCH. I hope Thursday can bring healing and a good dose of laughter :)

    Hang in there and let me know how it all goes.

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  4. Sarah - if I wasn't pretty sure I'd die of heat stroke in about 5 minutes . . . :-) It would be so fun though!!!

    Maggie - Thanks. :-)

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  5. It always amazes me the things that come out of people's mouths. How thoughtless and utterly untrue!

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  6. I hope it wasn't me. I don't think it was me. Will you let me know if it was me?

    Meanwhile, I'll stick something in here in defense of coarse Internet comments--our friend Dani just posted something on That-Site-You-Dislike-That-Starts-With-F that I think is relavant to hurtful comments:

    "I'm far too comfortable hiding behind my... veil of detachment and... want to let my opinions fly."

    We all have privacy behind our own computers, so we type things that we wouldn't dare to say in person, in real-life conversation. Sometimes we feel sarcasm or mean to be mockingly-bitter-but-excusable online, and it just doesn't read that way.

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  7. Kate - of course it wasn't you!

    That said . . . it wasn't over the internet either.

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  8. Hiya Lacey! I always read your blog, but I'm a pretty terrible comment-writer. But I just wanted to say that I know this feeling well! Looking for a job is the WORST. And aside from people being jerks about it (I can't believe someone was so rude to you!), there are even all the well-meaning "how's the job hunt going?" askers who can make you feel a little lame answering "nothing yet" over and over and over and over. Trust me, Justin has been looking for a job since Thanksgiving and only got one at the beginning of July, so we definitely know those feelings well. But you are right, you're more than your job (keep repeating that!) and when the time is right, you'll find one. It's just a matter of being patient and trying your best 'til then! Who wouldn't hire you anyway, right?!

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  9. Ohhhh- I can't believe someone said that. I'd love to see him/her come manage a group of challenging 3rd graders!

    I know what you mean about peoples' comments and being sure that what you do works for YOU. While RJ was home with Will and I was working both jobs we got a LOT of such comments. We had to remind ourselves that we were doing what was right for us, despite what others thought!

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  10. I cannot believe someone said that to you!

    RUDE.

    I really hope you get this great new job :)

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