Sunday, July 19, 2009

Soap Box Moment

So yesterday was mine and Luke's three-month anniversary - yay!! Anyway, we decided to celebrate that and Luke's first Convergys paycheck (it doubled the number in our bank account!) so we ate at Cral's Jr. Classy, eh? Anyway, I got the Santa Fe chicken sandwich (yummy) combo, medium because I was fairly thirsty and I figured it would be a pretty good-sized drink to fix that. The guy hands me a cup that was - I kid you not - a good eight inches tall. What?!? What the CRAP?!?!? That's monster sized!!! Now, I realize there is only one person (to my knowledge) younger than me who reads my blog, so I'll probably cause a few eye rolls here, but . . . I remember when drinks that size were considered extra large!!! Luke got a small. Again, HUGE cup considering it was supposed to be "small," but it was more the size drink I'd had in mind. Seriously? How did this happen? I've seen all the news reports and articles and stuff talking about how portion sizes are, like, three times as big as they were twenty years ago. I don't get it. Why did places start serving more food? Wasn't it cheaper to keep things small? Let's just keep with the drinks. Cups were smaller. That meant less liquid in the cup. Less consumed . . . and you have to replenish the supply less often. And since the cups were smaller, it would take a smaller box to ship them to the individual restaurants. Or you could use the same size box and ship more. Either way is still more efficient than making the cups bigger. Or plates, bread supply, meat patties, whatever. How does making things bigger make sense financially? And people wonder why they're fat?! Yeah, that's kind of an awesome photo blog I've discovered. I'll admit some of the stuff on there looks like it would make a yummy occasional treat. But some of it . . . I can't imagine people eating it! Forget "this is why you're fat" . . . this is why there are people who weigh 500+ pounds and haven't left their bed in years! What is wrong with society that people are eating like this?!

Okay, soap box moment number two. We also went to the mall yesterday, and I was browsing through the cards at Hallmark because I love doing that. (Side note: Hallmark is hiring - cross your fingers for me!!) So I scan through all the birthday cards picking up the ones that catch my eye, slowly making my way down the aisle. And the birthday cards slowly morph their way into engagement and bridal shower cards, and there, right between the shower cards and the wedding cards is a tiny little section. So small, in fact, that there are three to five different types of cards in a single slot. Intriguing . . . what are these cards that Hallmark needs to keep such a small stock of them on the shelves? Only the dumbest cards in existence.

1) A "new car" card. No, not a "yay, you're 16, stay off the sidewalks, Morgan has the keys" card. A "you bought a new mini-van because your old one died, yay!" card. What? Seriously? LAME!

2) A "going off to college" card. (these are the headings Hallmark has them under . . . not making this up!) What? I opened that one . . . it said something to the effect of "as you start this new phase in life . . . blah blah blah . . . ambition . . . blah . . . dreams . . . blah . . . goals . . . blah blah" Again, what? The last time I checked, that was called a graduation card, and you got it at the end of the school year. So when did people start getting a second card three months later that said essentially the same thing? Talk about a Hallmark created "holiday" Valentine's and Mother's Day have nothing on this one! And why the heck hadn't they created this fake occasion back when I graduated high school? I could have scored twice the graduation money, DANGIT!!!! (please note: last sentence should be read dripping with sarcasm. kind of like some of those nasty food pictures are dripping with sauces.)

3) A "child's dance recital" card. I confess that by this point I was somewhat disgusted, so I didn't pick it up, but I think I can guess at its contents. "Congratulations on having the money to put your kid in dance so you have to go sit through a boring dance recital. Guess what? I don't! Woot." Seriously, what's next? A "congratulations, you've potty trained you're kid" card? Actually, there might have been one of those. I didn't spend a lot of time looking at these ones. I was too blown away by what I saw to keep looking. I think I'm scarred for life now.

Okay, getting off the soap box now. I just spent so much time wondering at the state of society that I had to spew it out a little. Good times.

P. ost S. cript
And continuing to peruse from the file of ridiculousness, this one comes straight out of the so-bad-it's-gota-be-good pile. Luke and I found this trailer for the straight-to-DVD gem a while back and we pull it up every now and again when we feel like mocking something. We've decided we HAVE to get this movie . . . and of course by "HAVE to" we mean we'll "definitely be grabbing it if we happen to notice it at the top of Walmart's $5 bin when we walk by." But the trailer is always good for a laugh or three.


  1. I darn well better get cards when I'm done potty training. It takes a LOT more to do that than graduate from high school. Seriously. Expect an announcement...

  2. Just make sure you put it on facebook. Then you'll be web famous . . . I'll submit it to stfuparents . . . :-)

  3. Maybe I could find a 'Luke & Lacey let Morgan drive their car and all is in one piece' card! ;) Hahahahahaha