Saturday Morning Memory

Ten points if you get it.



So back in the day Saturday Morning Cartoons were pretty much the coolest thing in the world. Now . . . I don't know if anyone else has checked them out lately but . . . they suck. So I'm replacing them with potentially amusing stories from back when they rocked socks off. Because I'm awesome like that. :-)

So as we all know I've been watching a lot of Friends reruns lately. Among other things, I've discovered the source of various quotes and soundbytes I was already familiar with, as well as getting a lot more references made at book club. A couple weeks ago they played the one where Phoebe sings for kids at a library or something. And all the adults freak out because she's singing about how the barnyard animals are also the meat in our hamburgers. Randomly, that brought back a lot of memories.

I've never understood the concept of trying to shield kids from facts like pigs = pork. We always knew exactly what we were eating, and I don't think it scarred us that much. I think I'll let you make the final judgment though. Here's your evidence:

1 ~ Dad had an uncle who lives in Downey. (not the fabric softener for those not familiar with tiny Idaho towns) One year when I was about six or so Uncle Carl slaughtered some pigs and we got one. I'm not sure if it was a female pig, but my siblings and I promptly christened the dead pig Amanda. And ate it with relish. Every time we ate sausage/bacon/pork chops/whatever we always had to ask if we were eating Amanda or another pig. She was delicious.

2 ~ Dad also hunted a lot when I was a kid, so we were always eating things like venison, elk, antelope . . . lots of "wild" food. It's also pretty delicious. One year Dad got a deer that must have been a bit younger, because we named that one Bambi. And ate it. Bambi was delicious too.

3 ~ When we moved to Tremonton my parents bought an acre of land specifically to have their own little mini-farm. Our first four pigs were named Ham, Bacon, Sausage, and Pork Chop. Please note, we actually raised these pigs instead of getting them when they were already dead. Rian played with them when they were piglets. And they were - wait for it - delicious. As was the steer named Dinner a couple of years ago.

4 ~ This is one of those always-brought-up childhood stories. Dad was going hunting for either pheasant or grouse . . . don't remember which. He took me and Ashli with him because mom wasn't feeling well. (I believe this was when she was pregnant with Rian, making me 5 and Ashli 3.) I have no idea where exactly we went, all I know is he parked the car behind a very tall haystack and told us to stay there. Then he went on his merry hunting way. Came back later with a couple of birds, and left again. He says he wasn't gone for more than an hour or so total. I remember it as being several hours. Either way, we got bored. So when dad got back the second time he found us dragging the birds around by their necks with their feet on the ground and saying "Look, Daddy! He's alive! He's walking!" I don't remember what else we did with them, but I would assume perhaps making them talk to each other or peck the ground like they were eating bugs or something. I do remember touching their eyeballs. And them being squishy. Don't remember why I did that . . . we must have gotten really bored. Like I said, it was hours! We had to do something for entertainment! :-)

I don't remember eating the birds, but I'm sure they were delicious.

Those of you who have come to the conclusion that I am decidedly unfit to be working with children can direct your complaints to Ellis Elementary. :-P

Yeah . . . like any of you thought I was normal even before now . . .


P. ost S. cript
By far the best part of Saturday mornings. These should be required viewing in schools . . . seriously, whenever I count by threes, I do it to the tune of Three is a Magic Number.