Sunday, April 21, 2013

Once Upon a ME!!!!!

So I think we've all noticed that the writing of this show has taken quite the plummet downhill since Emma and Snow got back to Storybrooke from their little jaunt in FTL. (side note: MULAN AND AURORA BETTER NOT GO THE WAY OF CINDERELLA AND ABIGAIL, DANGIT!!)

(side note to the side note: all caps before the show even starts can't be a good sign)


You know what I love?  Shows like Stargate SG-1 who put the title up on the screen at the beginning.  It's awesome because then you have such an easy way to reference different episodes . . . mostly amongst other fans nerdy enough to know the names . . . but still.


Point being, all the cool kids know that tonight's episode is titled "Lacey."  I also know why (because among other stupid things the writers do, they don't even try to prevent little details and even spoilers from getting out) but we're going to pretend it was named after me.  Just like the town in Washington.  Which totally was.  Named after me.

~ Previously Tamara sucked.

~ And so did accident boy . . . probably.

~ AUGUST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ Still wondering how you freaking taze wood.

~ It must be so nice for Henry to finally have a birthday acknowledged.

~ Not sure I would've picked a wand.

~ Didn't see that coming.

~ Or the dream part.  Not bad.

~ Oh yeah, Regina didn't know who Henry's father was yet . . .

~ Rule #7, DRINK!

~ Who are you to lecture Rumplilocks about always choosing darkness, REGINA?

~ I thought Emma was the one who could read people?  Lame!  Come up with something new, writers!

~ Calling Rumplilocks a beast counts as Rule #6?  Drink!

~ Ominous glass breaking is ominous . . .

~ Oh look, another potentially awesome character who's probably going to be dead by the end of the episode.

~ Rule #3, DRINK!

~ And now I'm singing Les Mis . . . thanks Regina.

~ (I'll look to you to sort this out, and be as patient as you can . . . )

~ Yeah, what was that about choosing darkness, REGINA?!?!




~ What's in the package, plutonium?

~ Oh look, now that he's dead they acknowledge August's existence.  YOU SUCK, WRITERS!


~ I can't imagine why Emma would want to stay in our world anyway.  I can see being hesitant about going to FTL, but she's really gotten the crappy ending of the stick in this one every time.

~ Gonna have to add a happy ending rule.

~ Apparently we're in the Wonderland quarter of Storybrooke . . .

~ Wait . . . is that what's-his-butt from Alias?  Also played the pilot(character) on the plane in the pilot(episode) of Lost?

~ They named Belle after me too.

~ They even spelled it right!!!!

~ Is this a persona Regina just created or is this the girl who was in the asylum for 28 years?

~ Hello soon to be dead new character.  Sorry about your lack of story arc.

~ Where do the casting people find all these hot guys?

~ Look at that, an actual answer to my recent question?  Enjoy it kids, that's the last time that's going to happen for a season or five.

~ Yeah, get used to me, RUMPLILOCKS!

~ Props on the sarcasm, but I was beginning to like you Regina and now I hate you more than I ever did.  Get over yourself.

~ Heh.  Grumpy rocks.

~ Rumplilocks has a point about Cora killing all y'all, Charming.

~ Begs the question of whether there's even a sliver of Belle left after crossing the line and all.

~ If Rumplilocks had vanished one of my books I never would have seen any good in him.

~ Ever.


~ EV. ER.

~ You're right Shay . . . the gold Rumpelstiltskin makeup is really funky this time around.

~ How does Charming know Rumplilocks needs a wingman?  What does he know about dating in our world?

~ (sort of) On that note, has anyone noticed that the entire town seems to just be going on with their Storybrooke lives except for the Charmings?  Not quite sure what to think . . .

~ I love the fact that Don Juan made a deal with Rumplilocks.

~ Take that, Regina.  Maybe people would keep you more informed if you'd quit trying to kill them once in a while.

~ She looks rather fabulous, thank you very much, Granny.  *raspberry*

~ Besides, I have yet to see Ruby wearing anything blue.


~ Question for you people who have characters with your name on tv all the time: is it always this trippy to hear people on tv talking to you?

~ That's a very solid glittery makeup line . . . makeup artist fail.

~ You know, that one twist I really can't get behind is the one where everyone in FTL knows Rumplilocks' name.  That was the whole crux of the story, not a minor detail.

~ The writers are certainly making good use of that back exit at Granny's.  It's actually getting rather ridiculous.  And why did she leave anyway?

~ Of course Marian's dying.  It's not like we can have a potentially interesting character around for more than one episode without them being related to the Charmings, can we?

~ And Belle just found the magic words.

~ Yeah, she might be hugging him but I'd still be holding a grudge about the book.

~ Wait . . . is that Sheriff Scumbag?  I am so not okay with that.

~ That wink was almost as hot as that leap, Charming.

~ And now Regina's found the beans.  The question is, does she destroy them now or string everyone along for a while.  (get it? beans? string?)

~ Yeah, should have kept that tongue the first time.

~ Oh BABY . . . now that might get me to forgive the disappearing book thing.

~ Also: Rule #6, drink!

~ Yes, you should have, but this "watching Gold cane the crap out of someone" is getting really old.

~ And you're glad?  What?  Evil Rumplilocks is turning not-Belle on?  That might be the creepiest thing I've heard of.

~ And the most twisted thing these writers have come up with.  And it's not like I need to remind anyone that they've come up with some twisted things.

~ I don't really see a problem with him carrying Henry like that Kayla.  Probably easier than using both arms.


~ Of course it's Hook.  Things appear not to have been very silly-hijinks-ical in New York.

You know, that ending would have had me shrieking a few months ago.  But after August and Cora and Belle and everything . . . yeah, no.  Kind of saw it coming, kind of finding myself not caring.  I hesitate to say the show has been ruined by the writing in the last handful of episodes, but I'm coming to hope it gets canceled after this season.  What about the rest of you?

P. ost  S. cript
Came across this a couple of weeks ago and it still makes me laugh.  I'd kind of love to see this version.

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