Little Celebrations

Seriously. How does this happen?


So I'm sitting here marveling at the fact that this year is already a quarter of the way done already - and dude, when did that happen? - and thinking of how nice it will be to put this month behind me. Because it has not been particularly pleasant. No major catastrophes or anything, but lots of little things that have just piled up and piled up to make it a stressful month. Can I just say that whoever came up with the idea of kicking off April with spring break was a freaking genius? I know everyone is burned out and ready for this break.

But anyway. I'm taking today to celebrate one of the few little moments of win from this month. And to channel my inner dork . . . or perhaps just my inner Katie, as those of you who know her will see the parallel. :-)

Anyway.

So a couple of weeks ago we made our lovely little bi-annual trip to Layton to keep the warranty on the most expensive thing we own up to date. And since these trips are some of the few times we get a change of scene we like to make a bit of a day of it, always eating out somewhere that isn't an option around here like Jason's Deli or In'N'Out. And I always, ALWAYS get a large lemonade from Hot Dog on a Stick for the road. Because their lemonade is seriously the nectar of the gods. Even better than Chik-fil-a's lemonade, and we all know how awesome that stuff is, don't we? :-)

I have no idea exactly how big their large lemonades are . . . other than to say that one can use the restroom at the Layton Hills Mall right before purchasing one and if one drinks the entire thing ("if" . . . ha!) during the drive back home by the time one reaches one's destination, one is likely to be hurrying into the house. (tmi? sorry . . . )

Perhaps one should let Luke take more than a couple of sips . . . nah. :-)

Anyway.

So Luke's getting a Blizzard for the road (because Dairy Queen? another thing we can't get around here - LAME!) and I'm getting my lemonade when I happen to spy the one-way ticket to my personal nirvana:



TA DA!!

Large lemonades? Cost $3. This baby? To quote a certain Brandy, it's bigger than my head (and a large), costs $4 and refills are $2 for the lifetime of the cup. Which means it will totally pay for itself come September. And you better believe I'll be making the most of the whole "lifetime of the cup" thing. In fact, we may have to make a trip to Salt Lake sometime soon just to get a refill. (and, you know, to check out the whole City Creek thing and stuff . . . but mostly for the lemonade.) And you better believe that the last thing I do on my deathbed will be to send someone out to refill it one last time. The only question will be, do I go with regular lemonade, cherry lemonade, or lime lemonade?

It's the tough questions like that that make you appreciate having time to plan your demise. :-)

Also - today my grandest dream is to get a Hot Dog on a Stick in this town so I can go get a refill everyday. (see what I mean about channeling my inner Katie, lol?)

Anyway. Here's to a brighter, cheerier, sunnier April. And lots of lemonade.


P. ost S. cript
Muppets!

My Lord, I Only Laugh Just to Keep from Weeping

Ten points if you can name that movie quote.

The good news is I'm feeling a bit better today. Of course, that might be because I've taken more ibuprofen in the last three days than I've taken in the last three months . . . but whatever works.

Anyway.

So it turns out the school has this policy that if a kid brings a cell phone to school they're supposed to check it in at the office in the morning and they can get it back at the end of the day. And it turns out that not a lot of the kids are obeying that policy. My guess is because they didn't even know about it because I had never heard of it before today, but then again I'm not exactly on the need-to-know end of the spectrum on this one. But still.

Anyway.

So the "detention" teacher (for lack of a better all-encompassing and non-explanation needing term) comes into 5th grade today and explains the policy to the kids and says if any of them have cell phones they need to give them to her now. At this point I'm thinking we're the last class she's going to because the pocket of her hoodie is practically hanging down to her knees.

Nope. Something like EIGHT kids go to their backpacks to get phones and it sounds like that's about the norm for all the classes. The teacher totally started laughing at this point . . . although I'm not sure if he was laughing in shock or at the fact that my jaw literally dropped in shock.

I can't imagine how these phones are being paid for . . . Luke and I both have pretty bare bones plans and we barely manage to keep our total bill under triple digits, but the kids were talking about all the games and apps and internet things they use their phones for (in fact, I don't think one of them actually uses theirs as an actual phone) so they've got to have bills two ro threes times are combined total.

However, my story today is much more amusing.

Shortly after this little exchange the kid I was working with, Claudio (of the inadvertently hilarious wit), who's parents he says told him he can have a cell phone when he pays for it. My response? "Well, what would you do with one anyway? Who are you going to call?"

I kid you not, this kid didn't miss a beat. He throws his hands up in the air and exclaims "Ghostbusters!!!"

It was seriously like he knew that question was coming and was waiting patiently for me to ask so he could respond that way and make me laugh. It may be a little conceited of me to say so, but it seriously feels like he and a couple other boys are constantly wandering my way to say something they've rehearsed and try to make sound natural just hoping I'll laugh. It's kind of cute.

Anyway.

A few minutes later Claudio mentions that Mr. Cox didn't get his phone taken away, in a tone that implied he should have. Now, the detention teacher made it quite clear that the policy applied only to kids, so naturally my reply was that Mr. Cox is not a kid.

"He's not married!"

Kid logic, amirite? It's a good thing Claudio's okay with being laughed at. :-)

(confession: this is totally the first thing that popped into my head when he said that.)

P. ost S. cript
Onion videos totally make up for not being able to watch The Daily Show. :-)
(very brief language, if that's a thing for you)

Goodbye, Cruel World

Shari - you totally need to get these.



You guys, I really think this winter is going to kill me. Or at least that Old Man Winter is trying to.

In case I haven't convinced you that I am a complete freak of nature - remember how I apparently have synesthesia? Yeah, 'nother story like that. But not nearly as pleasant.

Again, coming from the I-thought-everybody-was-like-this-until-Luke-gave-me-weird-looks file, sometimes when I get sick my skin gets super-hypersensitive. Like, ridiculously so. Like, enormously sensory overloaded so. It's really hard to describe, so bear with me, m'kay?

Anyway, you know how you can feel you clothes against your skin? (please, save the DUH! moments for the end) But it's such a normal and constant sensation that your brain just tunes it out? When I get sick it's like my brain can't do that. Everything I touch sends this woosh of sensory info to my brain. Every time I shift my weight I feel my clothes brushing against me - every inch of my shirt against every inch of my back. It's a really weird tingling feeling . . . the most bizarre combination of pleasant/painful I've ever encountered. On one level it's a slight tickle that might make one relax a little . . . on the other there's so much of it that my brain just can't handle it and it starts registering it as painful instead.

Clearly, I belong in a circus.

Anyway. I have never gotten that hypersensitivity without some sort of accompanying illness, usually a stomach flu or something for a day or two. The two always, always go together.

Until yesterday, when I woke up with super sensitive skin and kind of achy all over. And other than that . . . nothing. And today . . . still sensitive but otherwise nothing.

I? Have no idea what's going on. It's confusing and kind of obnoxious. And because I can think of no other culprit, I'm totally blaming the fact that it was gloomy yesterday and snowed last night after a whole week of lovely spring-like conditions. Dude, I was going around without a jacket last week and today I needed my coat! We all know what an old lady I am mentally, apparently my body has just decided to catch up or something. Blargh.

So anyway - if you happen to see me somewhere around this week and it looks like I'm walking around in a daze just know that my clothes are still too . . . I don't know, heavy? present? . . . for me to register much else. Work this week is going to be interesting.


P. ost S. cript
Honestly, I've lost count of how many times I've watched this since it showed up on facebook. It's just that awesome. Also: do frogs have teeth? (file under: burning questions you didn't know you wanted to know)

Face, Meet Palm

Remember, remember back in November when it was (sort of, briefly) all about Georgette?

She's back. And maybe this will turn out to be one of those-you-had-to-be-there-and-know-the-girl moments, but I'm still laughing and this happened four hours ago now.

Anyway, quick background: the fifth graders have a daily assignment that they do first thing in the morning. They turn it in, it gets corrected over lunch, and after lunch I spend my time pulling them back and helping them correct the things they get wrong. One of the problems today involved a sentence with multiple grammatical errors that they were to rewrite correctly. Among other things, it involved replacing "buyed" with "bought" and as Georgette and I were going over the spelling of bought, the conversation devolved into us being a little silly and this happened:

Georgette: I know how to spell (some word or other I've already forgotten)!! C-O-O-L!

Me: No, that's how you spell Miss Lacey.

(oh the lulz, no?)

Georgette: Well, you wanna know how to spell awesome? G-E-O-R-G-O-T-T-E. Wait!! I mean E-T-T-E!!!

Me: *blink blink* Georgette . . . did you just . . . misspell your own name . . . ?

Georgette: NO!! No! . . . maybe . . . yes . . .


Why is it these kids only make me laugh when during those rare moments when the rest of the class is silent?!?!

Don't get me wrong, I love this girl. She's a sweetheart, and really smart when she tries. But bless her heart, she's also the entire reason the stereotype of the dumb blonde was created.


P. ost S. cript
Sometimes I wish I was good at building stuff. Can you believe this thing is gravity powered?!?

Can We Just Leap To Spring Already?

Stir crazy.

I. Am. There.

I know really have no right or reason to complain (and that it must seem like I'm always talking about the weather and you're all really bored with it) since it's not like I've been housebound for any reason lately. And lets be honest, everyone gets the winter blues to some degree and mine certainly haven't come anywhere Certifiable Mental Disorder level.

But.

There's always a but, isn't there? Anyway, in my case I have spent this entire month in a rather depressed-ish funk that is semi-normal for this time of year for me, but more pronounced. And I just can't seem to shake it. Low-brow TV (*nudge*Katie*nudge*) and mint oreos and the like can perk me up for a while, but every afternoon when Luke goes to work I find myself staring at hours and hours of nothing more productive to do than find new recipes on pinterest and nothing sounds appealing and I just can't help but think "this cannot be how I'm going to spend the rest of my life!!!"

(and seriously, the first person to mention kids as the antidote to that thought gets minus a gazillion points because frankly nothing sounds less desirable to me at the moment . . . even though there are a few newborns I'm dying to see!)

I know this is pretty normal for me in February - just more pronounced than usual. And I know it'll go away in a few more weeks . . . assuming spring comes this year. The way this winter has gone, who knows? Seriously, the mere fact that it's snowing right now is depressing even though I know it'll probably gone by morning. (for those of you not around here who think I'm kidding - the snow from yesterday morning was all gone by the time it dusted up again last night. and that was gone by the time I got off work today. and now it's snowing again. this winter? has. been. nuts.)

That's part of the problem I think - I didn't get to enjoy winter when I like it and now that I'm done I'm getting taunted. Right now I could seriously kill to be able to walk to the zoo, wander around for a while, and walk home all comfortably without a jacket.

On a cheery note, I'm working on planning our first real vacation since going to Australia in 2008. It's not until July, but frankly I'm counting down the seconds.

If it snows in July, heads will roll. Seriously.


P. ost S. cript
Things that always cheer me up:
~ Cellos
~ Electric cellos (but now I'm aching to play "Lord of the Dance"!)
~ Israel Kamakawiwoʻole's "Over the Rainbow"

Today's Lesson Is . . .

Never Underestimate the Ability of Americans to Make EVERYTHING Revolve Around Food.

But first.



Huge props to Lora for suggesting such an utterly Lacey-proof solution to the amazing disintegrating zipper. Make note kids, 'cause when you find a fix-it that even I can't screw up . . . you want to hold on that.

But again, all thanks go to Lora for enabling me to go to school yesterday looking absolutely fabulous.

*insert a couple gratuitous pictures of my fabulous self here*


Seriously, how did I not totally make the character auditions? (don't answer that)

A few things:

~ Finally wearing this dress going on twelve years after it was purchased. How CRAZY is that?!?!
~ The kids' reactions upon seeing me = totally better than any high school boy's would have been.
~ Pulled out my curling iron for the first time in at least 2 years (probably more) and learned a couple of thing. 1- the curling iron still works . . . good to know. 2- relearned that my hair really doesn't hold curl well or long without a bit of hairspray. Too bad my mom spent my entire childhood using the stuff like the 80s would never end, otherwise I might be able to stand the it.
~ This shall be my go-to Valentine's dress. Which means it shall also be my motivation to keep in really good shape . . . because I don't think I could gain more than a pound or two and still fit in to this thing.


Moving on to our lesson. I'm sure this has been noted by many people before, but have you noticed how EVERY single holiday in this country revolves around food, no matter what its original purpose was? I mean, think about it -

Halloween - originally a day to honor the spirits of the dead/saints. Now? A day to dress oddly and gather/hoard copious amounts of candy

Thanksgiving - originally a day to thank God for a bountiful year or whatever other blessings one may be so inclined to be thankful for. Now? The day revolves so much around food that some people don't even call it Thanksgiving anymore. In fact, I had a manager at Disney that I sometimes wondered if she even knew that that's what the day was actually called. One time someone said the word "Thanksgiving" in her hearing and she responded with "What? You mean Turkey Day?" Oy.

Christmas - second only to the commercialism is the extravagance of the Christmas feast. And let's not forget the stockings filled with candy.

Easter - while still much more religious than it rapidly secularizing cousin, there's still the big deal made over the Easter Ham or Easter Lamb. And, of course, jelly beans and cadbury eggs. (mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!)

July 4th? Memorial Day? Forgetting the founding of a nation and honoring fallen soldiers - these days are all about the picnics and barbecues. Oh, and furniture sales where the big draw is the "free hot dogs and soft drinks."


And Valentine's Day? Originally a feast to celebrate a Catholic saint, theoretically a day to celebrate all forms of love, these days it is essentially Halloween 2.0. For proof, may I present exhibit A:

Behold the massive haul of deliciously junkie junk I came home with yesterday! On the one hand, I'm not complaining. On the other . . . I just have to say - what the crap?!?!?!?!?! When did it become required to include candy in your valentines? When did the cutesy picture and corny pun move into the realm of "not good enough to be a meaningless token of acknowledgment to classmates, most of whom you either tolerate or actively dislike," you know? Seriously.

I mean, come one. When I was in elementary school, the pile of valentines with candy looked a lot more like my pile from yesterday that was without candy. Behold:

(also note the confusion on how to address me, lol) And can I just note that although none of these came with candy, one, as you can see, is a coupon for a free Krispy Kreme donut, and the other two have tattoos inside.

And again, it appears "just" a valentine is not enough. Is it even possible to buy a box of valentines that doesn't automatically come with either candy or a tattoo? What is up with that?


I'm amazed and a little mind boggled, I must admit . . . but I'm not exactly complaining. Because some of these kids who give their classmates king size candy bars really know how to treat their teachers right. And they (rightly, lol) include people like me in their list of teachers. So I also came home with this:

Oh, baby! And can I just say that if their parents have the money to buy a candy factory for each of their 20-some classmates AND a good half a dozen boxes of Toblerone for the teachers . . . I kind of want to see if they can adopt me and start buying me other things, lol.

Anyway. Come along with me on my entertaining (IMO) series of discoveries from after work yesterday.

I. Got. Beibered. (and I'm still not even sure how to spell his name!) And from an adorably sweet little boy at that! Is there some sub-text to this I'm missing? :-)


Clearly, Luke thinks there is. :-D


Am I supposed to use the box as a Christmas decoration or something when I'm done eating?


HSM is still cool? Who would have thought? Fun fact: the people with whom High School Musical is not popular - high schoolers. College kids/20-somethings? It's a hit . . . don't get me started on the stories I could tell from Disney! Younger kids? Apparently it's still one of the coolest things around. Also - note the wildcat tattoo.


What is that even supposed to mean?



Okay, who's messed up idea was it that bugs are cutesy-lovey-dovey-good for valentines? Seriously! And a ginormous tarantula tattoo?!?!? I. DON'T. THINK. SO. Luke got the bag of goldfish crackers attached to this one. Mostly because I threw the whole thing at him upon seeing the FREAKING GINORMOUS TARANTULA TATTOO.

Again with the bugs! And who would want an earwig tattoo?!?!??!?! I can kind of see a spider - that's all edgy and whatever . . . but an EARWIG?!?!?!?!?! WHY?!?!?!?!?! EEEWWWW!!!!!!!!


Now this is something I can get behind. Cuddly kitties, all snugly and can-haz-cheezburger-y. Tattoo is vaguely creepy looking, but what can you do?


Wait. Wait. WAIT. The Rugrats grew up? The Rugrats can't grow up! By very definition they thereby cease to be rugrats! This is seriously the most illogical thing I've seen in . . . well, a few days at least.


So, in conclusion - food is good. But it's ceasing to be surprising that so many people in this country are wider than they are tall. What do you expect with a collective unconscious that is literally turning every single day of the year into an excuse to gorge on something "special" or whatever? Coming this fall: special edition Talk Like a Pirate Day chocolate oranges. Specially formulated to prevent scurvy!


On that note . . .


Anyone want this one? we won't be anywhere near Orem in the next month.


P. ost S. cript
Seriously, is there anything lamer than a kisskam? I've always wondered what happens if(when) they get people who aren't together. I mean, you don't know. Maybe they're cousins. Maybe they've just met and are just chatting and getting to know each other. This little girl seriously gets it right.

Pattern for Forever

Talk about targeted advertising.


So. Jump into the flashback machine with me.

*wavy lines and harp glissandos here*

The time is 2007, the place is Florida. Luke and Lacey are about to go on their first date. In a conversation taking place before that date, Luke asks Lacey what her favorite flowers are. Lacey says roses and marigolds.

First date. Luke brings Lacey flowers. "See, they're mums, you said they were your favorite!"

Awwwwwwww, he tried to remember. And he kind of got close!

As things progress Lacey reminds Luke of this story and explains that it's actually marigolds, not mums that are her favorite. Giggles all around.

Okay, flashback over.

*more wavy lines and pastel colors and dream-sequence music*

So. Saturday. We're talking about Valentine's Day and Luke asks what I want to do. I say he knows what I like. He says that chocolate and roses are just so cliche. Which is true, but doesn't change the fact that I like them. I mean, cliches become so for a reason, right? In this case, I will gladly embody the cliche . . . mostly because it's a delicious one.

Anyway. Luke goes on some more about how he feels like such an unoriginal slacker going the chocolate/roses route and he wants to be original when - "what's your other favorite flower again? Mums, right?"

Maybe it's only funny to me, but I cracked up. We have this EXACT conversation at least three times a year - in February, April, and May. And sometimes at other random times. Meaning we've had this very same conversation at least twenty times. The part that really gets me is that it's not just that he doesn't remember marigolds, but every single time he remembers mums specifically. It's not daisies or violets or petunias or some other random flower - it's not some other flower that starts with M (and I can't think of any off the top of my head, so it's actually not that surprising that Luke doesn't come up with any). No, it's that every time he remembers the same wrong flower and every time he's so certain he's finally gotten it right this time.

Until I start laughing. And then he immediately realizes he got it wrong again. And we laugh together at it might be even better than actually getting the marigolds in the first place. :-)

In fact, one time there was even a declaration of "no, I remember now! I get it wrong every time, but now I've got it! It's not marigolds, it's MUMS!" He was so sure of himself it was rather sweet. And funnier than usual.

Do you think by the time we're both 100 he'll have gotten it straight? :-D

Also: I'm totally craving some powdered sugar donuts now.


P. ost S. cript
Just cool.