Goodreads Just Needs to Add Half Stars Already

Good books are all alike, bad book are each bad in their own way.
              ~Anna Karenina (sort of)

So I just finished a series last week.  It was . . . not good.  Frankly, it started at "meh" and descended into "awful" by the time I finished.  It was not so bad that I regret reading it - I've read a few of those - but it was bad enough that I do kind of wish I'd known from the start not to pick it up.  I realize that probably doesn't make a lot of sense, but it makes perfect sense in my head so we're just gonna go with it.

I picked it up because it sounded like a fun read, and with multi-thousand reviews giving an average of almost four out of five stars it seemed like it must be at least tolerable, right?  And that's where things all fell apart.  Because I absolutely do not see what it is that the other 93% saw in it to give it a high rating. (perhaps I need to occupy goodreads?)

The hardest part is looking at the ratings my friends have left on the books, which also influenced my expectations of what I was reading - ten ratings, all fours and fives.  And it took some real internal debate for me to give even two stars.

So now we get an oft-visited topic around here - How Lacey Hates Being Noticeably Different from Everybody: Books Edition.  I'd say that easily 90% of my goodreads books haven't even been added by any of my goodreads friends.  But of the books that do have opinions to compare, it's usually pretty varied, and more or less middle of the road.  I don't feel bad about giving a book two stars when I see that people I know have already given it a one, a four, and three threes.  But giving something a one when it has seven fives and three fours . . . is actually a little distressing.  Which sounds totally ridiculous, and is a total non-issue, but at the same time I look at that little list of stars and I can't help but think - what did I miss?  Did we even read the same book?  (I'm about 75% we didn't at this point)

And then I get all self-conscious like I'm in the wrong class or wandered into a wedding reception at some hotel ballroom where I don't know anyone but got pulled into the conga line before I could duck back out and now everyone's asking me how I know the newlyweds and I'm just trying to figure out how to answer in a way that won't make me look like a party crasher.

I feel a little guilty about not liking this trilogy too, almost as if I am crashing a party considering how almost universally well-liked it is.  But the simple fact of the matter is, it's bad.  The first book is iffy, the second book wipes away any potential for redeeming the whole, and the third book is just bad metaphor after stupid cliche after plot hole after illogical and unexplained escape from painted corners.  Rinse, repeat.  I really don't get it . . . and, for a couple of weeks at least, I feel like I almost can't trust my own opinions.  I much prefer the books where I can say it's not my thing but I can see how others would like it.  But when there's more to like in Twilight . . . yeah.  This does not work for me.

That said, I have to admit there is something that is just so . . . satisfying about writing a review about a book I didn't like.  I guess it's a cathartic thing, the angrier I am when I finish the book, the better I feel when I finish the review.  I do my best to be nice while still being honest, although I assume it probably doesn't always come across that way.  (actually, if we're being honest I'm coming to realize it's probably safest to assume I'm coming across more or less the opposite way from what I intended in most situations)  I don't know what it is, but I always have an easier time expressing what I didn't like about a book (or movie or whatever) than I do about what I like about it.  Reading a good book is such an overall enjoyable experience . . . was it because the characters were fun?  Because the dialogue was snappy and clever?  The overall premise and plot were unique and well written?  they all blend together so seamlessly in a good book, one aspect making up for where another might be a little bit lacking that it just becomes hard for me to say what it was that took it from two stars to three, or three to four.  But a one star book, now - those I can almost always point to the moments where I was thinking something didn't make sense, or was too convenient, or not as funny as the book itself thought it was, or just plain didn't work.   Especially in a book I wanted to like (as these were) it's so easy to point to where and how that desire was disappointed.

The good news is the book I'm currently reading is sitting at a solid three, depending on the ending, and only one other person has even added it.  And the next one in my pile is the fifth in a series I've become quite the fan of.  So hopefully I can shake off this dissonance by the time they're both done.


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Have I already posted this one?  Oh well, don't care.  It's cute.  And we've been singing this song around here a lot lately . . . not sure why though . . .

So Here It Is

Soooooooooooooooooo . . . it's practically November.  And I did not forget my New Year's Resolution.  Which means it's, like, time to start.  Thursday.

Oh boy.

Now that it's here I am SO anxious.  I have a story line that I'm pretty sure is decent enough.  My main characters are about as fleshed out as they can get without actually writing anything about them.  Heck, I've even got my multiple word count widgets over there >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> so everybody can keep track of how it's going.  Because you're all totally going to be waiting with baited breath to see the word count every day.  Lol.

On the other hand . . . talk about rotten timing with the whole adding-a-potentially-lengthy-presidency-meeting-every-week thing.  Blargh.

Also: I've only done 50,000 words once.  Granted, I have done it, so do at least have an idea of what I'm in for.  But only once, it was seven years ago, and it took an entire semester.  I suppose a semester isn't all that much more than a month . . . but it feels like a lot more.

And then there's the part where I have to type it all in the first place (because counting each and every hand-written word just isn't going to happen).  Not sure how that's going to go.  My hands are itching to grab a luxuriously thick-inked, brightly colored gel pen and get going - but my pile of notebooks shall remain empty this time.  Sad day.

Anyway.  Starting this weekend I'll be going into hiding (well, even more, I guess I should say).  Feel free to start taking bets on whether I'll even survive. :-)

See you on the other side.



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Here's hoping I retain this much sanity come December 1.

That By Which We Call A Rose (Serves to Further Demonstrate What a Nerd I Am)

Allow me to put forth a theory/opinion: it is harder to name characters than it is actual babies.

Allow to me clarify: (beginning, of course, with some apparently random and unrelated tangent-like back story) in college I took a play writing class.  My professor was pretty awesome, and among other things she gave us a character bio outline handout full of facts/traits/questions/whatever that one should figure out/make up/discover/whatever for each important character early on.  Among the things on the list is the character's age and birthday including the year.  Something that seems really rather obvious, but that I'd never done so specifically before. (actually random unrelated tangent: I sometimes make up characters I'm 97% sure I will never use anywhere just because I think it's fun to fill out these character bios.)

Anyway.  Even before that class I always tried to make my names fit the character's age.  For example - a great-grandmother named Britney Ladashla?  Yeah.  Right.  But Dora Elizabeth?  Well, that was one of my actual great-grandmother's name.  And it just sounds right, doesn't it?  It's a grandma name - it just is.  So I went by the old lady-or-newborn sounding test.  And I suppose it more or less worked.  But you can never underestimate the ability of someone as nerdy as myself to take something like that to the next level. 

So then the internet happened.  Or rather, the no-longer-living-at-home-with-the-archaicly-dinosaur-iffic-tortoise-dial-up-internet-connection-until-two-thousand-freaking-six thing happened.  And the discovery-of-gajillions-of-baby-name-websites thing happened.  And the some-of-them-have-baby-name-popularity-rankings-for-the-last-over-a-hundred-years thing happened.  So naturally the Lacey-entertains-herself-by-looking-up-random-names-and-their-ranking-charts thing happened.  And, obviously, the using-those-sites-and-charts-to-name-characters thing wasn't very far behind . . . and now my method is to figure out the character's birthday, look up the popular names for that year, and pick something from the bottom two thirds or so of the top 100.  It works pretty perfectly, I find a name that feels and sounds spot on but still isn't a girl named Emma who was born in 2001 - if you know what I mean.

Okay, so here's the part where I start coming back around to my point or whatever.  As I've been playing around on various name sites and such I've been noticing how very . . . I don't know, "locked" some names are.

Case in point: Jessica.  A name said to be created by Shakespeare himself for (I think) The Merchant Of Venice, now it is the most quintessential of all the quintessential 80s names.  Even though it stayed in the top 5 from 1977 to 1997 it practically reeks 1987, smack dead center.  Think about it: when was the last time you heard about someone naming their newborn Jessica?  I'm willing to bet it's been at least ten years.  And on the end of the spectrum, Jessica is soooooooooooooo not an old lady name.  Unless, I suppose, you're an old lady who spends every day solving the latest murder in Cabot Cove, Maine.  (ten points if you get the reference . . . and minus a trillion for any comments on the fact that I could name the town off the top of my head.)

But people within five-ish years either way of my age with the name Jessica?  They're all over the place.  In elementary school there were exactly two names that ever had duplicates in my class: Sarah and Jessica.  I don't know what it is, but somehow it seems like the name got stuck in a time capsule, especially compared to other 80s names.  Sarah had timelessness going for it in the first place; Jennifers have used reinventions like Jen and Jenna to stay current sounding; Elizabeth had surpassed timelessness into obviousness . . . and then there's a handful of names that blipped big and died and will always be at least somewhat associated with big hair and neon and Madonna's cone bra phase - Jessica . . . Tiffany . . . Ashley.  (I feel like I should do the whole full disclosure thing here: I personally love the name Jessica.  And I have a cousin named Jessica.  And a sister named Ashli.  I like to wonder what my extended family name map would look like if there were as many girl cousins as there are boys.)

And here's where the harder-to-name-a-character-than-an-actual-baby thing comes in.  A person's name isn't just a reflection of who they are . . . it's also a major statement about the personality of the person/people who named them (by which I mean the character's mother . . . not me.  confused yet?).  A fictional person's name choice is likely to define that person very differently than a real life counterpart.  I have a daughter and name her Jessica?  I picked a pretty name I like that's become uncommon so she won't have to share it with classmates.  My character's mother names her daughter (born in 2006) Jessica?  She's an 80s baby who doesn't actually remember much of the 80s and tries to compensate by making everything in her life as 80s-tastic as possible . . . she considered naming her daughter Leia Buttercup - or maybe Sloan Claire (ten points for each reference, lol . . . well, five points for the first two).  My mother and aunt name their daughters Ashli and Jessica?  They picked cute, girly names they liked that just happened to be liked by the vast majority of the baby-having population at the time.  My character's mother names her daughter (born in 1989) Jessica?  She's a hopeless trend-follower desperate for any sort of popularity . . . her name is probably Lisa or Karen or Patricia (all top ten names in the 60s . . . no comment on certain other top names in that list).

In this particular case it's not that big a deal, the story I'm formulating has both mother and daughter as main characters, so I'm doing a thorough background bio on the mom anyway.  Of course, her name requires a bit of a dip into her mother's psyche . . . and before you know it I'm wondering where Eve came up with "Seth."

And therein lies why characters are harder: I didn't have to name myself.


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So this is totally shopped out the wazoo . . . but it's still pretty awesome.

Information Gathering

So I know you're all so totally wrapped up in my life and hanging on my every word around here that you don't need any reminder in the least . . . but. ;-)

The whole NaNoWriMo thing?  Still happening.  I think I even have a pretty good plot idea . . . which I shall be keeping under wraps.  *cue the hearts of the plagiarists of the world breaking*  I really like it - it may even be good enough for trying to publish when I'm done, although that remains to be seen.  Either way it'll feel good to be (non-blog) writing again.  I've missed it.

Anyway.  I'm planning on spending the summer doing some prep work - sketching a bit of an outline and making up a dramatis personae.  (side note: doesn't that sound so much more literature-y than character list?  I should get bonus points with publishers just for knowing the term, lol!)

Anyway.  I'm currently still in the process of naming (and in some cases creating) characters.  I've mentioned . . . okay, mostly ranted . . . about it a few times before, but I am a total names junkie.  As in, I can spend hours reading articles about baby names.  And picking and re-picking names to use on theoretical future children.  (this is the part where I should probably not admit that at one time I was absolutely determined to saddle some poor girl with Alexandriana.  that would be tougher to learn than Ashleigh Elizabeth . . . which apparently almost happened.)  But I sometimes get the feeling that I get lost in all the names.  You know how if you read or say a word over an over for some reason it starts to look and/or sound wrong?  Like when you're correcting a spelling test and by the time you get to the end you're not sure if the kid who spelled it "August" got it right . . . or the kid who spelled it "Ogst" did.

Also - that, you know, totally didn't happen last week.  And Katie totally doesn't need to go through those tests again to double check them.  (one of those sentences is true, lol)

So I need a little outside perspective.  I have a few names I like and am possibly kicking around for this story . . .or maybe another one . . . or possibly a child, although I'm trying to stick to names I don't quite like that much for characters.  Because I like so many names - especially girl names.  Anyway.  Since it's me, by a few I naturally mean pretty much every name I like in every possible version and with every possible spelling that doesn't look like a made-up Polish word or the ultimate in secure, unbreakable passwords.  Which do you prefer, why, what kind of character comes to mind when you hear that name?  (and at this point at least all the characters are pretty WASPy so keep that in mind if a particular name calls to mind a Polynesian princess or something.  that's the perspective I'm looking for.)

Also I'm just a huge dork who wants to know what everyone else thinks about a bunch of not-quite-random name variations.

Voila!:

Julie/Julia/Julianne/Julianna

Marie/Maria

Claire/Clara/Clarissa(?)

Clarissa/Marissa/Melissa

Sara/Sarah

Jennifer/Jenny/Jenna/Jen

Katherine/Catherine

Katherine/Katrina/Katya/Katerina

Olivia/Sophia

Rachel/Rachelle/Raquel

Adrianne/Adrianna

Adrianne/Emmaline  (Is pronouncing it Emma-leen too out there?)

Beatrice/Ophelia

Jacob/James

John/Jonathan

Caleb/Kevin

Nathan/Nathaniel

Alec/Alex

Philip/Phillip

 Quin for a boy - has it become to girly?
Quin for a girl - too trendy?

Brendon/Brandon

Brad/Brett(Bret)/Brian(Bryan)

Christian/Christopher

Theodore(Ted/Teddy)/Tobias(Toby)

Ian/Issac

Mark/Marcus


I could seriously go on for days . . . but I'll spare you.  I get the feeling you're already bored. :-)

I need to find a less nerdy hobby.



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Some days it doesn't take much at all to crack me up.

Something Tangible

Ummmmmmm . . . yes please. Delivered to me by its captain, please. (and in the flesh, not in gingerbread!!)



So this whole post is all about me being a cliche wrapped in a . . . I don't know, something else cliched. But while I totally have no shame about not making New Year's resolutions, I do sometimes feel a little left out when people talk about theirs. Not so much in a "hey, can't I play?" sort of way as much as a "hey, maybe I am missing out on something good" sort of way. And so, even though I do have a goal - sort of - for the new year, it's another forever ongoing one kind of like last years, so it kind of feels like another cop-out . . . sort of. So I'm adding something else. Something that has to be done within the calender year of 2012. Something that can be measured, success-wise. And this post - all of you - are going to be what makes sure I don't back out at the last minute . . . assuming, I suppose that there are still people reading a year from now.

Have you heard of NaNoWriMo? It's kind of a big deal, in a comparatively small circle. Anyway, here's the "tl;dr" version - National Novel Writing Month. Every November. The idea is that you write word one on November 1, and by the end of the month the goal is to have written 50,000 words. That works out to about 175 pages, which is a good first draft of a novella or a good beginning to a longer novel. Of course, it is just a first draft, and likely to need lots of editing and other work - far from publication ready, or even submission ready! I sometimes get the feeling that a lot of people forget that, and that's where Lacey's worst books ever written come from.

Aaaaaaaaaaaanyway.

I've been wanting to do NaNoWriMo for a few years now, but there's a lot more involved than just picking up a pen on November first. You have to at least have, you know, an idea for a story. Some thoughts about where it's going. It takes some prep work. And every year around this time I tell myself I'm going to do it next year . . . and every year I forget about it until November 1, at which point it's pretty much too late because I have no ground work laid to work from. But let's be honest - I will never have the free time to spend churning out 1600 words a day for 30 straight days like I do now (and currently anticipate having this time next year . . . just so that's established). So that's where all the cliches come in - "now is the time" and "if a goal isn't written down it's only a dream" and all that trite, cheesy goodness.

Here it is. I'm writing it down. I'm doing it. I'll spend the next ten months outlining and character creating and all that jazz and come November I'll be ready to go. Maybe I'll register officially, maybe I'll just do it on my own. But I'm doing it, and I'm hoping you'll all help me keep on track and not forget about it.

For starters . . . anyone have a story idea? :-)



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For those of you still frantically searching for a Christmas present from me, lol . . . this.

(the sound quality isn't the best . . . if you can't tell, it's that "BWONG!!!!" sound from Inception . . . which would also make me an awesome present.)

Celebrating (Imminent) Success

End of the year blog meme time, yay! I've seen this one around a bit lately, and since I'm within single digits of reaching my only tangible goal for the year - reading 150 books - this shall be my reward party.

And since you've all totally been watching my little ticker over there >>>>>>>>>>>> with baited breath all year - yep, I am down to nine more . . . woo hoo!!! There were times when I wondered if I'd pull it off.

Anyway. Meme time.

1) What author do you own the most books by?

Tough call. Rick Riordan and L.M. Montgomery are both up there. Does my collected works of Jane Austen book count for each novel? Because then she'd probably take the title when you include the duplicate copies.

2) What book do you own the most copies of?

I only own double copies of three Jane Austens.

3) Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions?

I usually don't notice until it's pointed out. So . . . thanks for that.

4) What fictional character are you secretly in love with?

Character? As in . . . singular? Can I just say "all of them" and have it count as one? Seriously:

Marius Pontmercy
Gilbert Blythe
Fitzwilliam Darcy
Colonel Brandon
Sir Percival Blakeney
Heathcliff
Rhett Butler
. . . and any others who might slightly resemble any of the above

5) What book have you read the most times in your life (excluding picture books read to children; i.e., Goodnight Moon does not count)?

Probably Tuck Everlasting . . . but I reread books a lot, so it's hard to say.

6) What was your favorite book when you were ten years old?

You really have to be more specific - I've never had consistent favorites. Favorite book on my tenth birthday? Favorite fantasy book when I was ten that I read that summer? Those I could answer.

7) What is the worst book you’ve read in the past year?

Hard to say. In an attempt to make a dent in my massive to-read list I've found myself reading a lot of vanity/self-published stuff lately. I'm sure there are some gems in that pile, but most of what I've found epitomizes why that was the route those people took. These, however, fall into the category of worst-of-the-worst.

9) If you could force everyone to read one book, what would it be?

Again, hard to say. The Happiness Project comes to mind, but I think I'd prefer to tailor my recommendation to each person.

10) Who deserves to win the next Nobel Prize for Literature?

Me. Totally. :-)

11) What book would you most like to see made into a movie?

Do I really need to get into my do-not-turn-books-into-movies-ever rant again?

12) What book would you least like to see made into a movie?

See above.

13) Describe your weirdest dream involving a writer, book, or literary character.

I don't generally recognize people in my dreams. I know I know them, and I know where I know them from (high school, Florida, books, etc.) but I don't usually know who they actually are.

14) What is the most lowbrow book you’ve read as an adult?

Ummmmm . . . what part of "vanity press" strikes anyone as high brow?! Anyway . . . yeah. I totally read fluffy stuff. Gotta balance out Austen and Milton and Wilde and Dickens and such somehow.

15) What is the most difficult book you’ve ever read?

Define difficult. While I speak it pretty well (or, at least I used to) I can't read French to save my life, so the stuff in my French lit classes were brutal. (and yet I hold on to the more than slightly insane goal of reading Les Mis in french someday. Unabridged.) I've never had to much trouble with Shakespeare or any "old school" stuff - if you go a little slower it's really not that hard. That said, I struggled with Wuthering Heights the first time . . . I think I was a little too young for the writing style. Also, somehow I ended up with a copy of Canterbury Tales in the original Middle English for a concurrent enrollment class my senior year. Kind of hard to read a book that is literally in a different language . . . especially when you think it's in yours.

16) What is the most obscure Shakespeare play you’ve seen?

Sadly, the only one I've seen is Macbeth - kind of shameful when you consider where I went to college, eh?

Also: donations for Lacey's ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY trip to Cedar next summer are being accepted starting . . . wait for it . . . now. Because with front page news like that . . . yeah. I have to go.

17) Do you prefer the French or the Russians?

Oh! Oh! New answer for most difficult!! I've never finished anything by a Russian - and heaven knows I've tried. I will get through Anna Karenina someday, dangit!

Hugo? Is my hero. One of them.

18) Roth or Updike?

Haven't read either, actually. I probably should fix that.

19) David Sedaris or Dave Eggers?

Neither.

20) Shakespeare, Milton, or Chaucer?

Okay, I haven't actually read any Milton yet . . . I said I was working on my to-read list, not that it was done. Tough call - Shakespeare is a bit easier to read un-translated, but Chaucer's dirty jokes are easier to get.

What? You didn't know that those are two of the dirtiest writers in the history of writing?

21) Austen or Eliot?

I shall echo others' answers: which Eliot? And why Eliot? Because when I think of authors similar to Austen, Eliot doesn't even make the top, like, 100.

22) What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?

I don't know that there are any large gaps in my collected readings, but there are a few that would make me feel like I should turn in my degree if I admitted to them.

23) What is your favorite novel?

Today? The FitzOsbournes in Exile. Mostly because it's the last one I finished . . . well, the last good one anyway. Can't wait for the third one.

24) Play?

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm . . . Much Ado. But mostly just because I've got Shakespeare on the brain from all these questions.

25) Poem?

I'm not a huge poetry person, but I do have a bit of a thing for "Dover Beach" by Matthew Arnold.

26) Essay?

Really don't do essays. Montaigne, I guess. Since I've read him.

27) Short story?

Again, not so much with the short stories. That said, a former professor of mine has a great collection out there (umm . . . shameless plug alert!) And I am a bit of a junkie of anything Millhauser.

28) Work of nonfiction?

I almost never read it so this is easy - The Happiness Project.

29) Who is your favorite writer?

Today? Ummmmmmm . . . Jane Austen, Jo Rowling, Jasper Fforde, and Emily Bronte

30) Who is the most overrated writer alive today?

Stephenie Meyer . . . Jack Weyland . . . oh! - Jodi Picoult! I really don't get why she's so huge. I wanted to like her since I'm practically the only person who doesn't, but all her books are the same - sex and violence that serves no real purpose beyond shock value to get people talking about her books.

31) What is your desert island book?

If ever I find myself on a desert island, it will be the chunk of land that castle from Beauty and the Beast is on, which mysteriously floated away from . . . ummm . . . all the land surrounding it . . . and I shall never leave.

32) And … what are you reading right now?

Dreams of Joy. I read Shanghai Girls this summer and really liked it, so I have high hopes for this one, but I haven't gotten very far yet.



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Totally fitting. Also totally awesome. And totally spot on.

No Rest For The Grammar Nazi

The Santa Clause. Clever movie. You've seen it, don't lie. (feel free to lie about seeing the sequels though) It came out in 1994. I was . . . well, since this is the internet I shall just say that my age had two digits and I was not a teenager. Even then I thought it was an immensely clever title. Because you see, the mythical fat man in a red suit is named Santa Claus. No e on the end. There's an e on the end in the title of the movie because the movie isn't talking about the Bearded Dude (or Jeff Bridges . . . ten points!). No, the title was referencing the legal definition of the word clause, which is a stipulation or article in a legal document. As in "if you put on the red suit you are contractually obligated to keep it on blah, blah, blah." The clause pertaining to being Santa, if you will. And they even made the e a different color to emphasize what they were going for. And maybe I'm being a little arrogant here, but as a child still in elementary school I recognized that, got it, and enjoyed the pun.

So it breaks my heart a little to see that now, 17 years later, somehow everyone has come to believe that the jolly old elf's name is Santa Clause. Because you can hardly find it in writing anywhere properly any more. I think I die a little inside every time I see it spelled wrong. And you know Santa's gotta be pretty ticked by now. I hate it when people misspell my name, and I haven't been around for a century or two. I think this shall be my battle in the "war" on Christmas. Team CLAUS, y'all.

I would hide everyone in my facebook feed who spells it wrong . . . but I don't think I'd have many people left unhidden by the end of the month.

Let the Christmas blogging begin - happy holidays folks!


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Talk about a movie that just won't end - I much prefer this version!!

27

Day 27 ~ Your day job vs. your passion

This is going to sound pathetic with such an apparently easy topic, but I really don't know anymore.

It used to be so obvious - I've wanted to be a writer ever since I can remember. I've always loved making up stories. I spent a lot of time in high school (time that often should have been spent on homework) writing stories . . . most of them bad, some of them intentionally so trying to be funny. In college I was always writing - of course, I was also always taking writing classes. But it was so awesome to be getting constant feedback from such a variety of people, and that made it truly enjoyable (mostly) even though it was assigned.

I honestly intended to keep writing when I went to Florida, but it just didn't happen. Working for Disney just isn't the type of job that lets you write on the side. Especially as a CP, which everyone acknowledges as merely a slight step up from slave labor, by the time I got home I was usually just too tired to do anything other than veg out in front of the tv or sleep. In the first few months particularly, I generally spent one of my days off lying on the couch with my feet elevated because I was pretty sure my legs were going to fall off. Needless to say, it was a vey physically demanding job and I just had no energy left for mental work.

Since leaving, I've tried. Particularly last summer - I spent a lot of time trying to get a couple of ideas I had going. I just couldn't do it. And I don't know if I've just got the most epic case of writer's block ever, or if what I took for a real passion and dream job was actually just a longer-lasting-than-usual passing fancy that finally exhausted itself.

As far as my day job goes - I love it (as I should hope you've all guessed). And while I have said a few times that it has also been proof that I was right not to become a teacher, I am fervently hoping and praying that I'll get it back in a few more weeks (seriously, where is summer going?!) because if I don't I really don't know what I'll do.

I guess part of the problem is that neither Luke nor I are very ambitious people career wise. Neither of us are interested in "climbing the corporate ladder" as they say (me especially after watching my dad's career!!) or being some super important person where we work. We'd rather make a life than a living. In fact, Luke's perfectly content to stay at Convergys as long as it keeps covering our bills. All we want is enough to pay for what we need and every now and again splurge a little, whether it's a new book once in a while or a big(ish) vacation every once in a greater while. Sometimes we both get the feeling that there's something wrong with us . . . that we're not "normal" because we don't want a lot of flashy stuff and important sounding jobs to show off to people. And then I feel guilty about not being so passionate about writing anymore, like I'm wasting . . . something. And then I try again, and I feel even more frustrated when the words that used to flow so naturally just won't come. It's really a rather depressing cycle.

So for now, I guess I'll just stick to my day job - assuming I still have one.

P. ost S. cript
Wow, that was kind of a downer, wasn't it? Good thing Super Grover can always cheer things up! "It is not nice to confuse a super hero" . . . HAHAHA!!

12

Day 12 ~ Write a poem to someone you love.

Yeah, uh, no. Heaven knows I'm not much of a poet as it is and "love" poetry? Not happening. Instead you get two of my better poems - in fact, they've actually been published! (okay, so it was SUU's English department's yearly literary journal, no one outside the department has ever read it or ever will, and I certainly didn't get paid for them . . . but it still totally counts!)


Fate

Sitting at the window watching the world go by
Moving along frantically at a snail's pace.
Everyone in a hurry to win a non-existent race --
Even though doing so anyone would deny.
So many worries are worth scarcely a sigh
They'll soon be gone along with time and place
Switched for another, a completely new face
Leaving today's urgent concerns high and dry.

So why do I feel compelled to join in
When logic says to keep far away
And well out of this game I can't win?
I toss my coin in the collection tin
Fate has decreed that I must stay
For life to chew up and spit out again.



(ten points if you recognized the form!)


Heart's Desire

Last night she
Dreamed she was
Kidnapped by
Pirates.

No one
Came to rescue
Her, but
That's not why

She was disappointed
When she woke
Up.



Bonus - the poem included on my invitation to Poetry Club from (Eric):

Roses are red
Violets are blue
So are you



I kinda miss that kid. :-)

P. ost S. cript
Just kinda fits. Also: totally played this one back in the day.